The teacher asked the students who was playing a prank in class, and the students answered humorously.

Teacher: "Peter, why do you always cover your ears?"

Peter: "Didn't you say that I always go in one ear and out the other?"

Really? I'm blocking my ears. "

True "saturation"

In class, the chemistry teacher asked the students to use the examples they saw in real life.

Explain the concept of "saturation".

A classmate hurriedly raised his hand and said, "For example, by bus, there are so many people that even the doors are closed."

You can't turn it off. "

"No, it isn't," someone immediately stood up and said, "only when the back door is crowded.

Personal, the front door was immediately crowded by a person, this is the real' saturation, what! "

Deviation theory

Facing more and more students wearing glasses in the class, the teacher said earnestly, "the same."

Scholars, the eyes are the windows of the soul, don't let them be covered by glass and lose their true colors.

Light. "

As soon as the voice fell, a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, since it is a window, how can it not be cold?"

What about the glass? "

tornado

Teacher: "Have you noticed? Lightning always precedes thunder. "

Student: "This is the simplest thing. People's eyes are not all in their ears.

In front of it? "

Dao Liang is hard to find.

I asked the students, "I told my father that one of the circus I saw the day before yesterday was a program."

The man put his head into the lion's mouth, and his father shook his head and said,' This bowl of rice is really not easy to eat.'

I know you all know these words, but do you understand the meaning of this sentence?

Think? "The students said with one voice," That is to say, the lion is thinking: the head is too hard, I'm afraid it won't work.

Easy to eat. "

"Don't trample"

Being a substitute teacher for the first time is both exciting and nervous. When I walked into the classroom, I

I found that the blackboard said, "Welcome to the new teacher! Please don't step on it, thank you! " I find it strange.

Ask why you wrote "Don't trample". The whole class replied with one voice: "We are from the motherland.

Flowers! "

rare animal

In class, the teacher asked, "Students, who can name a rare animal in South Africa?"

"polar bear!" Xiao Na stood up and answered without thinking.

"Son," the teacher said kindly to Xiaoji, "you can't find polar bears in South Africa."

"I know!" The young lady said, "Because of this, polar bears are rare animals in South Africa."

Hmm! "

The queen's request

Teacher: "Xiaoqing, what is the emperor's opinion?"

Xiaoqing: "I am alone." He stood up and answered without hesitation.

Teacher: "What about the Queen?"

Xiaoqing: "Niangniang ... is Niangniang ..." He thought for a long time, and suddenly, he had a brainwave.

Move, immediately answer: "The queen calls herself a widow."

strong point

Once in a Chinese class, the teacher asked the little intellectual, "Can you explain' major'?"

Meaning? "

"Yes!" Little intellectuals are very proud. He said, "A major is a special major."

The teacher said, "Yes, can you make sentences with it now?"

"Yes!" The little insider proudly said, "My uncle's hair and nails are all."

Professional! "

That's so interesting.

Teacher: "Tai means supreme, like the emperor's father, space and so on, Ming."

Is it white? "

Student: "I see, no wonder my father calls me Mrs!" " "

Different experiences

The teacher asked, "If iron is placed outside and exposed to air frequently, it will rust. What about gold? "

The student replied, "It will be stolen."

Where is the "ceremony"

In Chinese class, the teacher asked, "Zhang Xiaoming, please use the word" courtesy "politely.

In a word. "

Zhang Xiaoming thought for a moment and said, "Dad went out with his bag and asked someone to do something."

The teacher said, "Is there no word' Li'?"

Zhang Xiaoming said seriously, "Why is there no' ceremony'? The gift is in dad's bag. "

What is an oral exam?

A teacher asked a student, "What is an oral exam?"

The student explained: "The oral exam is a game, one knows it, but doesn't say it;" another

Personally don't know, but say. "

"unparalleled in the world"

Teacher: "Tell me the meaning of the word' chinese odyssey'."

Student: "The whole world means birth, and" unparalleled "means no parents. Unique and fair

I was born without parents! "

Emphasize practical results

Teacher: "Why does water freeze in winter?"

Student: "Provide a skating place for people."

Too clever.

In the agronomy class, the teacher asked, "When is the best time to pick apples?"

A student replied without thinking, "when the breeder's dog is locked up."

The house faces west.

Teacher: "When do you get up during the summer vacation?"

Boy: "I got up when the first ray of sunshine shone into my window."

Teacher: "Isn't that too early?"

Boy: "Oh, my home faces west."

A clever/specious/clever debate

The teacher reprimanded the students on duty in the class and said:

"The blackboard is so dirty, the rag is dry, it's on the globe …" He wiped it with his hand.

"It's all gray."

"Oh," said the student on duty, "you just put it in the Sahara desert."

crazy

The teacher asked Xiao Wu, "Do you know what the cuckoo is for?"

Xiao Wu replied, "cloth can cut clothes, food can be eaten as food, and birds can be used for us to play."

Inconceivable

In class, a teacher is introducing Japanese surname habits to students.

She said: "if there is a Japanese name with the word' taro', then he must be the eldest son;"

If there is the word "Jiro" in his name, then he must be the second son ... who knows?

A Japanese by that name? "

A student stood up and answered loudly:

Isoroku Yamamoto! '

The difference between an elephant and a bird

The biology teacher organizes students to discuss the difference between elephants and birds in class.

The first one said, "elephants have long noses, but birds don't."

The second student said, "Birds have wings, but elephants don't."

The third student said loudly, "The biggest difference is that birds can ride on elephants.

Elephants can't ride on birds "

Non-freezing liquid

Teacher: "Think about it, what liquid won't freeze?"

Learn 10: "Boiling water."

No braids

The teacher inspired the students in class and said, "Classmates, the ancients studied very hard. you

Have you heard the story of' hanging beam on your head'? "

"I've heard of it." The students answered in unison.

The teacher went on to say, "OK. We must also learn from the ancients. "

At this time, a boy raised his hand and reported, "Only girls can learn, but boys can't." old

The teacher asked in surprise, "Why?"

The student replied, "I don't have a braid on my head."

fish

Teacher: "Why can fish only live in water?"

Student: "Because there are cats on land."

Looking for gold

"Can you tell me a place where I can find gold?"

"yes."

"Where is it?"

"In the dictionary."

The reason for the long neck

Teacher: "Why is the giraffe's neck so long?"

Student: "Because its head is too far away from its body."

Edge answer

Teacher: "How many sides does a box have?"

Student: "Two sides: inside and outside."

The latest teeth

Teacher: "Which tooth of a person appears at the latest?"

Student: "Dentures." The worst thing.

Teacher: "Is there anything better than biting an apple and finding it inside?"

Is there a bug worse than this? "

Student: "Yes, there are only half of the bugs left."

Be worthy of sb's reputation.

The professor tested a 6-year-old boy with precocious intelligence.

The professor asked, "When is your birthday?"

Child: "February twentieth."

Professor: "What year?"

Child: "Every year."

Brotherly Love

Once, when the teacher was giving a lecture, in order to let the students fully understand the meaning of charity,

For example: "If a donkey goes up a mountain with a heavy burden, and its owner

I went up to stop it when I was still flogging hard. Bede, what do you think this means?

What kind of virtue? "

Bede quickly said, "brotherly love."

Singular and plural

The math teacher asked Jack, "Do you understand what singular and plural are now?"

"I understand." Jack replied.

"So is a pair of trousers singular or plural?" The teacher asked again.

"It's simple," Jack answered. "The above is singular, and the following is plural."

There are no wooden slippers.

John's father bought him a flower cat, and he likes it very much. John often takes it with him.

In the classroom, play with your classmates.

One day, the animal teacher asked him:

"Why doesn't the cat make a sound when it walks?"

John immediately replied, "Isn't it obvious? The cat didn't wear wooden slippers. "

Lack of spokesperson

The teacher is giving her seven-year-old students a science lesson. She told them, "worker ants, but

Carrying food five times its own weight. What conclusion can you draw from it? "A.

A child confidently replied, "They don't have a union."

advantages and disadvantages

"Before judging things, we must first listen to the pros and cons.

"Say that finish, the teacher then asked," who can give me an example? "A study.

The student immediately got up and answered, "When buying records!" "

Push down the fattest one.

The student union will hold a prize-winning questionnaire. The title of the contest is: five celebrities take a balloon, five.

People represent the highest level in their respective fields: one is a writer and the other is a chemist.

One is a physicist, the other is a medical scientist and the other is a meteorologist. The balloons suddenly met.

Storm, push them both down, ensure the safety of the balloon, the problem is, investigate.

Which two people did you push down?

Soon, I received many answers, most of which were quoted by others, and the analysis was eloquent.

Prove everyone's advantages and disadvantages, and then put forward your own views.

But in the end, the jury awarded the first prize to a third-grade student whose answer

Yes:

"Push the fattest two down!"

Lose paradise regained.

Professor: "Please tell one or two stories about Milton, an English poet."

Student: "He wrote Paradise Lost after he got married, and Love after his wife died."

Garden. "

Don't eat eggs

"The lioness gave birth to her cubs, and the cubs wanted to eat."

"Bitches give birth to puppies, and puppies have to eat."

"……?"

"In other words, all mothers have to eat."

Little Tom thought and thought, and finally found a guy who was born not to eat. He sued

Teacher Su:

"Teacher, hens lay eggs but don't eat them."

certificate

The teacher proved the danger of alcohol to the students. She put a bug in a glass of wine and wriggled.

The bug will die soon. "Do you know what this proves?" She asked the students. Little Carl is here.

Inspiration: "This proves that if people drink alcohol, there will be no roundworms in their stomachs."

Why do rockets run fast?

Teacher: "Baker, why does the rocket run so fast?"

Baker: "whose ass is on fire, don't run hard!" " "

The life span of mice

Teacher: "Bode, do you know how many years a mouse can live?"

Peter: "This question is too simple, it depends on the mind of the old cat."

give tit for tat

In a primary school in California, many students wear stainless steel braces.

Orthodontic surgery.

One day, a teacher tried to get students to answer what "feedback" was and asked for examples.

"Your parents have spent a lot of money to correct your teeth," Tao said.

When you get old, you pay for their dentures. What is this situation called? "

A student replied, "answer blows with blows."

Zunzhong

The teacher asked his students, "Bulls and cows are walking in the fields. This sentence is correct. "

Really? "

Most students replied, "Yes, exactly."

A boy said, "no, it's not like that." It should be said that cows and bulls are walking in the fields.

Otherwise, it is disrespectful to women. "

A female fish

The art teacher drew a fish on the blackboard and then asked the students to draw like that.

Let's go

Delhi sat there motionless, and the teacher said angrily, "You have a week to paint."

100 fish exactly like the one on the blackboard. "

Next week, the teacher asked Delhi to hand over the painting, but Delhi only handed over the blank paper.

There is a fish. The teacher asked, "Why is there only one?"

Delhi replied, "I drew a female fish, which will produce 99 small fish."

Football and dad

Toby's father bought Toby a small football. He took it to school and had a good time.

Very happy.

The teacher came over and touched Toby's head and said, "Toby, you are a pupil."

You are no longer a child in kindergarten, you should know how to care for your classmates. Did you lend your ball to that man?

Dad, poor little boy, okay? "

Toby hesitated for a moment and said, "Can I lend my football to his father instead of him?"

Where's Dad? "

There are enough reasons to be brave.

Teacher Helen asked in Chinese class, "Give me freedom or let me die."

Go, who said this sentence? Please raise your hand if you know. "The classroom was quiet and there was no one there.

Hands up. Teacher Helen was disappointed when a chubby little classmate was unfamiliar with it.

The practiced English answer: "1775, Butrick? 9? 9 Henry said.

"Yes, classmate, now the answer is Japanese students. Your native America

People can't answer, but foreign Japanese students can answer correctly. How much is this?

What a pity! "

At this time, a serious strange cry came from the last few rows of the classroom: "Take the Japanese away!"

Kill it! When Miss Helen heard the cry, she was very angry and shouted, "Who? Who said that? "

After a short silence, an American classmate stood up confidently and said, "1945."

President Truman said in 1960! "

wager

The pig slayer made a bet with the tea seller.

The pig killer said, "A hammer won't break eggs."

The tea seller said, "The hammer is broken!"

The pig killer said, "The hammer won't break!"

Not convinced, the tea seller brought an egg and beat it hard with a hammer. The egg was broken.

Said, "Isn't this broken?"

The pig killer said, "the egg is broken, I said the hammer can't break it!" " "

leaving examination

The detective school held a graduation exam, and one of the questions was: "There is a car on the road.

Fly without lights on. Suddenly, a drunk in black walked into the middle of the road. this

There are no street lamps and no moon. Seeing that the man was about to be knocked down by a car, the car suddenly

But it stopped. What was the reason? "

Someone replied, "Because the drunk's eyes are shining." Others replied, "Because the drunk shouted loudly.

Shout loudly. "This is all wrong. The correct answer is: it was daytime.

Shoot at the target

Wife: "Why close one eye when aiming at the target?"

Husband: "If both eyes are closed, can't you see anything?"

Classroom question and answer

Teacher: "Where is the wool mainly produced in China?"

Student: "On the sheep."

Eyelids are the largest.

Teacher: "What is the biggest thing in the world?"

Student: "Eyelids."

Teacher: "Why?"

Student: "As long as you close your eyes, the whole world will be covered."

worse

A: "What's worse than finding bugs in an apple when you bite it?"

Really? "

B: "Yes! I found that there are only half bugs in it. "

Classroom question and answer

"Children, who knows that camels are different from other animals?" There was silence. old

After a moment of meditation, the teacher further explained, "That is to say, what is another action of the camel?"

What's not there? "

The student replied, "Yes, it's a little camel."