Why do some parents give their children their surnames?

The dispute over children's surnames has a long history, especially in recent 10 years. Some families will be unhappy in their marriage life because of this contradiction, and even their marriage will break down.

A few days ago, a man in Hangzhou divorced because of the surname of his child and his wife. The incident was widely known.

The man has always been very unhappy about his son taking his wife's surname, so he sued for divorce. After mediation by the court, the two parties reached an agreement: the child is raised by the father, and the woman does not have to bear the maintenance fee, but she needs to cooperate with the formalities of changing her son's surname to the father, otherwise she will have to pay a penalty of 654.38 million yuan. Later, the man appealed to the court, claiming that the woman did not cooperate to change her son's surname and asked him to pay liquidated damages. The court finally ruled that the woman should pay liquidated damages.

The court's decision is worthy of recognition. From a legal point of view, if the woman does not fulfill the relevant obligations, she will not have this "right to crown her surname".

There are many similar examples, most of which have been solved through communication and coordination, but there are still many unknown stories.

Some time ago, after the news that @papi sauce children followed their father's surname came out, some netizens sneered at her and even swore at her. Some people even criticized that papi sauce has always been false to independent women, but as independent women, they did not attach importance to the rights of crowns and surnames.

This is hard to understand, but it just shows that many people will or have faced the problem of naming rights.

In the eyes of god, first of all, this matter is someone else's family affair, and we have no right to interfere; Secondly, women's independence is not necessarily related to their children's surnames; Thirdly, she is actually very wise, because she may see the deeper reasons why children take their father's surname.

Why is this happening?

This is a real problem faced by many families, so why does this phenomenon occur frequently? On reflection, it is not difficult to find two reasons.

1, the "sequela" of the only child era

The implementation of the one-child policy has its historical reasons, and we can't deny the achievements of this policy. But things must have two sides and many bad effects, and this phenomenon is one of them.

If there are brothers and sisters in the woman's family, children are generally not required to follow motherhood after marriage, and some of them are for the sake of the harmony and stability of marriage, but on the whole, this is wise.

2. "Pseudo-feminism" is rampant.

Speaking of women's rights, God reminds me of such a joke:

American women's rights: women are not allowed to do this job? You are discriminating against women!

Women's Rights in China: You let women do this job? You are discriminating against women!

Although the statement is a little extreme, it conforms to the thinking of a small number of "pseudo-feminist" women.

Fifty years ago, the status of women was not so high. At that time, there was a general concept about women's marriage: "Find a shoulder to lean on" and "Find a shoulder to lean on".

But now that women's status has improved significantly, women are more looking forward to equality between men and women, but there are still a few women who may still have this concept of mate selection. This led to the emergence of "pseudo-feminism".

Some women only know how to rob men of their rights, but they don't perform their duties and obligations. They often demand equality between men and women in front of interests, but they don't think so in front of responsibilities.

True women's rights should be the equality of personal dignity, not the equality and balance of impossible division of labor brought by nature!

Feminism advocates that children follow their mothers because of the low status of women in a patriarchal society, hoping to fight for naming rights and reduce the possibility of abortion before birth and abandonment after birth. Because of this, God is in favor of this practice.

The root of the dispute over the surname of a child.

Who should the child be named after? There are different views from different angles, and these views are also reasonable.

1, with father's surname

Most men in China are still deeply influenced by traditional ideas. On the one hand, they think this is a rule handed down by their ancestors. Since it is handed down from the ancestors, it is natural to respect it, and it is natural for children to take their father's surname.

On the other hand, it is not excluded that under the existing social environment, most men still have the idea of "male chauvinism". If children follow motherhood, their hearts will be very unbalanced.

Most women may support this traditional concept to some extent, which is also the reason why this contradiction is not common.

Step 2 follow your mother

From the feminist point of view, this is understandable, because the law gives us this right. The marriage law stipulates that children can take their father's surname or their mother's surname. This is all legally recognized. There is no distinction between the two, and they are treated equally in law.

However, a person's solution to the problem of who the child's surname is is really too simple and rude, which makes people think very hard!

God tease may be more inclined to support children to take their father's surname, which does not rule out these reasons from the perspective of men, but it is more based on some deeper reasons!

The deep reason why children take their father's surname.

What is the underlying reason for children to take their father's surname? In a sense, giving men the right to name is to let men participate more in the process of raising children.

1, the role of parents in family education.

Under normal circumstances, the main performance of the mother's role is tenderness and kindness, delicate feelings, caring and considerate, and sensibility is greater than rationality. Mother is a warm harbor for children and the main role of children's emotional communication. Based on the mother's nature, a mother can sacrifice everything for her children, and this kind of love cannot be surpassed by any kind of emotion.

The performance of the father's role is: strong and brave, masculine and decisive, rational thinking, courage to take responsibility, courage to challenge, not afraid of setbacks. These characteristics are obviously different from those of mothers, and they are highly complementary.

2. The father's participation in the process of raising children.

I have to admit that the role of father in children's growth is not as great as that of mother. The real emotional intersection between father and son is generally less than half or even one third of that of mother.

Although women's status has improved, their economic ability has also made great progress. In families with good economic conditions, fathers can have more time and energy to accompany their children. Father's participation has increased slightly, but it is still far less than mother's!

This is an indisputable fact, and many foreign professional institutions have done relevant statistics and research. This is consistent with the performance of all male animals in nature, and we can't pursue this equality too much, because it may have its natural laws and inevitability.

3. Give the father the right of "crown surname" or enhance his participation.

After tens of thousands of years of evolution, human society has formed different roles of parents in the family, ensuring the stable and harmonious operation of the family and the healthy development of children's minds.

According to relevant surveys, children who grew up in a single mother's family environment are obviously lacking in personality independence, social interaction and personal responsibility, and the lack of fatherly love leads to the lack of male character education. The existence of single mothers raising children alone is much more than that of single fathers, which is based on maternal instinct and the father's innate "irresponsibility".

Father's participation is lower than that of mother, and father is extremely important in the growth of children. Giving the father the right of surname promotes his participation in family education to some extent.

China has stood in the world for thousands of years, which proves that our culture is excellent and the wisdom of our ancestors is unparalleled. Ancestors gave men the right to take their surnames, not only to safeguard male power, but also for this reason.

Based on the above reasons, God teases people that giving fathers the right to name has its special significance and deeper reasons. Although this reason may not increase the participation of fathers too much, if it is not, it may make irresponsible fathers more and more irresponsible.

Write it at the end

Having said that, whose name should the child be named after?

Surname has its inheritance significance, and in a sense, it is a symbol of property inheritance. Sometimes, the child's surname is the main symbol of inheriting family property.

The only-child era has produced more women as family heirs, and it is also a common phenomenon that women have better economic conditions than men. It seems reasonable for women with better material conditions to ask for the right of crown surname.

But we can't always justify ourselves, because it's not just surnames that determine the inheritance of property, and we can't think that whoever has more money should take his surname. This concept is impossible. We can't all be surnamed Ma.

If the couple can reach a consensus, that's it, but if the man cares too much about the right to be named, it will make his life unhappy and even end his marriage, it's not worth it!

These contradictions are not irreconcilable for the sake of family harmony and stability, and for the sake of children growing up in a complete family environment.

Should children's opinions be respected if they cannot be reconciled? One day children will be able to decide for themselves.

Finally, there are many ways to improve fathers' participation in children's family education. Giving fathers the right to "name" is one of them, but it is by no means all! We can have this idea, but we can't use it as an excuse. Being a qualified father is the key!