Share classic humorous jokes.

1, a couple divorced for their children, and the wife confidently said, "The child came out of my stomach, of course it is mine!" The husband said, "Joke! This is complete nonsense. Can the money withdrawn from the ATM go to the ATM? It's not who gets the card! "

When someone saw the sea for the first time, he sighed: "The sea! Mom. ! "As soon as his voice fell, a wave came and hit him in the face. The man said angrily, "Shit! Or is he a stepmother! "

The beauty at the front desk of the company is crying to resign. My colleague was surprised and asked, "Why did you quit?" The beauty said angrily, "I don't want to resign either, but there is an asshole named Jing Yue in the company who is always late!" " "The manager advised," then you won't quit! The beauty continued: "It doesn't matter if he is late. The question is, every day, people ask me if' Jing Yue' has come. I really can't stand it. "

4. The director and the section chief share the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, You farted! The section chief said: I didn't put it there. Soon, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: you can't afford to take care of big things. What's the use of asking you

In a fashion shop, I saw an impatient young man say to a beautiful girl, "Do you mind talking to me?" The girl asked curiously, "Why?" "My wife has been in this shop for more than an hour, but if she sees me talking to you, she will come out at once." Before he finished, his wife quickly walked out of the fashion shop and left with him.

6. A buddy was investigated for playing miss drunk, and his confession was highly summarized in one sentence: it takes two slaps to make a sound, and it's a big mistake. The police thought it was too abstract after reading it, and asked for refinement and quantification, and spoke with data. This buddy wrote ten more points: being alone; Two people are happy; Three minutes of pleasure; Tip 400 yuan; A fine of 5,000 yuan; Six months' salary; Detention for seven days; Eight generations of bad luck; Trouble caused by wine; Very regretful.

7. Xiaoming returned to the classroom after going to the toilet and said to the teacher, "There are many ants in the toilet." The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant for ants, so he tested Xiaoming: "What did ants say?" Xiao Ming looked at it … and said, "The ant … didn't say anything …"

My son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: When you grow up, marry a daughter-in-law to sleep with your mother? A: Hmm! Mom said, what about your wife? The son said, let her sleep with her father. Dad said excitedly after listening: this child has been sensible since childhood!

9. A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and rushed over to ask it: I am a police dog. What are you? The ordinary dog took a disdainful look and said, idiot, look clearly, I am plain clothes!

10, men have the symptoms of having an affair: the company works overtime every day, never touches housework, turns off the mobile phone when they get home, deletes after sending text messages, snores loudly when sleeping, and often wears underwear backwards. By contrast, three cases were suspected and four cases could be diagnosed.

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