Super funny jokes make your stomach short.

1. Laugh at the jokes of classic classmates. Principal: Why are you outside the classroom? Why don't you go to class? Johnny: I ate so many beans in the morning that I couldn't digest them. Just farted for a long time, and the teacher kicked me out as a troublemaker! Principal: What are you laughing at? What's so funny? Johnny: Because the students are still inside!

Laughing on the Internet every day, in literature class, a young female student asked the professor if he had read the popular bestseller at that time, but the professor admitted no. The female student exclaimed in surprise, "Hey, this book has been published for three months. Why haven't you seen it yet? " The professor said slowly to the female student, "Girl, have you read Dante's Divine Comedy?" Female student: "No, I haven't seen it." Professor: "Then you must hurry, it has been hundreds of years!" " "

3. Funny beauty takes the bus. Waiting for the bus at the railway station, a beautiful woman hurried by and knocked something off the suitcase next to me. It seems that I fell badly, because the voice was quite loud, and the beauty looked sorry. I said, nothing, it doesn't matter, as long as you don't delay getting on the bus, you will fall. The beauty looked at me with satisfaction for a few seconds. At that moment, I felt great until a big brother shouted at me, "Brother,

The chemistry teacher in junior high school is very funny. I remember one mid-term exam, he drew several reaction equations for us, and then said, "These equations must be in the exam. If not, you can smash my glass with bricks! " After drinking saliva, he continued: "It's over, see how I can clean you up!" "

The beggar asked me for a piece of Qian Qian, so I shouted to him: My monthly salary is 26003 1 day, and I am on standby 24 hours a day. That is to say, I earn 2600 yuan in 44640 minutes a month, with an average of 0.058 yuan per minute, less than 6 cents a minute. You fucking asked me for 1 yuan. !

6. I went out for dinner with my little nephew today. After eating, I found that I didn't bring my wallet and my mobile phone was dead. How to settle the bill in a hurry? You can't eat the king's food! At this time, the little nephew said humorously to the boss, "Uncle, my aunt is so beautiful, why don't you leave my aunt here and I'll go back and get the money ..."

7. A girl posted her photo and said, "After careful consideration, I decided not to take the postgraduate entrance examination. We are looking for a boyfriend and work together! " Friends unanimously replied: "Don't take it hard, you should take the postgraduate entrance examination!"

8. Once after school, I found a pair of boys and girls in the same class kissing in the grass next to the playground. The goods peeked for a long time, and suddenly leaned in and said, take me to kiss, or I'll tell the class teacher! ! And then the real kiss was beautiful ... kiss ...