Red roses and white roses: people who have no sense of self-identity are doomed to failure in life.

People often use roses as a symbol of love, and lovers especially like to give each other bright red roses to express their warm feelings. However, in the novel "Red Rose and White Rose", there is a subtle description of red rose and white rose, which shows men's love view of duplicity.

Love should be an unswerving effort to share life and death, but this vacillating view of love highlights the hesitation of many of us now. We often say that you can't have your cake and eat it, and you have to give up what you want in life, but this passage writes all the sorrows of life.

Some people say that things in this world can be divided into what you get and what you can't get; It is also said that there are only two kinds of tragedies in this world, that is, what is not obtained and what is obtained. What you can't get will eventually turn into obsession and become an eternal sting in life; What has been obtained will be a broken dream, which will make possession fall into nothingness.

However, what I want to say is that the greatest tragedy in life is to have it but turn a blind eye, and to have it and lose it. The key to life is to have a sense of self-identity. You should have the courage to pursue what you like, and you should be confident and grateful for what you have. Because only those who have no sense of self-identity will always feel that what others have is the best and what they lose is the most precious.

Red Rose and White Rose is a novel that tells the emotional story of men from a female perspective, showing a man's greed and helplessness. Tong Zhenbao, the hero of the book, is a model of successful counterattack and a standard outstanding figure, but his heart is riddled with holes and his feelings are vacillating, and the praised excellent life simply can't support his shaky soul.

In the traditional concept, there are two kinds of women, one is dignified and elegant, demure and polite, suitable for decorating the facade and marrying her back as a wife, and the other is passionate and romantic, which can arouse men's desire and is suitable for being a lover outside.

In the old society, many men had both strengths, but Tong Zhenbao was a freshman who came back from abroad. He can't be so decadent. On the one hand, Tong Zhenbao wants to have a passionate woman, on the other hand, he can't help but marry such a woman and is more worried that it is extremely unsafe to marry such a woman.

Before marriage, he dated two women, one was his first girlfriend Ross, and the other was his lover, the wife of a friend of Wang's who cheated in marriage.

It was because his first girlfriend's name was Rose that he later compared these two women to roses. A red rose is Wang's old lover, and a white rose is his wife Meng.

Tong Zhenbao is a very organized person and a very modern ideal figure. His modern engineering is also very logical, so he can do everything in his own position according to the standardized thinking, and his life is very orderly until he is forty years old.

He was born in the right direction, went abroad to get a degree and worked as an intern in a factory. He is not only brilliant and knowledgeable, but also works part-time and odd jobs with his bare hands. He achieved a high position in an old foreign-funded dyeing and weaving company; His wife graduated from college, clean and neat, good-looking, mild-tempered, and never socializes. A daughter is only nine years old, and the college education fee is ready.

Therefore, he is also very logical emotionally. He not only distinguishes prostitutes from decent women, but also distinguishes falling in love from real love, feelings and desires, and separates wives from lovers. Even if he thinks what he has encountered is unreasonable, ask himself, after several adjustments, he will become as if he had been idealized, and everything will be in place.

Tong Zhenbao is a thrifty man. He associates with Ross, and he is attracted by her frankness and informality. However, after learning that his father is a respected British businessman and his mother is a traditional Cantonese woman, he took the hand he was about to extend and completely restrained his impulse. He thinks that such a casually crazy and silly rose is not suitable for marrying home as a wife. Since not to be taunted, running with the bulls.

But unexpectedly, when he said goodbye to Rose before returning to China, Rose cried her eyes out, held him to death and refused to let go, even willing to give herself completely for him. This is something he never thought of before. In his opinion, it's just for fun. Why? Besides, he didn't treat her badly. How can he make her be dead set?

Just after bidding farewell to the English rose, I met my friend's wife Wang, who was as free as a rose and different from the ordinary traditional girl in ancient China.

Tong Zhenbao likes hot women and dissolute women, but he doesn't want to marry such women. He gave up roses because he was afraid of taking responsibility, but now Wang is a dissolute woman and someone else's wife. He thinks the big one is not dangerous.

Tong Zhenbao was seduced by Wang. The old classmate who devoted one hundred and twenty hearts to Tong Zhenbao went abroad to talk about business the day after Tong Zhenbao moved in, but it was not until the paper could not hold fire that Wang seduced Tong Zhenbao from the beginning, filed for divorce, and told her love affair with Tong Zhenbao in detail, and Wang Shihong finally came back from Singapore.

But it's one thing to marry, and it's another to marry the king. This time, he not only didn't dare to take responsibility, but also didn't want to be accused of meddling in an old friend's affairs. He put oil on his feet and then slipped away.

Tong Zhenbao obviously doesn't like reserved girls who can't flirt, but he is willing to marry such a woman to decorate his innocence. He married Meng, the perfect wife he imagined, but he was not satisfied. After his new marriage gave birth to a child, he left her hanging at home and often went into prostitution.

I like warm girls or demure girls. No matter what kind of girls I like, it is a preference, and there is no difference between good and bad. But Tong Zhenbao insists that warm girls are not good, and innocent and demure girls he doesn't like are all good, but he insists on doing it according to his own cognition, but he is very unhappy.

This can only be said that people who have no sense of self-identity are fooling around, not only harming themselves, but also harming innocent people. If Tong Zhenbao hadn't voluntarily agreed to marry Meng Tiao, perhaps Meng Tiao would have found a suitable one and married someone who knows how to appreciate and cherish himself. But Tong Zhenbao's noise ruined Meng's life. She was originally a weak and inactive person, but now she is stuck in the mire and doesn't know how to climb out. She can only live the most wronged life in the world under the banner of being a wife.

In addition to Wang, the experience of Red Rose is somewhat strange, and his first love, Red Rose, is also one of the victims. Although the rose seems a little crazy and stupid to Tong Zhenbao, it's just the normal social interaction of an innocent girl who doesn't know. It's just the filth that Tong Zhenbao keeps himself at the forefront of modern thought but in the darkest corner of backward thought.

However, the self-mutilated red rose woke up automatically after being abandoned, truly understood her own needs and found what she needed. Tong Zhenbao, who has always been complacent about his life, was shocked when he saw the happiness of Red Rose, and pushed himself to a hopeless situation.

If the first Tong Zhenbao only went whoring regularly, then later Tong Zhenbao stayed up all night, so mad that even his daughter's education expenses were spent, and the living expenses of the mother and daughter at home were gone.

His life has gone from being young and promising to being a mess, just because he has no sense of identity with himself.

Self-identity refers to being able to look at and accept oneself and the outside world rationally, being full of vitality, loving life, not being immersed in lamentation, complaint or regret, striving for progress, being active and independent, having a clear life goal, and experiencing self-worth and social recognition and identity in the process of pursuing and gradually approaching the goal. Consolidate self-confidence and self-esteem from this sense of identity, while not blindly succumbing to the public opinion of society and others. I have a strong awareness of my thoughts and behaviors.

Red rose had an epiphany in the injury, gained a sense of self-identity, finally bid farewell to the previous muddled life and found her own happiness. However, Tong Zhenbao, who has no sense of self-identity, studied so well that he made himself a joke. Since self-identity is so important, how can we get it?

Self-identity is to follow your inner guidance and really find what you need. When you gain self-identity, you will feel so close to yourself and have a sincere sense of happiness. This kind of happiness does not need the stimulation of any external objects, but slowly radiates from your own heart.

The biggest tragedy of Tong Zhenbao is that what he likes is one thing, and what he thinks is right is another. He believes that public standards and personal needs can't overlap, and they can only go their own way. This understanding makes his family look beautiful but not warm, and makes his temperament open outside but unable to be completely released, living in the gap between reality and dreams. Tong Zhenbao can never enjoy himself.

In fact, people with self-identity, regardless of social value, dare to stick to their ideals. Whether it is a white rose or a red rose, they are not only a simple color, they all contain the real characteristics of roses and have the same love core.

Just like in the series "Sansheng Stone III", Kyubi no Youko's silver fox Bai Qian is slow to respond to the love between men and women. I don't know that Mo Yuan's affection for her has already surpassed that of mentoring, but when she met YeHua, she fell in love with her easily and loved her more warmly than any enthusiastic person. Bai is a red fox, a lover of flowers since childhood, but he can also be extremely persistent and single in love, always fascinated by the old ice cube Donghua Emperor. Love can't be seen in its superficial form, nor can it be judged by a person's behavior and habits. In fact, if you really love someone, whether it's a white rose or a red rose, it's the same, and you can be both passionate and persistent.

If Tong Zhenbao has a deep sense of identity with himself, he may be able to stick to himself and dig deeper to get his most precious and perfect love. Tong Zhenbao is excellent in study and work, but he doesn't know love and has no sense of identity with himself. Therefore, the image of the winner in his first half life collapsed after middle age, and he became a very scum love rat.

However, if we don't have a deep sense of identity with ourselves, we are likely to be pushed by fate and often suffer from loss. When we got these, we found that these advantages and characteristics were gone, but after repeated weighing, we missed our own life. In this world, you can never have everything, you can only find what you want most, try to get it and cherish it forever.