Humorous jokes about chatting with girls.

1. When I came home from work today, my wife came over and asked, "Is it better to be at home or outside? I went back without thinking: "of course it's good at home!" "Who knows my wife slapped me and said you really had an affair. "

2. "Miss Wang," the headmaster asked the head teacher, "I heard that a student in your class came to school yesterday and didn't wash his face. You blew him home. How effective is this method? " "This method doesn't seem to work," said the head teacher. "Today, more than half of the students didn't wash their faces."

3. After entering the university through the college entrance examination, there will definitely be a previous situational dialogue before the start of school. Diaosi: Hey, handsome boy, you are so tall. Do you want to join our basketball team? Handsome guy: Oh, I can't play basketball. Diaosi: Impossible! Why else can't you play basketball when you are so tall? Handsome guy: Why don't you sell sesame cakes? Diaosi: ...

4. Police: "Stop the car! Take out your certificate ",Xiao Ming:" What are you doing? " Policeman: "you just pressed the double solid line, deducted it and fined it." Xiao Ming: "Did I crush it? Did I break it? Since it is not broken, why should I be punished? " Policeman: "Sorry, you crushed it into an internal injury!" " "

Xiaoguang is a diligent student. He worked part-time during the winter vacation to earn tuition. Help the butcher cut meat during the day and go to the hospital for internship at night. One night, an old woman was pushed into the operating room by Xiaoguang because of an emergency operation. The old woman screamed in panic: "My God! You kill pigs, where are you going to push me! "

6. I asked my friend, "Do you guys look at girls' breasts or legs first?" He looked at me and said, "I usually look at my eyes first." I immediately thought he was a deep person, and then I heard him slowly add, "If she doesn't find me looking at her, keep looking at her breasts." "

7. I saw a beautiful woman on the road, slim and hot, and resolutely walked up to talk to her. Her phone rang and she said, "I'll take a call", which made me feel great. I waited anxiously. This is what she said on the phone: "Little sister, brother, I just arrived in China from Thailand and met a handsome guy, who is quite nice." Suddenly, I was speechless!

8. Watching TV with his girlfriend after dinner, the heroine swallowed and the hero patted him on the back. Girlfriend: "What if I swallow you one day?" My brain replied, "I'll pull it out a little." Doctor, can my face recover?

I was kidnapped by kidnappers yesterday, and I was safe after being rescued by the police. When I got home, my wife asked me, "They didn't do anything to you, did they?" I said, "They cured me of constipation for many years."

10. The city zoo stood in front of the crocodile with its mouth open and kept looking into its mouth. Someone asked him, "What happened to the crocodile?" "I don't know," he said. "The vet has been in for half an hour and hasn't come out yet."

1 1. Alas, I was taught not to be an irresponsible person when I was a child, so now I am stupid.

12. The premise of wanting others to coax you into saying "I like it if you are fat" is that you should be thin now.