At the age of joking

1: Today, my father suddenly said to me: I helped you get a piece of land today ... and suddenly I had a meal, and an idea that had been brewing for a long time suddenly popped up! I knew I was actually an invisible rich second generation! I used to be poor at home to sharpen me! The time is finally ripe! They finally let me show my talents! The knowledge of economics flashed through my mind, and I knew the general direction of investment very well, so I fought back my inner excitement and asked in a calm and casual tone, "Oh, which land?" ... "SF Express"

A new female colleague called me after work today, but I refused decisively. I said there was something wrong with you. Can I call you for thousands of dollars? She asked me for her phone number, and I said I couldn't give it to you after years of use! Then she left. I found it really disgusting. You need a phone number when you meet, and you need a phone number when you end. I didn't say the contact information of hundreds of people in my number. The key is that there are still more than ten dollars in the phone bill. 、

3. A husband taught his wife to drive: "Baby, step on the clutch, put it in first gear, gently lift the clutch, step on the gas pedal, go, alas, go, right, second gear … go, third gear … fourth gear … fifth gear … slow down, slow down. . ,, slow down! . . Slow down at the bottom! , step on the brakes! Don't cover your fucking eyes! Hold the steering wheel. Lies ... slot! Nima .......................... "At the age of 27. ...

4. I hold the handrail of the balcony of a house of more than 70,000 square meters, smoking a cigarette and thinking a lot. What do people live for, money? Right? After being rich and powerful? At this moment, a beautiful young woman came up behind me and said to me, Master, here is 200 yuan for you to go to the toilet. ...

5: There is a lovely little girl at my friend's house. On this day, my friend took the little girl to his girlfriend's house to play, and also brought a fresh cucumber for the little girl to eat. Seeing that the child refused to eat all the time, the friend asked, "What's the matter, baby, are you embarrassed to eat other people's food?" No, mom, is this cucumber bad and smelly? My best friend blushed at once ...

6: M: Do you really like me that much? Woman: hmm ... the boy took a deep breath of his cigarette and looked at the girl affectionately: I don't want to go back to the dormitory today. Do you have an ID card? Woman: Yes ... But, ok ... The boy took the ID card and asked her gently: Do you know which Internet cafe is cheaper here? ......