A collection of humorous jokes and homophone sentences (70 items)

Part 1 of some humorous cold jokes with homophones

1. Omelette fell in love with poached eggs. He walked downstairs to Poached Egg’s house with his guitar and sang: This is a fried egg Egg’s little love song.

2. Zhuge Liang burned Red Cliff and borrowed the east wind eight times to become Zhu Bajie!

3. Tell those who used to look down on me that I own a house, not rent it, but just opened it in Kings Canyon, okay?

4. I went to the dentist recently and the doctor asked me why my teeth were so badly worn at such a young age. I said that I had been grinding my teeth all these years.

5. I didn’t bring any books to class today. The teacher asked me where the books were. Yeah, where did I lose?

6. Some frogs will touch your belly, because Conan said that the scheming frog keeps touching your belly.

7. Wearing AirPods all day long will affect your love luck because AirPods do not have an audio cable.

8. You said that girls with apple-shaped muscles smile naturally, but do girls with Android phones have awkward smiles?

9. The male shark stunned the female shark and After taking two photos, when he arrived at the police station, the police asked him why. He said aggrievedly: "I just wanted to take two photos of the shark with her."

10. Wu Jing meets a mouse - Wu Jing Beat and trample!

11. If you don’t even love me, then what do you love? Einstein

12. Mr. Yu Guangzhong: “Don’t ask me if you are in my heart, I am in Yu Guangzhong. It’s you.”

13. My friends keep trying to persuade me to marry a rich man. It’s funny. Please stop trying to persuade me, okay? Go and persuade the rich, I am willing!

14. Do you know how much a star weighs? Eight grams because of Starbucks.

15. Even if the weather is so hot, we will always get along.

16. Conan has always spoiled Xiaolan, and he is really a master of spoiling her.

17. If you forward this purple potato, the person you like will love it for you.

18. The crab and the clam took the exam together. The crab was found to be cheating. The teacher asked the crab whose copy you copied. The crab said: "I copied the clam's copy." The teacher said: "You are a piece of shit." Some humorous jokes and homophone sentences part 2

19. Everyone is a hamburger. Why are you all stupid? I am the baby.

20. You can’t tell people who are afraid of dogs: Life is not just about the dogs in front of you, but there are also dogs on the streets.

21. The little bear planted a fruit tree and took good care of the fruit tree every day until autumn. The fruit tree did not bear any fruit. The little bear said disappointedly: "No results, no results."

22. I accidentally touched my knee when I just went out. It’s a knock on my knee. It’s a knock on my knee. Did you hear that? It’s such a pity.

23. A plan was made, because of lan, a p was completed.

24. The clothes are wrinkled and I can’t even iron them with an iron. I said don’t wrinkle them, don’t wrinkle them. Did you hear me? Don't go.

25. I really don’t recommend taking the bus. I took the bus for six stops and fell in love with fifteen boys.

26. I want a cup of pumpkin almond dew, not apricots, not melons, not dew, but Nanren.

27. One day, the elk got lost, so he called the giraffe and said, "Wai, I'm lost!"

28. Find Ouyang Xiu.

29. Why do you always want to eat when you are in a bad mood? It’s because you feel sad.

30. Once upon a time, there were two turtles that looked very similar. One was called home and the other was called out. After the physical examination, the doctor took the case sheet and asked who the sick one belonged to. Take a closer look. , I am a turtle at home.

31. "Have you seen my crape myrtle?" "Isn't your mouth right on your face?"

32. Why does a person dislike sitting the more he eats? Yes, because of Cainiao Easy Station (Inn).

33. One day I was playing King of Kings, and I kept dying in the bottom lane. I told my teammates to guard the bottom lane, guard the bottom lane, guard the bottom lane, guard the bottom lane, did you hear it? Let it go.

34. Beautiful women’s rooms are usually messy. After all, they are beautiful women in messy rooms.

35. No one understands you, is it aggrieved? Do you think anyone understands the math problem? Is it aggrieved?

36. The mother cat scolded the kitten and said: "You Why do you tear the caught mouse into pieces? Don't you think it's cruel to do this?" Kitten Li said quietly: But the mouse slices are really delicious. Part 3 of humorous cold jokes and homophone sentences

37. If you don’t even think about me, what are you thinking about? Do you want to shi?

38. The girl said to her father, "Dad, where are we going?" Her father didn't hear her, and her mother smiled. The girl said to her mother, "Mom, why are you laughing?" Her mother slapped her.

39. What will the Want Want Snow Cake turn into when it gets hot? Want Want Senbei.

40. You don’t even like me, what do you like? Xizhilang?

41. The Foolish Old Man said to his son: Move the mountains, move the mountains. Son: Shining.

42. Do you know why seagulls stop calling when they arrive in Europe? Because Parisian gulls are mute.

43. Let me introduce myself: I am 20 years old, with sound limbs, complete facial features, normal defecation and urination, can breathe on my own, eat three meals a day, and can use a smartphone. I have a bright future.

44. If a girl does something bad, God will send you a boy when he gets angry.

45. "What book did you buy?" "Programming." "C++ or Java" "Shen Congwen"

46. I went to work in the fields today, and I was lucky enough to be a star. People passing by called me: It’s hot in the ground.

47. That day, the light next to the bedroom at home was flashing. I called the maintenance technician. What question did he ask? I said: "The light next to the bedroom is too bright" and he said: "Catch the vine of love?"

48. At home, I accidentally bumped the rag on the corner of the table and it fell and actually rolled out of the door. It turned out to be Buneng can go out

49. Zhuge Liang: "Wind, you blow to the west" Wind: "You are like a watermelon"! ! !

50. You don’t even love me, what do you love, do you love Qiyi?

51. The steamed buns are too bland, I want to add some seasonings, and after adding When I ate it, I just felt heartache. It turned out that what I added was really unprepared.

52. If you don’t like it and I don’t like it, who will I send the selfie to?

53. I went to buy oysters. On the way home, all the oysters jumped out of the bag and got into the soil. It turns out that this is called oysters like mud.

54. Let me share with you the types of chili peppers, non-spicy, mildly spicy, spicy, sweet and spicy. Today is spicy for my birthday. Part 4 of some humorous cold jokes and homophone sentences

55. Asu and Asu were together for one day. When eating, Asu acted like a spoiled child: Sususususususu feeds Susu.

56. Don’t love me, it won’t work out, I have many things to do and I still like to do things.

57. When I went to school today, the teacher asked me where my books were. That’s right. Where did I lose?

58. Do you know? Doraemon does not have a neck for hygiene reasons. Why? Because of "blue neck mud accumulation".

59. The child’s chocolate melted and fell to the ground. The child said it looked like mud, like mud. Did you hear that? I miss you so much.

60. There was a piece of bread walking on the road, and my foot suddenly sprained while walking. It turned out to be a croissant.

61. I was just reported as a nuisance by my neighbor because I am so poor.

62. One day, the little duck was reading a book. Mother Duck said it’s time to eat. Close the book. Close it. Make peace. Did you hear it?

63. Asked Stone Monkey when he misses home the most, he answered: Late at night, why? Because in the dead of night, the stone monkey is homesick.

64. Girls who love to laugh are always in good shape. Why?

65. It is said that when Ruda pulled a weeping willow upside down, he was so frightened that the flowers nearby closed up, so others called him "Flower Closed".

66. A duckling said to the chicken: "I like you". The chicken said to the duckling: "You don't have to be a duck."

67. The mushroom was walking on the road and was hit by an orange. Shiitake said angrily: "You don't have eyes, go to hell.

"Then the orange died. Because the bacteria want the orange to die, the orange has to die. .

68. Do you know how much a star weighs? Eight grams is because of Starbucks.

69. Question: Do you really want to lose weight after eating so much every day? Answer: Enjoy it!

70. The puff was squashed and my mother said it couldn’t be eaten. I asked why because it was a flat puff.