A joke that amuses girls.

1. A mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day. A nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?" The mental patient jumped up and shouted, "What's the matter with you? Can't you see that the fish tank is empty? " 2. "You see I am as strong as a bull, because I eat beef every day." "Really, but I eat fish every day. Why can't I swim now? " 3. Let's chat: Where there is water, there should be fish. Lao Li: I don't think so. Is there any fish in the open bottle? 4. "section chief, I sent you some fat and big carp." "Oh, it's the company's rectification. I can't accept this fish." "Then I'll give it to your wife!" "I can't control this, she is a mass." 5. "Hey, why did you pour the medicine into the lake?" "I want to feed the fish some appetizers. The fish here have a bad appetite and don't eat the bait I made with sesame oil. " 6. My classmate is plump and likes singing. He sings Richie Jen's song while washing clothes: "I am a fish …" I occasionally laugh: "How can there be such a fat fish like you?" He said with a straight face, "haven't you seen dolphins?" ! "7. Sleeping in class: A student sleeps in class and is found by the teacher. Teacher: "Why do you sleep in class?" A student: "I didn't sleep!" " "Teacher:" Then why do you close your eyes? "A student:" I'm closing my eyes! ""Teacher: "Then why do you nod?" A student: "What you just said is very reasonable!" " "Teacher:" Then why are you drooling? A student: "teacher, you speak with relish!" One day, the cow gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Cow scolds: What a donkey, male left and female right! 2. Seven years after graduation, I finally accepted a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, with a construction period of two months and a cost of 300,000 yuan, but I had to pay for it myself. It was finally finished at the end of last year. Today, people went to check and accept, and they were scolded to death, and they still had no money. ! The drawings are upside down, and people are going to dig wells! A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. One of them passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two! 5. The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours later. The snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was in a hurry to scold: if I don't come back, I will die! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you said I wouldn't go! 6. Someone keeps a pig, and hates and dislikes it, but the pig knows the way back, and it is useless to dislike it. One day, he drove a lot of cars and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, "Is the pig coming back?" Answer: "I have come back!" " It growled, "put it on the phone, I'm lost!" 7. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant's nest, and the ant crawled on the elephant. The elephant shook its body and the ants fell down. At this time, there was another elephant around its neck, and the fallen ant shouted "strangle it". 8. One morning in computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed, and our platoon was all dead." At this time, many students said, "We are dead, too." Then the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up and said, "I'm not dead yet!" " "The teacher said strangely," the whole class is dead. Why don't you die? "9. Before eating peanuts, monkeys should put peanuts in their buttocks before taking them out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey is afraid. You must measure it before eating now. 10, sophomore, girls in the dormitory all like Emil Wakin Chau's songs, and a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked: Where is my Emil Wakin Chau? The girl in the lower bunk replied, It's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone fell on the bed. Joke content 3 1: Sleeping in class: A student sleeps in class and is found by the teacher. Teacher: "Why do you sleep in class?" A student: "I didn't sleep! ""Teacher: "Then why do you close your eyes?" A student: "I'm closing my eyes!" " "Teacher:" Then why did you nod? "A student:" What you just said is very reasonable! " "Teacher:" Then why are you drooling? " A student: "teacher, you speak with relish!" " Two: I am happy to think that all the children are afraid of me, but my wife later said: Only you are the most obedient and obedient at home! Go and buy me a bag of salt. Three: Once upon a time, there were two people, one named Zhuang and the other named Xiao, who disappeared one day. Zhuang happened to see a group of people fighting, so he went to Bala and said, I'm looking for Xiao! The gang paused and said, are you faking it? Yes, I am! Four: The mother called her son to get up again: Jacques, good boy, it's time to get up. You have heard the cock crow several times. What does it have to do with me? I am not a hen. Five: The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the shit pulled by the gibbon. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. People ask how they are together. Chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit! Husband holding an orchid bowl said solemnly to his wife, "You can't break the bowl again. This bowl was left by your mother. There are only two left at present, and the others have been left behind by you. " The wife gave her husband a white look and said, "Then don't be angry with me in the future. I was dumped by my mother, too, leaving me alone. " Seven: I have four children, all very naughty. One day, I came home from work and the children were quarrelling at home. My wife was very happy to see me back and said, you finally came back. That's great. I am very happy to think that the children are afraid of me. Unexpectedly, my wife later said: only you are the most obedient and obedient at home! Go buy me a bag of salt. Eight: it was love at first sight, but it started at the sight of color; The so-called long-term love is just weighing the pros and cons. The so-called buddies are the best, but they are just arrogant. The so-called sisters are the biggest waves, but they are only pretending. Have a good time. Nine: Khrushchev visited the farm, and the reporter took a photo of him and the pig in the pigsty. The next day, I saw a postscript in the newspaper: the third from the left is Comrade Khrushchev. Ten: Children are thinking about "heredity and environment". Mom interjected: This question is very simple. As we all know, children who look like their fathers are inherited. Like neighbors, that is the environment.