100,000 very funny jokes.

100,000 very funny jokes: Go to dinner with a few friends at a time. The hall was crowded with people. When the waiter received the private room to order, she said loudly: "The minimum consumption here is 2000 yuan!" Everyone was shocked. At this time, a friend asked, "How much is a plate of home-made tofu?" "18 yuan." "Well, here comes the 120 set!" Waiter, get out of here. The hotel manager came in and said with a smile, "Whatever you want!"

One hundred thousand funny jokes-1. Animals hold big parties. Kangaroo: Every time I go shopping, I always bring my own environmental protection bag and never use plastic bags that pollute the environment.

Spider: Now I seldom surf the Internet in the low-carbon era, so I concentrate on cross stitch.

The mosquito pressed the firefly without saying a word, and the firefly was angry. What are you doing? I'm looking for the power switch, save electricity!

2, a county magistrate to make a report, speaking like a book, scripted.

He read aloud, "Monks with diplomas, cadres without diplomas". Just after reading this sentence, the audience burst into laughter.

The county magistrate said angrily, "What's so funny? Monks can get diplomas, and our cadres must work harder! "

3, wife: I bought so much sauce meat, I cut the ham for you, how did it become so little in a short while?

Chef's husband: Oh, I just cut it in the canteen and get used to it.

Little Lisa went to a dance, because there was no partner, she had to sit quietly. When she was bored, Lisa was very happy when a handsome man came.

The man asked, "Miss, do you want to dance?"

Little Lisa stood up quickly and said politely, "Thank you, ok."

The man said, "Then I can sit in your chair."

100000 funny jokes 2 1. See you one day.

The first floor said, "The second floor is my grandson."

I saw a reply on the second floor: "Wang ~ Wang ~!"

Two fools were sitting together, and one fool suddenly slapped the other heavily.

The fool who was beaten asked, "Are you serious or joking?"

The fool who hit people was angry: "Of course I did!" "

The fool who was beaten was relieved and said, "Fortunately, it was a real fight. I don't joke with people. "

The computer company opened, and friends and relatives drank and entertained.

Everyone opened a bottle of beer with a "power on".

"Clear the field!" Let's hold the bottle and have a batch process.

"Reset!" Everybody put down the bottles.

……

"Hey, don't drink, I don't have enough memory to hold it." A clap belly way.

"Hey, my keyboard is broken." B trembled and incoherent.

"Yes, there is something wrong with my monitor, too." C shouted, "Everything is dangling in front of me."

100000 funny jokes 3 1. A good man was asked by a sister to repair the computer, but the broken computer could not be repaired. At this time, the sister squatted on the back of the good man and said, "This is very difficult to repair. Why don't we do something else? Not boring. "

Good people feel that their technical strength has been greatly challenged and insulted, and bite their teeth and say, "I'm sure I can fix it!" " "

2. In the chef's craft competition, in order to reflect fairness, automatic devices are used to detect the quality of food. As long as the food is put into the test box, the name and grade of the food will be displayed on the screen.

Chef No.1 put a roast whole sheep in, and the screen immediately showed: roast whole sheep, first class.

Chef No.2' s specialty is pig's trotters with sauce. After being put into the detection box, the screen shows: sauce pig's trotters, super grade.

It was the turn of Chef No.3, who put his plate of dry-fried tenderloin into it with trepidation, only to see the detector calculate for a while before reaching the conclusion that the chicken feed was qualified.

3, a person is timid+pedantic. One day, when I saw a robber trying to enter the house, I wrote a note outside the door, "Please don't enter", and the robber kicked the door open.

He quickly hid in the bedroom, wrote "This road is closed" on the door, and the robber kicked the door open again.

He hid in the toilet again and the robbers knocked on the door several times. Hearing a few coughs inside, he said, "There is someone inside."

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