No one will feel sorry for a woman who is too strong, right?

If you compare a home to a hospital, the husband is a doctor, and the wife should be a midwife; if you compare a home to a volleyball team, the husband is the main attacker and the wife is the setter. Think of a family as a government. The husband is undoubtedly the head of the government, and the wife is the chief of staff. Of course, a smart woman will also serve as the minister of foreign affairs. At that time, Soong Meiling was the foreign minister beside Chiang Kai-shek. With her fluent English and good conversation, Soong Meiling stood on the podium of the U.S. Congress and helped the Chinese government, which was in internal and external difficulties at the time, to win a large amount of U.S. aid for the anti-Japanese war. The final victory of the war laid a rich material foundation.

There is a joke that everyone must have heard. On the highway, the Clintons' car broke down. At this time, a gas station worker came up and Hillary whispered quietly: "Honey, he She was my first love." Clinton smiled proudly: "It's a good thing you didn't marry him, otherwise you wouldn't have become the first lady." Hillary replied calmly: "No, if I had married him, he would have become the United States. President." From the outside, this joke seems to illustrate the truth: smart women should be good at being midwives and play an indispensable role in a man's success. If midwives in the hospital help doctors give birth to children, midwives in life inspire men's fighting spirit and help men move toward a glorious career.

If the husband is Liu Bei, Li Shimin, or Zhu Yuanzhang, and the wife is Zhuge Liang, Wei Zheng, or Liu Bowen, the woman who stands behind the man to make suggestions and give guidance is the truly smart woman. On the contrary, if women all want to be Cao Cao , if the husband becomes Emperor Xian of the Han Dynasty, then the family will not be far away from falling apart. No self-respecting man likes his wife to overstep her authority and monopolize power, let alone a domineering empress dowager who sits at home all day long.

If a woman wants to be Cixi, she must first see if her husband is Guangxu? What's more, Guangxu wanted to take back the power from Lafayette through the Reform Movement of 1898, but his resistance failed and was suppressed.

Some people may disagree that your view is too patriarchal! Why should a man be a doctor and a woman be a midwife? Can't women and men be equals and go hand in hand?

I think two people can work together in the same boat in career, but in the division of labor in the family, no one can make the final decision. Merson-Ergerich pointed out: "There cannot be two masters in a family, otherwise the marriage will only end in failure. Having both masters is one of the main reasons for the breakdown of many families today. In fact, no one in these failed families can make the final decision." People. There must be someone in the family who can stand up and speak out. Therefore, the Bible clearly states that the wife should hand over the responsibilities of the family to the husband. ”

The husband is the head of the family, which does not mean that the wife should be the head of the family. If he is always aloof, you need to be humble to him. It means that he needs to take responsibility in the family. When a man has more power in the family, he is actually given more responsibilities. Power and obligations often complement each other.

When choosing a mate, women want to find a strong man, and no one wants to find a loser or a soft-boiled person. If you take care of everything at home, but he does nothing, over time, he will only become alienated from the family. In the emotional counseling I received, I often see such a division of labor model in the family: the wife is very strong and is the leader inside and outside, while the husband is submissive and obeys orders. Later, the husband eats, drinks, poops, sleeps, etc. He couldn't even get a word in, and in the end he just became a hands-off shopkeeper who was just enjoying himself. When a wife who worked day and night chose to divorce her husband, she told me: Instead of raising a useless man, it would be better to raise a dog!

This reminds me of an old saying, "The husband sings and the wife follows." The Chinese have used the four words "the husband sings and the wife follows" since ancient times to describe the way husband and wife get along. A harmonious family relationship is obviously with the husband as the leader and the wife as the leader. Secondly, this is not a feudal poison of patriarchal ideology, but in line with the scientific concept of development. The family is like a big mountain. A man should be the tiger in the mountain, the undoubted "king of the mountain." If his wife is a strong woman, she must also strive to be the "tigress of the mountain." There is room for two tigers, even one male and one female. The husband is like a castrated rooster, looking at each other with indifferent eyes all day long. There is no trace of love and affection, only depression and indifference.

For a while, in some emotional programs, I often encountered the kind of family combination where the woman is strong and the man is weak: the wife is strong and the husband is weak; their roles as husband and wife are undoubtedly reversed in their married life: The wife speaks her mind at home, but is not happy, because in her eyes, the husband is a good-for-nothing loser. As a result, the stronger the wife is, the more dissatisfied she becomes and the more she looks down on her husband. As for the husband, in the face of his wife's high-pressure policies, he appears to be submissive, Deep down, I have the fear of being with you like a tiger, and I even want to escape from the tiger's mouth all day long.

Most men like independent women, but they don’t like strong women. The difference between the two is: an independent woman is my territory and I make the decisions, relying only on myself and not depending on anyone else. What men read in them is strong self-confidence and a sense of mystery that is inaccessible to some extent, just like me The "Three Improper Women" mentioned earlier, and the more independent a woman is, the easier it is for a woman to propose to you willingly (see Chapter 4, Section 6 for details); a strong woman is not only her own boss, but also a man's boss. , like to be condescending, accustomed to a one-word leadership style, and want to be the leader inside and out. What men see in their faces is just blind toughness or even domineering.

Not long ago, I was chatting with a happily married woman. She said: Everyone knows that "water can carry or capsize a boat." Usually, we only think of it as discussing current affairs and political opinions. In fact, it is The handling of the relationship between men and women is also quite reasonable. As a woman, we should be as warm and comfortable as the hot spring we bathe in. It may seem tangible but is actually intangible, but it has another layer of power contained in it. On the contrary, if a woman appears to be too strong and only makes people dare not look at her, and is always kept in awe from a distance, I don't believe that such a woman can feel at ease. Some time ago, women were crying for the gorilla-like King Kong. Perhaps many women would miss a King Kong-like man in their hearts, but I have never heard of any man willingly (delete these words) to expect him to The woman on my pillow is as good as King Kong!

If a woman is too strong, the man she lives with will be relatively weak. In fact, it's not that men are weak, it's just that women are too strong, and this strong energy suppresses men. They say women are made of water, let us be gentle like water, kind like water, and smart like water. .

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