Ask for some Soviet jokes

1) A citizen called Radio Kiev and asked the host, "Is materialism art or science?" The host said, "I don't know, but I'm definitely not a science student." "Why?" "If it is science, they should experiment with dogs."

2) When the American diplomatic delegation visited the Soviet Union, Su Xiu's reception officials accompanied them to visit the "great achievements of construction" and proudly said, "By the next five-year plan, every Soviet family can have a private jet!" The American asked in surprise, "What do they need a plane for?" Su Xiu official said: "Of course it is useful ... For example, if you hear in Moscow that Leningrad has started to supply bread, you can fly to the queue immediately."

3) Su Xiu is militaristic, and the army is in short supply. The quartermaster, accompanied by a corporal, went to the barracks to check the supplies. They walked near the oil depot and found a cigarette butt on the ground. The quartermaster said discontentedly, "Whose cigarette butt is this?" ! "Corporal looked around and said happily," it seems that no one, comrade colonel, pick it up quickly! " "

4) Soviet leaders were invited to visit Paris, France. French officials showed him around. He is not interested in the National Defense Headquarters, the Paris Metro, the Arc de Triomphe, the China Painting Museum, the expressway network and the world-famous TVG express train. When French officials took him to the Eiffel Tower in Paris, he suddenly became interested in it. He asked the French official, "Aha! Is there a population of 9 million in Paris? " French official: "You are absolutely right." The leader proudly said, "Haha, I finally found it. It turns out that nine million people in Paris enjoy a bell tower! "

5) There are rules in hell. Whoever kills people on earth will be drowned by the blood of the victims. Once God visited hell and found that the blood only dipped into beria's leg. God was very surprised and asked, "You killed so many people, why did the blood only flow to your legs?" Beria replied: "Because I stand on the shoulders of the great leader Stalin!"

6) Khrushchev gave reports everywhere. One day, he went to a mental hospital to give a report. In advance, the person in charge of the insane asylum called the lunatics together and told him, "After Comrade He made a report, everyone gave warm applause." After making the report, Hector really won prolonged applause for a long time, and Hector was very proud. But he suddenly found that one of them didn't applaud, and he immediately flew into a rage. Hector asked, "Why don't you clap?" The man replied, "My madness has been cured."

7) Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev went out by train. The train went on and stopped suddenly. Stalin stuck his head out of the window and roared, "Shoot the train driver!" But the car still didn't move. Then Khrushchev said, "Restore the reputation of train drivers!" The car still hasn't moved. Brezhnev said, "Comrades, why don't you close the curtains, sit in your seats and shake yourself and pretend that the train is still moving ..."