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Beginning of spring: I don't want to have love in this city.
One,
When you are torn to pieces by life, will you shake hands with life at some point in the future?
I have always felt that young artists nowadays really don't look like compliments. Most of the responses I have heard about young artists are: "You are a young artist, and your whole family is a young artist!"
Literary youth seems to represent a persistence, a persistence in dreams regardless of reality.
Don't think that dreams are two bad words. It's about a person's inner persistence. In fact, everyone has an uncompromising self in their hearts.
Later, however, in order to survive, many people chose to hide their intransigence.
Maybe compromise will make his life better.
After reading "beginning of spring", many people will unconsciously feel sorry for the older literary young women. In the eyes of most people, the realization of a woman's life maximization and all her efforts are for marriage.
If you can't get married, then all your efforts may be regarded as a joke after dinner by others.
Wang Cailing can't get married. Her mother said that rumors often spread to her ears.
But for a long time, Wang Cailing never felt sorry for herself. She only feels sorry for the people around her, and she doesn't feel like a joke, because she always has a feeling that she doesn't belong in Baotou and will go out sooner or later.
But I just hope she can't get out and won't compromise.
Wang Cailing thinks that spring is her hope. She often says spring like this: "Every year when spring comes, my heart is always ready to move, thinking that something will happen;" But spring has passed and nothing has happened. I feel as if I have missed something. "
Spring is the representative of hope in her eyes. She hoped for change, hoped for hope, but every time, she missed it.
Second,
Baotou is a small and industrial city in the north of China, and it is not rich. It was a small county in the 1980s. At the beginning of reform and opening up, people were still struggling to eat and wear warm clothes. As an industrial city engaged in steel, it happened that some people wanted to engage in art.
If a place is really not enough to carry your dreams, then leave, and keep accumulating strength in order to leave, but don't give up in the process.
Why did you have a dream about art? If not, maybe you won't have to struggle in this contradiction between dream and reality.
Maybe it's a gift. I want to turn my gift into something that makes me look unique.
Before my ideal died, I always felt different. This illusion has become all the confidence to live.
Wang Cailing is really ugly, with big buck teeth and acne all over her face. When she spoke, her teeth seemed to run out of her mouth, but because of her natural voice, she was quite lofty.
She doesn't necessarily like the way she holds it, and she doesn't want to live in a world of repeating lies. She keeps talking about her Beijing, but she also knows that she never belongs to Beijing.
The money to buy a Beijing hukou is all her savings, and she doesn't despair or want to be cheated.
But she must go to Beijing. If she stays in Baotou, when can she sing her dream Paris Opera House? She can't keep Baotou, Baotou can't hold her, and gossip is enough to drown her.
Small places are not better than big cities. If you are too out of place, you have to have the courage to bear the unique price.
Wang Xiaobo wrote a pig: "I am forty years old. Except this pig, I have never seen anyone dare to ignore the setting of life so much. On the contrary, I have met many people who want to set someone else's life, and people who are comfortable with the set life. For this reason, I have always missed this maverick pig. "
This maverick pig is cool, but lonely. Don't always say that loneliness makes people strong. Loneliness may also make a person afraid of life before he is really strong.
Her lofty, but trying to maintain their self-esteem.
Third,
In that place in Baotou, there must be many people who pity Wang Cailing. She has no friends or lovers, and she is still ugly, and there is no one around who knows how warm and cold she is.
Just like the female neighbor next door, before her husband abandoned her, she really became the envy of many women.
She has no dreams and doesn't understand literature and art. She is surrounded by a man who takes care of and loves her, leads a stable life and runs a marriage honestly.
This is the life suitable for Baotou, but with what, she must be happier than Wang Cailing?
When her husband moved all their property and disappeared quietly, she had nothing.
I like an interpretation of freedom very much: "The so-called freedom is sometimes not just what you want to do. Sometimes, when you don't want to do anything, you do nothing."
Wang Cailing's life is her own choice.
She may not be unable to fall in love in this city. Wang Cailing said, "I don't want to fall in love in this city." Once love happens, it means stability, which means that you may live in this place for a lifetime.
When you haven't taken care of yourself, don't think about taking care of another person and taking care of a home.
Zhou Yu of the steel plant is one of Wang Cailing's pursuers, and the way to pursue her is quite ingenious. She is a disciple and is willing to pursue her with things she is not good at.
But it is not suitable for young literary women who pretend to be honest and honest steel workers. That doesn't fit, and there's nothing to talk about mentally.
Or Huang introduced her to and took advantage of her.
Zhou Yu wanted to borrow Huang's story to go further with Wang Cailing, but she didn't ask her when she entered the door. Huang, who was playing with a paper cup stuck with pictorial on the playground, suddenly fell into Wang Cailing's eyes.
Looking at Four Treasures of the Study through the glass, there may be a smile on her face that she didn't realize.
Huang Hua Wang Cailing said: "One can escape. As long as you see someone leaving the city with a bag, you envy him wherever you go. "
Leave here and flee to a place where you can fly your dreams.
Fourth,
Wang Cailing once again set foot on the bus to Beijing. No matter what happens in Beijing, she will brag when she returns to the small county.
After going to Beijing and the theater, the person in charge said, "We will never get in. Don't even think about it. "
Too eager to be accepted by Beijing, she stood there singing alone, but not all loneliness can be appreciated. They all think they are very powerful, but in fact, in the eyes of others, that's all.
Wang Cailing cried and knelt on the stairs of the theater, wondering why she was so cruel to her.
She said that she loves art, but in fact, her love is not so pure. She is obsessed with the good voice given by God, so she hopes that opera can bring her everything except art, fame and fortune and secularity, and help her escape from the town.
Ability is not worthy of dreams, but I don't want to fall into the secular world, so it is very painful.
In the evening, Huang He came back drunk again, and they slept.
After waking up, Huang was very angry. He felt that he had been defiled by Wang Cailing. In fact, Huang may really not be an artistic person. He can't accept Wang Cailing, probably because of her ugliness.
It's just that Wang Cailing is regarded as a kind of comfort to the failure in the repeated failure of applying for the exam.
When people are particularly miserable, they always want to find someone who is worse off than themselves.
After Huang left, he joined the tide of reform and opening up and went to sea.
Wang Cailing, who was hit again, was wearing a gorgeous singing costume and wanted to jump off the building. With an almost solemn heart, she wants to die. Unexpectedly, I broke my arm and leg and moved on.
She went back, back to Baotou.
Wang Cailing, who is making instant noodles, said to Zhou Yu, who came to confess, "I would rather eat a basket of fresh peaches than a basket of rotten apricots."
She has been living in her own weakness, but only such unreal weakness can give her hope to continue.
Five,
Ballet and opera should exist in the stage and theater, but what happened in the street?
Hu Jinquan danced his own ballet confidently, but the onlookers left one by one, and the sneer on his face had not completely disappeared. Art is in the eyes of ordinary people. Isn't that a joke?
Wang Cailing finally found her own kind, a kind of mutual understanding.
Hu Jinquan is too painful. This is the purest youth in the three counties who loves art and regards ballet as their life.
He can't hold on. He is fed up with this life of being laughed at as a shemale. Even if he wants to take his mother for a walk, she will cover her face with a hat.
He prayed that Wang Cailing could fake marriage with him, but was rejected: "I am the cannon fodder, not you. You are out of tune with secular life. I just don't want to be mediocre. One day, I really can't hold on. I just bite my teeth and find someone to marry, forget it. "
Hu Jinquan walked in the snow, tears of unconsciousness could not be suppressed.
In order to prove that he is a man, he once worked as a hooligan.
Even in prison, wearing reform-through-labour shoes, he would stand on tiptoe to dance ballet. I don't know how many people cried in this toe dance.
He completed his insistence on art in a way that was almost self-destructive. Real artists are mostly lonely.
Wang Cailing went home for the New Year. It turned out that she only came from a poor family, even in the countryside. No wonder she became a laughing stock. I wonder if her father would support her if he could talk.
Mother said, "Our small place is no better than a big city. You must do as the Romans do. " So, just want to leave, she can't compromise.
The female neighbor said to her, "I think you'd better find someone to marry." You can't be single all your life. "
"Being single has the advantage of being single."
"I don't believe there are people in the world who want to be single. This is the last resort. You haven't met anyone who loves you. When you do, you won't be single. Living alone will cause problems. "
The female neighbor is kind, but this kind is not what Wang Cailing wants.
The arrival of Gao Beibei completely tore Wang Cailing's dream and made her walk out of her own lies. Finally, she wants to shake hands with the secular.
She didn't get her Beijing hukou, so she gave the girl the 12 thousand she got back. The girl's dream is round, but she is desperate: "It is too difficult to be famous."
Finally, she adopted a little girl abandoned by her parents and took her daughter for surgery. She is also a beautiful little girl. In front of Tiananmen Square, her mother and daughter stopped singing opera and sang popular children's songs. Finally, she has a new sustenance and is willing to change a happy way.
In the end, she still didn't fall in love with the city. ...
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