Complete works of humorous English jokes

Internet is not only indispensable in our life, but also an important channel to relieve stress and mood after work and study. It is precisely because we have such a demand that online jokes can flourish. This article is about humorous English jokes, I hope it will help everyone!

The doctor's wife A doctor and his wife had a big fight at breakfast. "You are not so good in bed with her!" He let out a yell and stormed off to work. By about 10 in the morning, he decided that it was best to make compensation, so he called home. After ringing many times, his wife picked up the phone. "What took you so long to answer?" "I'm in bed." "What are you doing in bed so late?" "Ask for a second opinion."

English humor joke: blind date A young playboy went to an amusement park with a blind date. They went to ride the ferris wheel. After the trip, she looked bored.

"What do you want to do next?" He asked.

"I want to weigh myself," she said.

So the young man took her to guess the weight.

"1 12," said the man who weighed himself. He was absolutely right. Next they took a roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and marshmallows, and then he asked her what else she wanted to do.

"I want to weigh myself," she said.

The young man thought that he really did a good thing tonight. He took the girl home on the pretext of having a headache. The girl's mother was surprised to see her coming home so early and asked, "What's the matter, dear, didn't you have a good time tonight?"

"Wow," said the girl.

English joke about humor: Bingo Winner This person has a very charming wife. She always wants clothes, jewelry and so on. But he is not very rich.

One day, his wife came home with a diamond necklace. The guy asked, "Where did you get it?"

His wife replied, "I won in the bingo game."

The next night, she went home with a mink coat. The guy asked, "Where did you get it?"

His wife replied, "I won in the bingo game."

The next night, she drove home in a Mercedes. The guy asked, "Where did you get it?"

His wife replied, "I won the bingo game." Please go upstairs and give me bath water. "

His wife went upstairs and found a small amount of water in the bathtub.

The wife asked, "Why do you put so little water in the bathtub?"

The guy replied, "I don't want you to get your bingo card wet."

Humorous English joke: A slow-witted driver is sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch a speeding driver. A state police officer sees a car driving slowly at a speed of 22 miles per hour. He thought to himself, "This driver is as dangerous as a speeding driver!" " So he turned on the light and asked the driver to pull over.

Approaching the car, he noticed that there were five old ladies-two in the front seat and three in the back seat-with eyes as big and white as ghosts.

The driver was obviously confused and said to him, "officer, I don't understand. My speed was just the speed limit! Is there any problem? "

"Madam," replied the policeman, "you didn't exceed the speed limit, but you should know that cars slower than the speed limit are also dangerous to other drivers."

"slower than the speed limit?" She asked. No, sir, I'm driving at the speed limit ... 22 miles an hour! "The old woman said with a little pride. The state police tried to control Achak and explained that "22" was a route number, not a speed limit. Embarrassed, the lady grinned and thanked the police officer for pointing out her mistake.

"But before I let you go, madam, I must ask ... are all the people in this car ok? These women seem to have been greatly frightened, and they have been silent during this time. " The police officer asked.

"Oh, they will be all right soon, officer. We just got off the 1 19 highway. "

British joke about humor: carpenter "the car won't start", helping his wife and husband. "I think there is water in the carpenter."

"How do you know?" The husband said contemptuously. "You don't even know what a carburetor is."

"I tell you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there is water in the carburetor."

"We'll see," sneered the husband. "Let me check. What about the car? "

"In the swimming pool."