How to avoid being misunderstood by others?

Apart from conflicts on major issues and direct conflicts of interest, the reason for disharmony among colleagues is that they usually don't pay attention to the details of their words and deeds. Many times, you may think this is a punch line, but it may disappoint the listener, and the result will definitely make you unable to go downstairs. Why did this happen? The reason is that there is ambiguity in speech.

For example, the young man awei is going to buy a birthday present for his new girlfriend Xiaolan. They haven't been in touch for a long time. After careful consideration, the young man thinks that it is most appropriate to send a pair of gloves, which is both romantic and not too intimate.

In the afternoon, awei went to the department store to buy a pair of white gloves for his girlfriend, and asked her sister Xiaoli to bring them to her sister. Xiaoli bought herself a pair of underwear. On the way home, Xiaoli turned two items upside down, and the gift for Xiaolan turned into underwear.

That night, awei received a phone call from Xiaolan as soon as he got home:

"Why did you buy me such a gift?"

Didn't hear each other's anger, awei was in high spirits. He spoke more fluently than ever before, and could not tolerate Xiaolan's interruption: "Xiaolan, I chose this gift because according to my careful observation, you never need to go out with me at night, and I didn't buy you a long one, because I noticed that you used it short and took it off easily. Its color is very light, but the lady who sells it showed me something she used. She said she hadn't washed it for three weeks, but it was not dirty at all. I also asked her to try yours on the spot. It looks great ... "

"mental derangement!"

Awei, who was waiting for the compliment, suddenly heard these three words. He was stupid and stood there speechless. ...

Why do lovers in love cause misunderstandings? Careless Xiaoli is certainly responsible, but the main reason is that the main object of the conversation between the two sides is not clear. On the phone, both sides thought that the "gift" in their words was very clear, so they didn't say it, and as a result, they made a joke.

Society is made up of all kinds of people. Everyone's position is different, and the nature of work is also different. In this crowded workplace, there will always be some unexpected misunderstandings and even confusing disputes.

When misunderstood, work will be difficult, and the life of husband and wife will lose harmony, thus affecting the happiness of the family and even the interests of the group.

Here, first of all, talk about several reasons for misunderstanding.

1. Missing words

Some people, whether expressing information or explaining something, often lack words. As a result, only they understand, and others don't know the truth at all. This kind of person just lacks the consciousness of "making the other person understand", which leads to misunderstanding. For example, a regiment of the British army bought a donkey as a mascot. Unfortunately, the donkey died in a few days. As the head of the delegation was away on business, the deputy head sent a telegram to the head: "The donkey died unfortunately. Buy another one or wait for you to come back? " If it is changed to "the donkey died unfortunately." Buy another donkey, or wait until you come back? " You can't joke.

Be too careful

Some people worry too much about everything and never express their opinions. Therefore, the individual's sense of existence is quite weak, and it is easy to be misunderstood.

This kind of person always hopes that the other party can understand without listening to too many explanations, and lacks the courage to express their opinions actively. Such people should know that reserve is not a virtue, and should deeply reflect on themselves.

3. Self-righteous

Such people are smart and can do everything just right, but they are often self-righteous and go their own way. Even if you start a new job, you never say hello to others, just do it yourself. In this way, even if he finishes his work smoothly, his superiors and people around him will not welcome him.

4. Bad appearance impression

What impresses people most is the visual experience. Although everyone knows that "you can't judge a person by his appearance", in fact, the image you see with your eyes often becomes the standard for judging a person, and this impression may be the reason for misunderstanding. If people around you have a bad impression and cause misunderstanding, if you don't make up for it early, the consequences will be more serious.

5. Lack of consideration

Even if it's just a joke, if it causes the other party's unhappiness, I'm afraid it will also lead to unexpected misunderstandings. Even a word of comfort and reward may become a misunderstanding if the other party accepts it in different ways. Therefore, before you speak, you must first consider each other's situation and acceptance attitude.

It can be seen that if you don't pay much attention to your words in your daily life or work, it is easy for others to misunderstand and bring embarrassment to our relationship. So, how can we try not to be misunderstood by others?

1. Don't omit the subject at will.

From the perspective of modern grammar, in some special contexts, the subject can be omitted, but it must be understood by both sides of the dialogue, otherwise it will easily lead to misunderstanding.

In a shop, a young man was in a hurry to choose a hat, and the salesman gave him one. He tried to say, "big, big." The salesman changed four or five types of hats for him one after another, but he still muttered, "Big, big." The salesman looked at it carefully and got angry: "It's obviously small, so why say it's big?"

The young man stammered, "Boss, boss, I said big." The salesman gave him a hard look, and the customer next to him laughed. The reason for this embarrassing ending is that the young man omitted the theme of his statement: "Head."

2. Use less classical Chinese words and dialect words.

When talking with people, unless there is a special need, generally do not use classical Chinese words. Excessive use of classical Chinese is easy to cause misunderstanding of the other party, which is not conducive to the exchange of feelings and the expression of ideas.

There is such a thing: a scholar went to buy firewood, and he said to the firewood seller, "Come here!" " "The firewood seller didn't know the word' firewood', but he knew the word' come here', so he put the firewood in front of the scholar. The scholar asked him, "What is the price? "The firewood seller didn't understand this sentence, but he knew the word" price ",so he told the scholar the price. The scholar went on to say, "The exterior is solid and the interior is weak. More smoke, less flame. Please damage it. "Your firewood is dry outside, but it is wet inside. When it burns, there will be more smoke and less flame. Please lower the price. ) The firewood seller couldn't understand the scholar's words, so he picked up the firewood and turned away.

In this way, because scholars pay too much attention to the so-called "elegant expression", they can't achieve their goals.

3. Pay attention to the use of homophones

Homophones are words with the same pronunciation but completely different meanings. Because language is separated from glyphs in oral expression, it is easy to misunderstand if homophones are used improperly. For example, "final exam" is easily misunderstood as "mid-term exam", so in order to avoid misunderstanding, it is better to change "final exam" into "final exam".

4. Pay attention to proper pause when speaking.

In written language, punctuation marks are used to break sentences in order to make the content more specific and accurate. In spoken English, we can only resort to pause. Using pause can make our expression clear and pleasant, and reduce misunderstanding. Some people speak very fast and talk like machine guns, especially when they are excited or nervous. It is easy to confuse the audience when the speech is over.

For example, on his way to work, a young man met a group of students who had just watched a football match on TV. He asked, "Who won this game?" One of the impatient students blurted out excitedly: "China beat the Japanese team to win the championship."

The young man is puzzled: Did China beat Japan or did Japan win the championship? He didn't know China had won until he asked another student.

Therefore, when we are talking with people, we must pay attention to the pause of sentences, so that people can easily understand and hear your conversation and understand what you are saying.