Sorry, tell me some jokes. .

There are many jokes here. She's still taking a shower. Her daughter is washing dishes in the kitchen. The phone rang. She picked up the phone and replied, "Mom may be taking a bath. Please wait for me to have a look. " She reached out and turned on the hot water tap, and there was a scream at once. She turned off the tap and said, "Yes, she is still taking a bath." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "Li Si thought how is it possible? I bet. I saw Zhang San go to the front and hit his head with a bang and said, "Xiao Wang! What a coincidence, come to the movies! " The bald head said, "Sir, I'm not Xiao Wang! """huh? Aren't you Xiao Wang? Oh! Sorry, I mistook you for someone else. "In this way, Zhang San earned 500. Before long, Zhang San said, "Believe it or not, he won't scold me once if I go to K again! Bet 500! " Li Si thought: Anyone who is innocent and is not turned over twice by a stranger K is gambling! I saw Zhang San go to the front; "Pa" hit his head and said, "Xiao Wang! What a coincidence, come to the movies! " The bald head said, "Sir, I am not Xiao Wang!" " ""huh? Aren't you Xiao Wang? Oh! Sorry, I mistook you for someone else. " In this way, Zhang San earned another 500. Before long, Zhang San said, "Believe it or not, he won't scold me once if I go to K again! Bet 500 "Li Si thought: Anyone who is innocent and won't be embarrassed by strangers three times will gamble! Similarly, Zhang San went to the front, patted his head again and said, "Xiao Wang! Come on! If you owe me tens of thousands, just don't know me! " Although the bald man was very angry, he could only say, "Sir! I'm really not! You admit your mistake! " Zhang San said, "I'm so sorry! "The cinema is too dark, so I'm sorry!" I made another 500 for Zhang San! The more he thought about it, the more unhappy he became, so he changed his seat to avoid being k again. I saw Zhang writing to Li Si: "All right! Give you a chance to repay the principal! Bet a thousand that he won't scold me once if I go to K again! " "This is impossible! You can laugh without being beaten. Very good! I bet. " Zhang San stood up and walked to the bald head; There was another loud noise. He said, "Xiao Wang! So you're sitting here! I also recognized that the bald head sitting there is you! " ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ And Peter has a son who just turned eighteen this year. In order to show that he is open-minded and loves his son, Peter takes his son to the bar to buy wine. In the middle of drinking, Peter suddenly thought that it would be bad if his son was drunk and didn't know, so Peter said to his son seriously: son! Do you see two lights in front of the bar? When two lights become four, it means you are drunk, so you should go home, but I didn't expect my son to suddenly say to Peter with a suspicious face: Dad! But there is only one light at the door? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Peeling onions Daming just got married. One night, my wife was busy cooking dinner in the kitchen. Daming wants to help his wife do some housework for consideration. So he said to his dear wife, honey, what can I do for you? The wife said, You are all thumbs. Peel the onions if you find something simple. Daming thinks it's very simple. But soon after peeling, Daming was choked to tears. I thought it was not that simple, and I was too embarrassed to ask my wife, so I had to call my mother for help. Mom said: this is very tolerant and can be peeled in water. Daming then completed his wife's task according to his mother's method, and he was very happy. The next day, Daming called his mother and said, Mom, your method is really good, but it's very good, but the only fly in the ointment is that you have to breathe often and are very tired. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ One of the Americans suddenly asked: What day is it today? The other replied: Today is Sunday. The old man turned pale with fear and left, thinking, "Why did you throw up?" One answer: "Spitting is decapitation!" America is terrible! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ stutter: boss boss, bottle after bottle of coke boss was so sad that he got him a bottle of Coca-Cola before he finished drinking it. Stammer: How much is it? Boss: eighteen dollars. Stuttering: buy buy, buy buy, buy buy, buy buy, buy buy, buy buy and buy buy, the boss was very sad and opened it for him before he finished. Stammer: buy buy can't afford it. The boss had to drink the bottle of coke by himself. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ This is a true story that happened in a senior dormitory: Brother Fa made a new girlfriend, and everyone praised how beautiful his girlfriend was. One day, Brother Fage was sitting at his desk alone. As a result, there was only one question after reading it: "Did you land face first when you came down to earth?" ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Shy, he secretly observes her ecology every day, and finally finds a cycle-she must go to the noodle restaurant to eat noodles one day a week. He felt that the time was ripe, so one day he waited for her at the noodle restaurant first. When she walked into the shop and sat down, he took a deep breath and strode forward to ask her name. He said, "Miss, what's your name?" The young lady opened her eyes wide and said to him, "My name is beef noodles." ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ We are going to report to the military school. I had to have a physical examination before, so I went to the hospital In groups of four,,, entered the room,,, and all four were wearing only underwear. The doctor said to take them all off. The doctor said to look around. The students in the front row turned their penises around. The doctor almost fainted, and the doctor said,,, I mean walking around in the same place,,, and the three of them laughed on the spot. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Animal Teacher: What are you wearing on your feet? Student: It's leather shoes. Teacher: Where did the leather come from? Student: This is from a cow. Teacher: So, what are the animals that provide you with shoes and meat? Student: It's my dad. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The plane of chewing gum is about to land. The waitress said to the passengers, "Please use chewing gum to prevent the eardrum from breaking." After the plane landed, a passenger found the service girl and said, "Your method is so good that I can't feel my ears." The waitress said, "Really? That's great. " "But," said the passenger, "can you tell me how to get the gum out of my ear?" ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Echo patient's mouth): "You have a big hole in your tooth! There is a big hole. " Patient (unhappily): "There is a hole, but it goes without saying twice." Dentist: "I only said it once." That's an echo, an echo. " ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Suddenly a group of soldiers next to her fired a row of guns, and the young lady fell into the arms of the accompanying company commander in a fright. The tour guide quickly blushed and said, "I'm really sorry, I was scared by your gunshots." The company commander said, "It doesn't matter. Do you want to watch the cannon drill? "~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Taxi A taxi driver was driving very fast, and the passengers in the car were very scared. Let him drive slowly. The driver said," Hurry up! This is how my eldest brother drives a taxi. He has been driving for more than ten years, which is nothing. ".Then the taxi competes with the person driving the sports car next to it. The passenger was very scared and asked him not to race with others. The driver said, "Come on! My eldest brother drove a taxi like this, and it didn't matter for more than ten years. "Later, the driver ran a red light again and again, and the passengers were very scared. He told him not to run the red light again, and the driver said, "Come on! This is how my eldest brother drives a taxi. He has been driving for more than ten years, which is nothing. "Suddenly, I came to a crossroads with a green light in front. The driver braked suddenly and stopped. The passenger asked curiously, "Why stop now?" The driver said awkwardly, "No, I'm afraid my eldest brother will run a red light. " ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Tommy: Yes, I bought a valve that saves 30% fuel, a carburetor that saves 40% fuel and a set of spark plugs that save 50% fuel. Neighbor: What was the result? Tommy: Twenty kilometers later, the oil in the tank overflowed! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Chicken Crossing the River The thief stole a chicken and plucked its hair by the river. At this moment, a policeman came and the thief hurriedly put the chicken into the river. The policeman asked, "What are you doing? What is in the river? The thief said, "That's a chicken." It is going to cross the river. I look after his clothes here. " ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Then a piece of paper was sent to him. He picked it up and habitually said, "This is the news we just received. Then he opened the note and read, "Dude, you still have a spinach leaf on your front tooth." "