I'm so closed now that I dare not express myself. I'm afraid people will say I'm laughing at me. Then I was happy. I look down on me. I don't know what the problem is. I have a shadow in my heart.

What made you shut yourself off? What setbacks or blows have you suffered? I wonder if you are a student or an adult. You should see a psychiatrist in a very bad and serious situation. Some people will encounter many difficulties in life. You should face them bravely, not avoid them. You live for yourself, not for others, so you don't have to care whether others look up to you. It is best to look up to yourself. Go your own way and let others talk.