A joke that makes you laugh every minute

1. When my money was blown away by the wind when I was a child, I always liked to throw another piece of money to see where the wind would blow. If you're lucky, you can still find it. Bad luck, money is lost one after another, this is a bloody lesson!

2. I have been with my girlfriend for a year. Sometimes I really want to ask her a question: You shamelessly wanted to be with me last year. Did you know in advance that the price of pork would increase this year?

3. When I was a kid, I listened to "The Girl Opposite Look Over" and I thought it was nothing, it just sounded good. Until I now have a girlfriend, I think of that sentence again: I thought and thought, I guessed and guessed, girls’ thoughts are really strange!

Four. Woman: Today’s technology is so advanced that it all has the blink-of-an-eye payment function. Man: That function is of no use to you. Woman: Why is it useless? Man: Have you ever spent money to blink your eyes?

5. I have a younger sister who is born in 2000. Her QQ signature is: I have no idea who you are shedding these hypocritical tears for. And here’s what I

posted as a post-90s generation: Today’s potato pancakes are really delicious. Am I out of touch with society?

6. It’s Double Eleven soon

On the night of

the 10th. Please turn on your and your wife's or girlfriend's mobile phones, log in to Alipay, and enter the wrong password

three times, so that the world will be quiet. God’s reply: The calm before the storm? It’s scary to think about it!

7. I used to wonder when the price of beef would be the same as that of pork. Now it is almost the same price. I used to think about when the house would be the price of cabbage. Now that I think about it, I might as well forget it. Afraid of not being able to afford cabbage!

8. Since I got the P-picture software, my waist is no longer thick, my face is no longer fat, my dark circles are gone, and my face is no longer dark. Hey, I really deserve our face!

10. I heard from a friend that his younger brother was knocked out in a car accident

Qi Mi was unhurt because he had a big schoolbag on his back. His younger brother said that this was his first time For the first time, I feel that reading is useful and knowledge changes destiny.

11. When male and female friends sleep together, the woman draws a line: those who cross the line are beasts. When she woke up and found that the man had really failed, the woman slapped the man hard: You are worse than a beast.

12. My girlfriend said to me: "From now on, you can just do the washing and cooking. I will make money to support you!" I was extremely excited: "Okay, okay! Then what do you do to make money?" "My girlfriend said: "Open a restaurant or a laundry..."

13. My work is like a concubine competing for favor, eager to serve me, but I have been diligent and caring for the people since I came to the court. My heart was focused on space and I didn't even take a step into the harem.

14. "Why are you chasing stars?" "Because Kuafu who chased the sun is dead, and Chang'e who chased the moon was imprisoned in Guanghan Palace, so for safety reasons I can only chase stars." ”

15. Today, my brother asked me a question from the primary school grade. I glanced at it and asked him to get me a glass of water, and then quickly searched Baidu... Mathematics is so scary now.

16. It’s bullshit that boys who play football and boys who play basketball are handsome. As long as you are handsome, you can play shuttlecock and be handsome. If you are ugly, you can’t do anything.

Seventeen. What kind of TV are we watching? At the end, the hero and heroine get married, and the TV series ends. What does this mean? Explanation: As soon as you get married, there will be no future.

Eighteen. The athlete missed the shot five times in a row

. The coach scolded: "Idiot, look at me!" The coach made five shots

He said, "Did you see it? That's how you shot just now."

"

19. My girlfriend was not in a good mood a few days ago. She suddenly asked me: "Do you still remember what I said to you that time? "Which time?" "You really don't remember, huh!" ”

Two

Ten. If a boy is handsome, he will be called funny if he can chat, but if he is not calm, he will be called mature if he has high emotional intelligence, and he will be called cute if he has low emotional intelligence. If he is average-looking, he will be called cute if he can chat. Calling a dog a licker will not call a straight man a cancer, having a high EQ is called being sleek and sophisticated, and having a low EQ is called naive. It can be seen that the most effective way to win a girl's favor is to be handsome!