Who can tell a joke to make me laugh for 5 minutes?

1. A friend of mine is an intern in China Unicom. One day, an old man came up and said, "Can you get me a mobile card?" Then the friend said without looking up, "Master, someone is coming to smash the venue!" " You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world to find you, and I went through a lot of hardships to find you: TMD! Our wings are on the same side! An American, a German, a Japanese and an American are sitting on a plane. Halfway through, the plane suddenly ran out of gas. The captain announced that someone had to jump off the plane to reduce the weight, so the American went to the hatch of the plane with his heroism and shouted: Long live the United States and other countries! ! Then I jumped! The plane continued to fly ... then the captain announced: the weight is still too heavy, and one person has to jump! So the Germans stood up, walked to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live the German Empire! Jumped down, too The plane continued to fly ... at this moment, the captain announced: no, it's still heavy, and one more person must jump! China glanced at the Japanese, stood up and walked to the hatch of the plane. The Japanese rushed to hold China's hand: Good brother, I won't forget you! The people of China shouted: Long live the people and country of China! ! Then I kicked the Japanese down with one foot! 4. On the bus that day, a beautiful girl suddenly shouted to a gentle white boy, "Rogue!" The young man seems dishonest. The young man was very wronged and immediately refuted. The two sides began to quarrel. Later, I heard the girl scold: "You are a big hooligan, and you have been a hooligan since you were a child. Your mother just gave birth to you, so don't forget to look back. " After listening to it, the passengers were silent for a while, and then burst into laughter. Colleagues shook their heads and said that swearing can be so ugly for the first time. This is really a curse, and no one can beat him. After the boy was scolded, his mouth was open and he couldn't say a word. After listening to this, we all lamented that this curse is really an eternal curse, probably unprecedented, and it is said that there is really no malicious swearing to fight back. At this moment, I suddenly heard the man say loudly, "You are the big rascal! You are still in your mother's belly, just go and see your father three times a day! " Hearing this, everyone fainted.