The funniest qq signature

1, who hasn't been mentally ill, but have you ever been schizophrenic?

Close my eyes and I see my future.

3. Nothing money can solve is a problem.

I don't tidy my room. I am a beauty in a messy room.

5, a face of excitement, like drinking urine sugar.

6. Sometimes, less muscle is better than more worry.

7. It's not a crime for a man to use a gun, and a woman depends on B to mix society.

8, ten million health care, all health care, psychological balance is the key.

9. Why do you get up so early? The nightclub hasn't opened yet!

10, it's my bad luck to meet you at the best age.

1 1. We don't accept gifts this year, but only train tickets.

12, water sounds because of obstruction, and people mature because of setbacks!

13. Luck is when an opportunity happens to bump into your efforts.

14, I broke up with the summer vacation because of the bitch who started school!

15, cut the wire with a kitchen knife, and sparks and lightning all the way.

16. Actually, I am homesick, but it's just a matter of who I live in.

17, I feel so unfortunate that the world can know so much about you.

18, instant noodles are really convenient, but they still need electricity to cook.

19, what is love in the world? The sage replied: waste!

20. What is a mistress? At best, he is only one person.

2 1, who says tofu can't kill people? Try changing frozen tofu next time.

22, do what you want to do, otherwise, let the pig talk nonsense.

23. What's the use of barking? If you really bite me, that's your skill.

24. You said we would grow old together, but you secretly anointed it.

25. What's your favorite pet? Ultraman

26, shameless, if done well, it is called excellent psychological quality.

27. Don't think you are a gourd doll.

28. To tell the truth, all are black and blue. Those liars were covered up before the resumption.

29, don't use your identity as a common people, tell me the story of the underworld.

30. Men enjoy a moment, while women enjoy the whole process.

3 1, there is only one person in the world, and there is no need to be an episode of others.

32. Joking is ok. First, don't cross the line, and second, don't poke people where it hurts.

33. After you were born, were you thrown for the last time, but only caught once?

I want to be your heart in my next life. At least if I don't jump, you will die.

35. Pretend not to care about your ridicule and leave with a smile.

36. Endure pushing your luck for a while, to say the least, that's what bitches are like.

There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough way is to borrow money.

38. The friend said, Hey, you are really good. Long time no see, you have gained weight.

39. The highest state of shameless people is that they are completely unaware of their shameless.

40. My life has two aspects: A and B, and so does yours. ..

4 1, women are tools to make human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.

42. Confucius said: Don't sleep at noon, sleep in the afternoon. Laozi said: Confucius is right.

43. Now, the only thing I can afford to put down is chopsticks.

44. People have lost weight, waist and buttocks. Why do we have to start with brain cells?

45. The time is right, the place is right, the feelings are right, and the characters are wrong.

46. If the teacher didn't say don't litter, I would throw you out.

47. The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

Please get to the point and don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.

49. Horses tend to slip on soft soil, and people tend to fall in sweet talk.

50. I came quietly, walked quietly, waved a dagger, and left no one alive.

5 1, alas, how can I solemnly bow and scrape to those who are in high positions? Anyway, ten dollars is all your consumption.

52. Rabbits don't eat grass beside their nests, and the quality is not good. Why don't they look around?

53, dry wood meets fire, that is called Ming Sao; Wet wood meets small flames, which is a man show.

54. The face is a thing outside the body, but it is necessary. Money is a necessary thing, and it is necessary.

55. Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of having a brain is that you must have a brain.

56. Whenever the charge sounded, I quickly hid in the ditch, because: I am undercover!

57. Women don't spend money on their period, but men don't like it.

58. I'd rather you hold another woman and miss me than you hold me and miss another woman.

59, my world suddenly began to snow, my god! Please don't comb your hair next to me.

60, school, don't be ridiculous, I haven't moved my homework now, so why start school!

6 1. Be a rogue with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!

62. Love is a cheap project. Love has no truth, no truth and no dignity.

63. Failure is success. Damn it, I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

64. Everyone is born original, but sadly, many people gradually become pirates. .

65. I am a special person. I am an ordinary person, so I am an extraordinary person.

66. For those who gossip about me behind my back, I really want to call him grandpa and dad.

67. After class, the teacher said, What else do you not understand? I stretched myself and said, what class does the teacher have?

68. If you are the one, if a female guest turns off another man's light, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor!

69. What is redundancy? Cotton-padded jacket in summer, cattail leaf fan in winter, and your hospitality after I was cold.

I have music and beer, but I don't have a girlfriend. Who wants to play with me and swim happily together?

7 1. If no teacher can teach all subjects, why should a student learn all subjects?

I'm in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit.

73. Give me a fulcrum and I'll put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

74. If your high school classmate was sitting in a KTV and you happened to meet her, would you? I'll point her out.

75. After getting up today, I said to my husband: I want to make up. These idiots came to a sentence: that's not makeup, it's transformation.

76. The teacher said: Recently, some students have always said that they are under great pressure. Why? The students thought to themselves: it's not because of you, teacher.

77. I skipped classes too much. One day I wanted to go to class and met a professor. The professor said in surprise, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

78. In order to cooperate with the successful completion of China's family planning work this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

79. Make it clear that the script of your life is not a sequel to your parents, a prequel to your children, or a foreign story of your friends.

80. Everyone is a king, dominating in his own world. You don't listen to me, but you won't let me listen to you either.

8 1, Q: What are the most commonly used functions of mobile phones? A: It depends on time. Q: What is the most exciting function of the mobile phone? A: Vibration.

82. My head has been acting weird recently. I often get up in the middle of the night and stare at the pig shed in a daze, thinking about the reasons, and finally figuring out that you were kicked by a donkey.

83. Chinese girls fantasize about love, mathematics girls count love, history girls attack love, and foreign language girls export love.

84. I want to be a man and work hard to earn money; Wages are only rising slowly, and house prices are rising fast for no reason; It's hard to pay the down payment, but I can't help being single!

The funniest qq signature

1, live well, because we will die for a long time!

2. Who has never been mentally ill, but have you ever been schizophrenic?

The only thing I can afford now is chopsticks.

It is not a crime for a man to use a gun, but a woman depends on B to mix society.

5, ask what is in the world, just to make people die unsatisfied.

6, women chasing men, sandwich yarn. Men chase women, mezzanine mom.

7. The color of the money in your pocket determines your mood today.

I blame myself for being too young. I don't know if it's a man or a dog.

9. Bitches are always playing 250 in public places at the moment.

10, if there were not too many liars, I would have sold my kidney!

1 1 Chopin, no matter how awesome B is, can't play out Lao Tzu's sadness!

12, I hate Qin Shihuang. He burned the book, but he didn't finish it.

13, have you ever thought about suicide? I want to fucking kill you!

14. It's always bad to quarrel. Why don't we have a fight?

15. In the eyes of fools, the cleverness of smart people is worthless.

16, in the last few days of winter vacation, almost every household was brightly lit.

17, there is love besides teeth.

Whether cycling is fashionable or not depends on whether you are really poor.

19, everyone says I'm ugly, but I'm just not beautiful.

Everyone says I'm obedient, but I only listen to myself.

2 1, you think too complicated about others, because you are not simple.

22. Every parent has jet lag, and obviously only wants to say 1: 30.

23. I like the way you can't get used to me and can't get rid of me.

24. Men are not colored, not true colors; Women are not coquettish and have no tricks.

25. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

26. If you don't like me, you can choose to commit suicide or pretend to be blind.

27. No matter how many times you turn around, your ass is still behind you.

28, the simplest longevity cheats keep breathing, don't die.

Please don't seduce my third leg with your second mouth.

30. Why do every couple break up because we are not suitable?

3 1, God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still hurts my heart and bones.

32. The most painful love triangle in the world: I love food, and fat loves me.

Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

34. Oh, liar, there is no beef in beef instant noodles.

35, marriage enlightenment, as long as he is good to me, even if he is handsome!

36. The most domineering sentence when I was a child: Just wait and see after school.

37. The most romantic thing I can think of is watching you grow old alone.

38. When I woke up in the morning, I thought I had grown up. It turns out that the quilt cover is horizontal.

39. It may not be the enemy or your son who shits on your head.

40. Why is there no arranged marriage in the evil new society?

4 1, look at you, you look like a joke!

Superman always flies in briefs because triangles are very stable.

43. People can't take money to the grave, but money can take people to the grave.

44. At least I wear glasses. How can I flirt with a good woman?

45. Fallen is not terrible. What is terrible is that when a person falls, he is very awake!

46. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it.

47. Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are still alive, and he should have died!

I don't agree with you, but I will defend to the death my right not to let you speak.

49, dry wood meets fire, that is called Ming Sao; Wet wood meets small flames, which is a man show.

I locked the candy and buried it, but later I lost my key.

5 1. We are good friends. I'll help you when you fall, but let me finish laughing first.

52. Freshmen are familiar with each other; The younger brother of the second grade fell in love; It's time for the senior high school entrance examination.

53. Either endure or be cruel. I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military.

54. I'm not stupid, just a little stupid; I am not lazy, but I don't like to move; That's all.

I haven't written with a pen for a long time. I don't know if I don't write, but I am shocked if I write: Martians.

56. There are two things in the world that can lie on the glass. One is a gecko, and the other is a class teacher.

57. Life is like an electrocardiogram. You want smooth sailing without ups and downs, unless you die.

My mother always treats handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

59. The head on the left is flour, and the head on the right is water. When you think about a problem, your head burns.

60. I have a good temper and I won't be angry at all for my bad temper. .

6 1, about thong: I used to take off my underwear to see my ass; Now, take out your ass and look at your underwear.

62, eat, I want, thin, I also want, can't have both, and left.

63. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

64. I have tasted the ups and downs myself, and I am not qualified to say that I am not.

65. "Spring Dawn" This morning in spring, I woke up carefree and full of troubles. Don't turn on the light at night, there are many thefts.

66. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.

67. To be a white-collar worker, you need to prepare more white shirts. One is that you are professional, and the other is that it is easy to expose the color of the bra!

68. It's hard enough to drink dichlorvos. If I have another bottle, it will be even more collapsed.

There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever.

70. Gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.

7 1, I forgot to wear a short skirt, and Nima still wears leggings! Will I still peek at you? Trust between people is gone.

72. In our love, I have always played the role of loving you. When breaking up, don't ask me why I broke up, ask yourself.

73. The teacher said: Recently, some students have always said that they are under great pressure. Why? The students thought to themselves: it's not because of you, teacher.

74, people, really tired! I want to sleep when I stand. I love you and I suffer. You have to pay taxes when you go to work, and you have to queue up for dinner after work. I live and suffer!

75, people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

76. Keep in mind that there is no time to lose your temper. The machine is a slot machine. If you are injured, ignore it, come to work happily and go home completely.

77. As soon as the girls in our school turned around, the teachers and principals jumped off the building. When the girls in our school turn around, the Yangtze River and the Yellow River flow backwards. When the girls in our school turn three times, they don't have to worry about recovering Taiwan Province Province!

78. Hold your hand, follow your feelings, go to the alley mouth, let go of your hand, alas, you son of a bitch, you bite a bitch without saying hello!

79. The beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

20 19 the funniest qq personalized signature

1, you are wind, I am sand, you are toothpaste, I brush, you are Hami, I am melon, you don't love me, I commit suicide.

2, the mountain is not high, there is a fairy name; There is not much water, as long as you can drink it.

I will pursue my ideal, otherwise I will die unsatisfied.

People say I look like Hou, but I really want to tell you that I am your ancestor.

I feel it's natural to laugh when taking pictures, but I look like facial paralysis when taking pictures.

I don't have a man, so I'm fatter in winter.

7. The happiest thing I can think of is watching you have bad luck every day.

8. As you sow, you reap, and as you sow, you reap.

I thought I could surprise you this time, but I didn't want to scare you.

10, I will cut off all my fingernails in the future, which proves that I hurt myself in order to come.

1 1 You must admit that there are always some friends around who laugh more than jokes.

12, the mobile phone is unnecessary, but I can't live without it.

13, it is best to celebrate such a big event as National Day for one month.

14, don't be infatuated with elder sister, I have a heart.

15, it's not that easy to lose weight, just because your meat is very delicate.

16, of all the people, I care about myself the most.

17, you don't even know what you do, but you still have a hard time.

18, I really want to throw you away, you worthless thing, what hurts?

19, you are 2, I am 4, you are 2 or 2.

I can't keep up with the times. Others said that the next stop was happy. I do have a traffic jam at the next stop.

2 1. If I were a man in my next life, I would marry a woman like me.

I can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human.

23. The biggest tragedy in life: the beauty is dying and the hero is bald.

24. Saying sorry to yourself will get you into trouble all your life.

25, love disappeared, and we lost our way in the process of desperately running away.

Even if the whole world betrays me, I will not betray myself.

27. Whether you like it or not, whether it is appropriate or not, and whether you can be together are three different things.

28. You want to be with her, but you don't look at yourself. Are you worth it?

29. Even if you can wrestle the next second, you will still fall this second. Do you think you are a god?

I won't allow you to disturb my firmness, because your alarm clock makes me sleep badly every day.

3 1, once a person taught you how to love, but he no longer loves.

32. I am selfish, you are a playboy, I hide, and you cheat. We have our own problems.

33. There is always a protagonist and a supporting role in love. Tired will always be the protagonist, injured will always be the supporting role.

I don't care about anyone, but I'm afraid I'll be sad.

Unconsciously, I found that I would never forget you.

36. Memories are a very tiring thing, just like when you can't sleep.

You don't know me. I don't blame you, but how can I blame you?

38. I heard that I will get happiness after love, so why can't I get happiness?

39. If you fall in love with someone, you want to be together even if you are unhappy.

40. When you are sad, I will make you happy.

20 19 the craziest qq funny signature

20xx's craziest qq funny signature

1, the weight is only 100, and it is either flat-chested or short.

I have never been cheated, because no one has ever cheated me.

3, the most fake sentence in the world, minors are forbidden to enter.

I'm afraid you can't stand doing such an exciting thing in the end.

5. Can you not become a spectre when you die, because I will be afraid?

6. If you like another bottle, buy a bottle of dichlorvos.

7. I don't think I am a sick cat, so don't treat kindness as bullying.

8, growth is the pain of the cone heart, regardless of the consequences called youth.

It doesn't matter. We are just friends, there is no reason to be apart.

10, in this boring years, there is another boring me.

1 1, do something wrong, don't think about how to make it right, because there is no regret medicine in the world.

12, many places around. If someone comes, someone will leave.

13, I am used to your existence, so I am what I am now.

14, like to see jokes, don't you? Then I'll end it here with a smile.

15, do you know what inner pain feels like? Do you want to experience the feeling of being black and blue?

16, I'm impatient with you. I'm going to kick you out.

17, I have nothing now, and I have no reason to care about you.

18, you delayed my youth, and now I want to get back that youth debt.

19, don't talk to me about life, because you are not born.

20. We always live a boring life, and so does love, in memory of my boring love.

2 1, why don't I believe you when you make love words so sensational?

22. Beating is kissing, scolding is love, and love is too close to kick.

23. I will never see your qq, but you don't know that you are no longer my group.

24. There is no love in the world, because your conscience has been bitten by a dog.

Geneticists tell us that cross-species love never ends well.

Sister, charming facial features are the beginning of your crime.

27. The most irritating thing in the world is not casting pearls before swine, but a group of people playing cotton for you.

28, such a thing as long meat, if you have the ability, don't rush to the waist and rush to the chest.

29, thick thighs, black stockings, this summer is terrible

30. My present life can't satisfy me, so I want to make a breakthrough.

3 1, I call 10086 when I am in a bad mood, because he never scolds me.

32. Myopia has a great advantage, that is, you can look at you close to you.

33. Although the famous flowers are taken, they should be relaxed from time to time.

34. Friend, I'm busy now. Please call 10086 if you need anything.

Money is no problem to me at all. The problem is that I have no money at all.

36. The punch line is getting lower and lower, because life is getting harder and harder.

37. It's easy to pull eggs when you step on it.

38. My attitude has always been decided by me.

39, what city people, now the earth is called a village.

40. Don't fucking attract the opposite sex as so-called love.

4 1, it was your mouth that made you mean, so I slapped you.

42, watching her cry, my heart is bleeding, you know?

43. Love, what the hell, are you kidding? That's ridiculous.

44. I am not only three years old, but also familiar with it.

45. Life is like turning pages. Turn it over and it's gone.

46. Don't say I've changed, thanks to you.

47. My world will be more wonderful without you, so get out of here.

48. I can love vigorously or do it neatly. It's entirely up to you.

49. Don't pretend to wish me happiness. You have no right to say that.

50. You always appear in my nightmares and never give me any beauty.