Let's talk about shocking funny jokes! Seek the funniest! Give me dozens! Tell me a few more Xiaoming jokes! ! ! ! Interesting bonus points

1. In the middle of the night, there is no light in the toilet. You go to relieve yourself, fall into the toilet, fight maggots, compete with shit, no one saves you, die heroically, live a great life, and die silently. In memory of you, the toilet is equipped with lights! When you smile, the wolf will hang himself. When you scream, the chicken flies and the dog jumps. When you stop, that smell permeates your whole body. Lice is a disaster when you sweat. Uglier than a ghost when you're not dressed. As soon as you dress up, the ghost becomes paralyzed! How far is the thought, how far you roll; You can roll as fast as the speed of light As soon as you go out, there are no birds in the mountains and no footprints in the thousands of roads. Look at you, handsome, charming, everyone loves you, and a hundred flowers blossom. You must be the best among scum and animals, and according to my observation, you must have been short of calcium since childhood, but when you grew up, your grandmother didn't hurt, and your uncle didn't love you. The left face owes pumping, and the right face owes kicking. The donkey saw the donkey kicking, and the pig saw the pig stepping. You said you, grandpa, I taught you to practice sword, and you practiced sword, but you didn't practice sword, so you practiced lowly! Jin Jian doesn't practice, practice lewd! It is wrong to give you a sword fairy, but if you don't do it, you have to cry like a knight errant! Really, why bother? ! "The holiday is coming, send you a pair of couplets:

Part 1: A tree without skin will definitely die.

The second part: shameless people are invincible in the world.

Horizontal criticism: man is invincible.

China didn't learn so many weapons, but you learned the sword;

Go to the sword, but don't learn the sword;

There are so many moves in the sword that you are drunk with learning the sword;

Learn silver sword instead of iron sword!

Finally, you became a martial arts stunt: drunken silver sword!

Finally, we can achieve the unity of man and sword-swordsman.

A person is cheap all his life, a pig is cheap, a knife is wasted alive, the air is wasted when it dies, the land at home is wasted, and RMB is wasted.

,

Fall in love with you wholeheartedly;

I have a crush on you twice;

Come to you three times and five times;

No one around you is pestering you;

Five roses for you;

Six gods want to see you;

Let you go up and down;

Nine out of nine of you are beautiful;

Abandon you in ten days.

Smoking is good for your health, gambling practices your mind, shaking your head without worry, fighting and practicing your hands and feet, robbing and practicing long-distance running, eating without eating, saving money and loving.

Some girls go against the sky without soaking; If there is a girl, pick up the girl and do justice for heaven.

3 novels and comic games can't be abandoned. Examination is a magic weapon for teachers.

Basketball, football and billiards should be unreserved. Scores are the lifeblood of students.

English physical geography, all ignored. Copy copy, our unique skill.

Chinese, math and chemistry, I will never learn again. Fight, king of parents.

The students nowadays are really poor. Modern teachers have high martial arts.

Cry and laugh. Everyone can throw darts.

Always late for class every day. Teaching is a magic weapon.

Don't shout for a report when you are late. It's either homework or exams.

Cheating in exams has a knack. Discipline in the class is better.

You can peek, you can copy. No talking, no laughing.

Everyone likes Wei Xiaobao. Students dare to shout.

It is skillful to play tricks on teachers. Call his parents at once.

College life, boring, getting up early and going to bed late, sleepy and tired;

When the bell rings, it lifts the hot quilt; Queue up for exercise, wash and queue up;

Race against time to clean up the quilt; Breakfast steamed bread is disgusting;

One or two classes, sleepy; After class, stand up and prepare;

Running wildly, queuing in the toilet; No matter how fast you run, there is still no place;

Three or four classes, gastrointestinal meeting; Stretch and fall asleep;

Daydreaming, time is wasted; The professor asks questions and knows nothing;

Daily self-study, bragging about the party; Glue envelopes, everything;

Final exam, cheating and persuasion; Hell on earth, I have a deep understanding;

Life on weekends is really boring; It is better to go to bed early than to go to an open-air movie;

Call, no chance; Current affairs conference, pure suffering;

Slightly insufficient, punishment; The geese are separated, so tired of love;

Love is heartbreaking; Tianya Fangcao, exquisite jade;

Dream lover, no chance to meet; First love, flying high with others;

Pursue in vain; The sky is roaring and there are five kinds of libraries;

Infatuation, teetering; Flowers a month ago, not my generation;

The stars are all over the sky, accompanied by pens; Four years of youth have been wasted;

Graduation assignment, see you in the factory; Want to come to college, have psychological preparation;

When I arrived at the university, I suddenly regretted it; It's too late to regret, a lifetime of negligence ...

The handsome boy in our class turned around and scared a cow to death by the roadside.

As soon as the handsome boy in my class turned around, all the girls jumped off the building.

The handsome boy in our class turned three times, and the Yellow Crane Tower was flooded by the Yangtze River.

The handsome boy in our class turned four times, and Halley's comet hit the earth.

The handsome boy in our class turned five times and knocked down a row of teaching buildings.

The handsome guy in my class turned around six times, and the oilman sold soy sauce.

The handsome boy in our class turned seven times, and Jordan never scored again.

Once upon a time there was a Aaron Kwok,

Andy Lau and A Mei live in it.

The day after they finished eating Mavis Fan,

Go to Stephen Chow to drink water,

Suddenly it blew to Nicholas Tse,

A Nicky Wu emerged from the water.

Nicky Wu controls Ekin Cheng,

Riding a Ka Kui Wong,

Took A Mei away;

Andy Lau holds Emil Wakin Chau,

Stepping on Deric Wan,

Across Zhao Benshan,

Through Rosamund Kwan,

Skip Pan Changjiang,

Let A Mei come back,

Back in Aaron Kwok,

Hanging a flag in the city,

Call Richie Jen!