Your soul died with the snow. May you rest in peace forever.

20 12 12 2 1 Friday, the legendary end of the world. The end did not come, but the snow in the sky floated in. Wake up in the morning and see a world made of powder and jade; On Saturday 22nd, the sunshine is brighter and warmer than any other day. At noon on the 23rd, when everyone was joking about the end, Teacher Sun took a phone call and said solemnly, "Li Bo died!" " A very light voice, like a bolt from the blue, shocked everyone present. This table, almost all of which belonged to Chinese and English schools, was once Li Bo's most cordial comrade-in-arms!

On the way back, I looked at the large areas of snow that had not melted before me, and my heart was dripping with tears. Sad, just sad!

Chinese and English may be the name of the past, Li Bo, or they may become the name of the past, in this world and in our hearts.

I still remember that in the summer of 2006, when I first came to a Chinese-English school, I looked at the young faces of my colleagues. I was so excited by this warm atmosphere that I vowed to contribute my youth to it. Chinese and English schools record our struggle footprints, bearing our laughter and tears, and the fate of each of us is closely linked to it. Li Bo, who graduated from the history department of Jining Normal University, came here at the beginning of the school although he was born in the 1980s. He is already a veteran of Chinese and English schools. Although he was young and handsome at that time, he was calm and introverted, so he didn't know much about it. He only knows that his class is good, and he is often among people who send classes to the countryside. I didn't know he was suffering from a disease. Seeing his thin figure, I used to wonder: how can you look so weak at a young age? Later, I stayed in the same office for a year. Once I saw him listening to "Flower Burying" in A Dream of Red Mansions, he sang along: The people who buried flowers today are really stupid. Who did he know when he buried them? I suddenly feel cold and painful, and at the same time understand that he turned out to be a melancholy scholar of Li Yu's style!

What caught everyone's attention was the news of his mother's death. In the early summer of 20 10, we were quite surprised when we heard the news, because not long ago, we saw his mother taking her granddaughter to school. That is a gentle and kind old woman. She doesn't look sick at all. How did she suddenly die? Later, after hearing everyone secretly say that she committed suicide, we were puzzled: why did a seemingly happy family choose such an ending? I didn't dare to mention it when I saw Li Bo, but I saw him getting more and more depressed. Sometimes I do morning reading in the classroom on the third floor. I often see him go upstairs after seeing off his daughter, stop at the corridor window on the third floor, stare at the distance silently for a while, hear him make a slight gasp when he walks by, and then go up to the fourth floor. It is said that he has asthma since he was a child and has never been eradicated.

At the end of the school year, a piece of news left both Chinese and English at a loss: Chinese and English are going to be dissolved, so let's find our own way! Once all the blood and sweat were spilled on this hot land, why not worry now? In this vacant state of mind, an article by Li Bo appeared in Liangshan Bar, which attracted everyone to circulate:

The Blooming of the Last Wonderful Flower in the Prosperous Age —— Curtain call in Chinese and English

Inscription: One leaf, one bodhi, one flower and one world. -Buddhist prophecy

Someone once asked, "What are Chinese and English?"

I said, "It used to be a grass struggling to survive in the cracks, and all powerful people wanted to strangle it in the cradle. It grows and grows and becomes a towering tree. Although the side branches are inclined, it is difficult to shake. "

Now someone asks, "What is Chinese and what is English?"

I said, "It is a wonderful flower of Liangshan education. Although countless people can't agree with it or even criticize it, it is still difficult to give it up. Its success or failure has been related to the ups and downs of many people.

Once upon a time, we shouted, "Take advantage of China's entry into WTO and set off a wave of reform ..." On the beautiful title page of the first bilingual junior high school enrollment brochure, there was such a beautiful article written by one of my colleagues. Now studying, the lofty sentiments and ambitions of that year are still in my ears. I have imagined its perfect curtain call countless times, and everyone is happy. However, personal subjective assumptions can't replace reality after all. This wonderful flower of prosperity withered after completing the most beautiful bloom this summer, and its fragrance disappeared. I can't help thinking of my mother who just died. Isn't it? After taking care of her husband and educating her children for more than 40 years, when she was about to receive feedback, she chose to leave in that way. This may be the so-called "the tree wants to be quiet and the wind will not stop, and the child wants to raise it without waiting"! I often say: "It's better to die with a bang than to linger on;" It is better to leave resolutely than to live in peace. "This is a joke I played, but unfortunately it all turned into a prophecy.

"The building will fall, and it is difficult for a person to support it. The people of Sri Lanka have gone, and the soul is hard to find. " Feng Xiang, deputy director of the Propaganda Department of Beichuan County Committee who lost her beloved son in the earthquake, chose the same way as my mother to end her 29-year-old life, which made many people cry. In his last words, he wrote, "Son, without you, Dad has no future …" But now I have a future, but there is no way to go home. The pain in my heart is more painful than the heart and lungs, and it hurts into the bone marrow. In a word, in this July, there is endless cold around me. Maybe the winter of my life has arrived. There is no greater sadness in my heart than death, and everything is in silence. ...

"It is too hasty for flowers to wither in spring." In a blink of an eye, six years have passed, and the young man with a weak crown is near. Although his youth has passed away, it is still "Feng Tang is easy to get old, Li Guang is hard to seal." On this utilitarian stage, I will always be the lonely dancer, high and low, long-sleeved and dreamy. But no matter how hard you try, you are still narcissistic and self-pitying. At the end of the song, the audience was empty and lonely, and no one cheered! Perhaps tomorrow, this stage will become a historical term, drifting away, it took away my watery years, leaving mottled rings, premature fahua and sadness about fate.

"Life is like a play, and the play is like life". There are both excitement and expectation at the end, and there must be emptiness and depression at the end. Perhaps "hope doesn't matter, it doesn't matter"; Perhaps the end of an old era heralds the beginning of a new era; Maybe we can be born again in this fission. Buddha said, "One leaf, one bodhi, one flower and one world". I used to laugh at this nonsense, but now I want to cry.

Jiang Yan has a cloud: "Ecstasy, just left." As if Jacky Cheung's "Blessing" sounded in my ear, it was chilling and sad, and all the happiness and unhappiness were gathered in this long song. Although I am no longer young and strong, I still shed tears in this parting season and this parting moment. Goodbye, my mother; Goodbye, my Chinese and English; Goodbye, my dear colleagues; Goodbye, my lost youth forever.

In the future, someone will ask me, "What is Chinese and what is English?"

I would say, "It's just a legend ..."

Postscript: at the time of writing, Chinese and English, which have attracted much attention from all walks of life, have come back to life, and new junior one students have resumed enrollment. On the afternoon of July 6, in the scorching sun, there was a long queue on the Chinese and English campuses, which was the parents of freshmen who were paying fees. What can I say when I see the scene in front of me, except that I am tempted by nature? These two days, sometimes in hell, sometimes in heaven, sometimes in the sea, and sometimes in flames, everyone's mind has experienced a purgatory-like pain and torture, and everything in front of us is no less than a best ending for most of us. After all, this place bears too much of our youth and dreams. Sorrow can be the same as sorrow, joy can be the same as joy, and sorrow and joy can be described in words. This is my original intention. Although the future is still unknown, but life has to go on, I am still that lonely dancer, wandering on the edge of education ... (This book is on the shelf 20 10-7-7)

The same situation, the same mood, let everyone feel sad after reading it. After the resurrection, the Chinese-English school middle school moved to the experimental middle school campus, and we were just a boat drifting with the tide, temporarily docked in this harbor. Li Bo's boat may have experienced too many storms-from family, marriage and career. In the end, he couldn't support it, and his illness worsened, so he had to ask for leave to go home and rest. We once went to see him at his house and saw that he looked fine. Then everyone has their own life and their own troubles. Who has leisure to care too much about other people's lives? He gradually faded out of our sight. On 20 1 1 Mother's Day, Li Bo, who was ill at home, once again attracted everyone's attention. It's another article he posted in the bar-"Mother's Day Without Mothers":

It's May, the second Sunday. Although it has just rained, the streets are still filled with the fragrance of carnations. As usual, I bought a bunch and put it in front of my mother. Mom smiled brightly, but I shed tears. The people of Sri Lanka have gone, and only this ray of smile will stay here forever. Looking back on this day last year, my mother was still a vivid life, but now it has become a blurred image. Lonely in the world, yin and yang are separated forever. This may be the so-called "disaster comes from the mouth, and nature makes people"!

"All happy families are alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Mother's misfortune lies in paying too much and getting too little; Hope is perfect, but the reality is too cruel. If there was no room for a quiet desk at home ten years ago, it would be difficult to put down a calm heart at home ten years later. Once naive becomes smooth with age, once simple becomes sophisticated with rich experience. Home is no longer a shelter from the wind. The surface calm can't cover up the inner undercurrent. All kinds of selfish desires and distractions are hidden and long, eroding family ties in opposition, suspicion and infighting, which not only hurts others, but also consumes themselves. But the mother who lives in the cracks bears too much sadness and helplessness. She fantasized about saving those lost things through her tolerance and forbearance, but in the end it was all in vain. Long-term overwork, long-term bitterness and illness finally defeated the mother's will. She is no longer brave, strong, happy and sunny. She began to feel negative and afraid of everything, thus becoming pessimistic and desperate. She lives in a horrible atmosphere created by herself, living in fear. Finally one day, she chose to leave. I can't help but think of a sentence by Zhao Gang in The Sword: When a person's dignity is damaged, he can only choose to fight or die. Sometimes, death is also a struggle.

"If you don't report the spring, you will hurt an inch of grass, and you will shed blood and tears." I have nothing to say, and I have no face to say it. My mother gave me her love selflessly. She always cared about me before her death, but what did I do for her? When she was sick and needed the care and comfort of her family most, I chose to ignore and escape. Even many times, I didn't treat her as a patient, didn't provide her with the best medical and psychological counseling, didn't know her mood swings and changes in time, and didn't take necessary precautions against her possible extreme behavior. In this way, my mother left quietly, without any foresight or warning. I can't even bury my mother after she left. Now, she can only stay in the funeral home with Leng Yue and Liangfeng. Sometimes, I feel like my mother is plotting against her. Although she made meritorious deeds before her death, she died as light as a feather. The greatest tragedy in life is this.

Mother left, she lost her life, but she got the liberation and eternal life of her soul. And her departure took away the only warmth in this family and my love and persistence in life. In the lie that "the tree wants to be quiet, but the wind will not stop", I deceived others and myself. In my life, there is no ideal, no pursuit, no initial passion and motivation, only more and more anguish and hesitation, only the feeling and sadness of "I buried my mother today, and I will know who it is next year".

Winter passed and spring came. I spent the whole spring in a hospital bed. When I was seriously ill, I was so angry that I felt that my youth had been squandered and I was about to be freed like my mother. Schools, classrooms, students and history books have all drifted away, but suddenly they appear in front of us. "Riding the east wind of China's entry into WTO, we will set off a wave of reform ..." The lofty sentiments and ambitions of that year are still in my ears, and everything is like yesterday. On the road of life, some people and things can be fleeting, but some are unforgettable. People say, "A good horse never turns back." I admit that I am not a good horse because I always miss it.

Today is May 8th, the second Sunday in May. On this Motherless Mother's Day, I can only hold my mother's portrait in my hand and feel dejected, with tears in my eyes and blood in my heart. I think: If my mother knew from spring that "I was crying when I was crying ..." For a long time, I suddenly felt my body soaring upward, like sitting on a white cloud, and soon flew away from the noisy world and to a dreamlike paradise. At this moment, my mother is welcoming me with open arms. At that moment, she was so tall and beautiful. And I seem to get rid of the disease and become strong and vigorous, flashing around my mother and flying vigorously. If this is the reality, I would rather exchange my life; If this is a dream, I would rather sleep forever! Dad, dad, wake up. When I opened my eyes, it was my daughter's face as bright as a peach blossom. "I also got a hundred points in Chinese. The teacher said that I was the only one in our class this mid-term exam. Dad, when you are ready, take me to school, and I can do better in the exam. " My tears came out again ... (scheduled for 20 1 1-05-08)

Although the causes of the disease are different, it is undeniable that the death of mother is an important factor that aggravates the depression of Li Bo. However, I don't know how serious his illness is. Seeing that he said that he was "weak", he thought it was just an exaggeration of the literati. I have experienced the pain of losing my mother. I was deeply moved and wanted to comfort him, so I commented on this passage after the post:

"I dare not write a little text recently, because the ups and downs of my mood are hard to calm down. An unstable mood stems from an unstable life.

I often feel that life is meaningless recently. The length of life is extremely irrelevant, so why care about the quality of life? I'm more tired of worldly noise and pursue fame and fortune ... maybe my heart has dried up.

Today is Mother's Day, but for a person who has lost his mother for three years, a person whose heart is dead, and a person whose life is full of new troubles, how much emotion can this festival cause? Inadvertently browsing, I saw "Mother's Day without Mom" and knew that the author was a former colleague of mine. Cold heart, quietly ringing * * *, yes,' happy families are similar, each unhappy family has its own misfortune', we are all unfortunate people in life, no one is qualified to sympathize with anyone, so I quietly retired, in the corner of my heart, feel dejected.

People say that the loss of a teenager's mother, his wife in middle age and his children in old age are the three major misfortunes in life. However, I understand that whether you are an infant or a white-haired old age, losing your mother is the greatest pain in your heart and the greatest misfortune in life.

I don't want to write any more words to commemorate my mother, because it has no meaning except adding more sadness. The dead are gone, and the life of the living will continue, whether it continues to be wonderful or bad. "

After feeling, life has to go on. This article is just a pebble, thrown into everyone's heart lake, and the water lines aroused by it gradually disappear in the mechanical life day after day. After the summer vacation, Li Bo, who is in good health, also came back to class. Because of the lack of biology teachers, the school asked him to teach biology instead. I once lamented that his students were no longer lucky enough to enjoy his classroom history class. In less than two months, he became seriously ill and went home to recuperate again. Unexpectedly, this trip turned out to be a farewell forum.

It's been a year since I learned his new situation. When we were having dinner together after Teachers' Day in 20 12, a colleague said that he was very ill and could not do without oxygen, because I called him after reading an article he had just published. I found this post online at night, and my heart sank when I saw the topic:

The last Teacher's Day

Fish without water.

Li bo

I don't believe in the savior,

Nor rely on the immortal god,

I'm not superman,

Without steel,

I'm just a fish,

A fish without water,

Fall into the mire, dying.

Even if the whole world abandoned me,

I still face the sea,

Unswervingly

I'm not depressed at the death of my family.

In the near future,

I can still see my mother in heaven.

Friendship is far away, and I am not alone.

Disease, emptiness, sadness, despair,

Filled every blank in life.

I don't feel sorry for fate.

At least I have-

Oxygen bottles and diuretics,

These are two loyal partners,

One helps me to reduce swelling,

One helps me breathe,

With them,

Life is still romantic and poetic.

Although the three-foot platform is out of reach for me,

Although I can't carry a piece of chalk,

But in my dream, I went back to the classroom.

Is still a vertical and horizontal Wan Li,

Youth is invincible!

Maybe tomorrow,

I will die before dawn,

But by tonight,

I'm still watching miracles,

Because, my fragile life,

Not only themselves,

It also belongs to my little daughter, my old father,

Young brothers,

And the deep-rooted land under my feet.

If one day, I really leave quietly,

Please don't cry for me,

I am like a meteor,

Across the sky,

Light up the sky.

Like fireworks,

Bloom beautifully,

Leave a legend.

Last Teacher's Day? Fish without water? Shocking words make everyone afraid. Has it really come to this? No way, how can such a young and lively life fight against ailments? He will be fine, he will work and laugh with everyone! On Monday, everyone went to the hospital to see him. I can't go with him because I have a class. According to colleagues who came back, emphysema and heart failure are afflicting his 32-year-old youth, and he really can't live without oxygen. He was taking oxygen in the ward when he went, and his face was not very good. He is alone, without company.

This Teacher's Day poem was circulated on the Internet among the students taught by Li Bo. Students in Chinese and English schools are most grateful to their teachers. The students who have gone to college agreed to come back to visit him and their beloved teacher on National Day. I didn't expect this poem to become his masterpiece. September 12, 20 10 really became the "last teacher's day" for Li Bo!

A heavy snow covered up all the filth and ugliness in the world, leaving only a vast and pure white. The spell of the end of the world was broken, but our dearest comrade-in-arms was quietly taken away. According to an insider, 12 At 5: 30 am on February 23rd, Li Bo passed away forever. He couldn't give up his father and young daughter, but he was still awake at the moment he left, muttering to himself to give up the rescue, and a wisp of soul slowly drifted to Xiangxue country. In the snowy heaven, he should rest quietly, no more pain, no more pain and sorrow of parting, and no more so much disturbance in the real world. Leaving is a relief for the living who are full of pain!

On the day I said goodbye to him, I really didn't dare to face it, I couldn't bear to face it, and I was afraid I couldn't control it. I had to mourn him silently in the distance! Then, pray for him, pray that he can finally meet his mother in heaven, and pray that his soul can rest in peace after suffering on earth.

The soul died with the snow, and the sorrowful Li Bo "Who was buried?" Now, too many people remember him-students, colleagues, family and friends ... A message I posted on Weibo was circulated by many people that day, and every former student was blessing: Good luck, teacher! I think: everyone will not come and go alone, even without company, the world will remember every unique name.

In the face of dead life, besides lamenting its fragility and impermanence, will we have a thorough understanding in our hearts, so as to abandon too many selfish distractions and pursue too much fame and fortune and pay attention to life itself? Do you wake up in the morning, see the first ray of sunshine, think of the people who left, and be grateful that your life is still there? Do you underestimate the pain of being magnified? Have you let go of everything you have never forgotten? Being able to walk in this endless world is a kind of luck in itself; Being able to live a healthy and safe life is itself a kind of luck! Perhaps this is the immortal truth explained by Li Bo who lives at the expense of his life.

Mr. Lu Xun said: kind and dark mother earth, I would like to leave her soul in your arms! May you be in heaven, in the land of snow, Yong 'an.