Stupid school sketch lines, so funny.

Student A: Start the class, start the class.

Student B: Eh, class is on, class is on, hurry up.

Student A: Hello, monitor.

Student B: Hello, er, I heard that there is a new head teacher in our class, who is still a woman.

Student A: Whether it's a man or a woman, send her away when she comes.

Student B: Mm-hmm.

Student C: Hey, hello, you two.

Student A Student B: Good morning!

Student C: You are here so early. Hey, have you heard that there is a new head teacher in our class?

Student A Student B: I know, I know, I have known for a long time.

Student C: Well, it's a woman.

Student A Student B: I know, I know.

Student C: Well, why don't we teach her a lesson later? Give her a nickname.

Student A: Well, that's good. That's a good idea. What's that nickname?

Student C: Eh, it's called morning glory.

Student A: Morning glory, too vulgar, too vulgar.

Student B: How about this? Let's call her old hen.

Student A: Ah, old hen.

Student B: Mm-hmm.

Student A: Bird flu is very serious now. Also, dare to call an old hen.

Student C: That's right.

Student B: That's called, er, just call her an old maid.

Student A Student C: OK, OK ~ ~ ~

Student A: This is good, this is good, this is good.

Student B: That's a good idea. Will you cheer later? (pointing to student c)

Student C: I can't.

Student B: Then you call (pointing to student A)

Student A: Me neither.

Student B: Then if you don't scream, neither will she. Who knows.

Student C: Er, yes, the fool will come in a minute. Let him call.

Student B: Well, good idea, good idea.

Student A: That's a good idea.

Student B: Fool, class, class, class.

Stupid student: Here we go. (dancing lap dance) ~ ~ What are you laughing at? Never seen a handsome guy.

Student A: Yes, yes, silly.

Stupid student: Yes.

Student A: There is a new head teacher in our class. We nicknamed her an old maid. She will come later. You can scream.

Idiot student: I won't fight.

Student A: Why?

Idiot student: You always lie to me. Every time I open my mouth, you shut up.

Student A: No, I won't lie to you this time.

Student B Student C: Yes.

Student A: Let's scream together.

Student B Student C: Mm-hmm.

Stupid student: Don't lie to me this time?

Student A, Student B and Student C: Well, yes, I won't lie to you this time. Call together.

Idiot student: OK, let's shout together.

Teacher: Hello, I'm the new head teacher. I heard that the students in this class are particularly difficult to teach, but I am very caring, and I will put my.

Love, to influence them. Hello, classmates!

Student a, student b, student c, fool student: old.

Fool student: virgins are good.

Teacher: Who called the teacher an old maid? Please step forward. (student a, student b and student c stand back together) ~ ~ Please stand, young students.

Get up.

Stupid student: Yes.

Teacher: Little classmate, you stand firm.

Fool student: Teacher: The ground is uneven.

Teacher: Little classmate, you know what an old maid is.

Idiot student: My dad says that people who haven't been treated are called spinsters.

Teacher: I am confident and patient. Students, please go to the office with the teacher.

Idiot student: What for?

Teacher: The teacher invites you to eat chocolate.

Idiot student: Really?

Teacher: Really, come on.

Idiot student: Yes, let's eat chocolate.

Student B: Well, it's called an old maid. Does she still eat chocolate?

Student C: That's right. I know where we were called, too.

Student A: That's right.

Teacher: I'll treat you to chocolate, Dove chocolate and Di Chin chocolate. Eat and eat. You are full. (Come out) I never punish students. Children

You can come out now.

Stupid student: Here we go (dancing).

Student B: Hey, what's wrong with you? Fool.

Student C: Fool, are you all right?

Fool student: The teacher hits people.

Funny sketch lines

A: Everyone has a pair of hands, and everyone has fingers.

B: Nonsense, who doesn't have fingers?

A: Fingers are long and short, big and small.

B: That's right. This is telling the truth with your eyes open.

A: But the more you look at it, the more you like it (thumbs up), and the more you look at it, the more you hate it (index finger).

B: It takes five fingers to make a fist. How can you say love and hate?

Well, you don't know. In my family, my thumb is my father and my forefinger is my mother.

B: Why am I getting confused?

A: For example, one day, I was praised by my teacher in kindergarten. I'm so happy!

I should be happy.

I skipped home and shouted happily, "Mom!" .

B: Then your mother must be very happy.

A: But as soon as the voice fell, the "forefinger" came.

B: Why? Do you still have guests at home?

A: (Holding out the index finger) The index finger is my mother. "What's the matter with you? Your clothes are too dirty. Where have you been? "

Well, your mother is really something.

I'm thirsty. I was just about to eat an apple when the "forefinger" came again.

B: What's the matter?

A: (holding out index finger) "How do you know how to eat? Write quickly. You can't eat until you finish writing! "

B: Not even allowed to eat?

A: I just sat down and wrote two words, and I wanted to pee.

B: well, this urine doesn't live up to expectations

A: Oh, I can't hold it any longer!

B: Then you should go.

A: No. The "index finger" is coming again. (Stretching out index finger) "You child, you are so lazy. Hurry up and do your homework! "

B: Alas!

A: In this way, the repeated appearance of "index finger" made me lose my spirit in doing my homework.

No one will be energetic.

A: The less energetic you are, the more mistakes you make. The more mistakes I make, the more my mother criticizes me.

B: It's called a vicious circle.

Do you think I can stop hating it? (Stretching out index finger)

B: Your forefinger is really boring. What about "thumb"

A: The thumb is different, OK! Very good! Very good! Great! Great! Great! You're amazing!

B: Look! It's refreshing to say it.

No, I just finished my homework when my father came back. Pushing the door open, he smiled and said appreciatively (thumbs up), "You are great, son! You will know how to study when you get home. " One sentence made me feel embarrassed.

Listen, praise is like a ray of sunshine.

A: In order to repay my father, I went to get his slippers, newspaper and turn on the TV-

Look, as long as there is sunshine, he will become smart.

A: As a result, my father praised me again (thumbs up). "My son is so lovely, he just knows how to be considerate. I said, my son is the best! " I heard you, don't say how happy I am!

B: Look how beautiful he is!

Do you think I won't like it? (thumbs up)

I should. Even I envy your thumb.

A: "Thumb" means praise and "forefinger" means criticism.

B: Which child in the world doesn't like praise?

A: So, when I have a son in the future, I will use this more (thumbs up)!

Well, it's still early.

A: Do you think they can be the same?

B: It's different. Even the expression is different. The "thumb" is like this (smiling face) and the "index finger" is like this (losing face).

How I wish my mother did the same! (thumbs up)

Your mother will, so she's here!

A: Ah (scare away)?

Oh, look at him!

Funny lines of Fan Wei's classic sketches

1. The gap between people is so big!

2. Brother, call if you want!

This is a discussion about diseases among patients. What are you meddling in?

4. Brother, I really smoked!

5. It's fate to turn around and sell for a year! I learned it from a pit, thank you! Horizontal approval is: self-taught!

6. Why not play cards according to the routine?

7. Suddenly the sea is vast, and turning back is the shore.

I can't kill you!

9. I don't tell ordinary people.

10. Fool, then fool!

1 1. Jesus. Earth! Which angel sister gave me this tone!

12.IC, Ip, IQ card, tell me all the passwords!

13. Wait ... Wait ... I ... I want to rob you.

14. If you ignore me, I will become a dog.

15. Nothing, it's all in the wine.

16. Alas, it's just ... You think this is ... interesting?

17. Give up the spoon and teach.

18. Dai pleaded guilty.

19. This person stands at different heights, but looks at the problem from different angles!

20. Ignorance, too ignorant, you are old and ignorant! Guess what?

2 1. What is IQ? Give it to me!

22. Marriage is a person's second reincarnation. I didn't vote for your uncle!

23. It is unscientific to look at a woman all her life, and it is easy to see the disease.

24. It's hard for rich people to have no money!

25. This kid is so thoughtful, hurry up … ride the donkey quickly. How can this child do such a small business? I want to do great things!

26. At least I wear glasses. What should I do?

27. If you don't get the favor of lesbians, you will be hurt.

28. I eat carotene and have always been nutritious! Didn't I just see an apple?

29. Isn't this job overbearing?

30. As far as success or failure is concerned, life is heroic, and great ... great people ... start all over again. ...

3 1. If you want to live a decent life, you are not afraid to take some green on your back. Horizontal batch: Ninja Turtles!

32. Is your father big or the city big?

33. Money is a bastard. If not, do it again!

34. You respect me one foot, I respect you one foot, respect other people's personality and set an example!

35. Higher vocational education is not as good as high salary, high salary is not as good as long life, and long life is not as good as happiness.

36. Accompany the next meal and finally accompany the gastroptosis. ...

37. Go your own way and make your ex-wife regret it!

38. what I'm ... I'm ... the bodyguard of the general manager of Kaiyuan Victoria Entertainment Plaza!

39. The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light that every grain is hard; Climbing up a flight of stairs, I looked up and found it was moonlight.

40. Happiness is: I am hungry, and when I see someone holding a meat bun in his hand, he is happier than me; I was cold, and he was happier than me when I saw someone wearing a thick cotton-padded jacket. I want to go to the toilet. It's just a pit. You are happier than me when you squat there.

Feng Gong's Classic Quotations _ Feng Gong's Classic Lines _ That's funny

1 If I were a pussy, I would have fallen in love with me.

My sister-in-law married me. She was my sister-in-law at first.

3 Listen to crosstalk 20, hush 13 thousand, and then add money with a smile!

I am the best film and television in the cross talk field, the best director in the actor field, the most skilled screenwriter and editor in the director field, and the funniest cross talk in the screenwriter field. You have to exert your comprehensive strength these days.

5 cross talk is good! Carry forward the truth, goodness and beauty, and make Huoxiang upright.

6. Fighting earns more than fighting, doesn't it?

What does Mr. 7 want? Stop asking and fry this!

The house where I live is full of holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes it rains too hard, so the whole family takes shelter in the streets.

As soon as Gate 9 opened, two little nurses came down, a beautiful thief, 1 m 7, with big eyes, a small cherry mouth and a small waist strip one nanometer wide, just like a retired stewardess. Look!

10 Just when I was uncomfortable, I saw my girlfriend and was with her boyfriend.

1 1 I don't even believe in punctuation.

12 Why do I always feel unhappy? Is it because I wasn't at home when I was chasing Happyness?

13 I finished my bachelor's degree, master's degree and doctor's degree, and you finished your doctor's degree.

14 a harmonious society should be calm.

15, at most, you are a naked replacement for male number nine. ...

16 I am a scientist, a scientist with a way.

17 Who doesn't know that he hasn't eaten pork?

18 hooligans know martial arts, and no one can stop them. Scientists know martial arts at home, and hooligans can't stop them.

19 Every year, I look for the buddy who looks like Jango to squeeze my face.

It turns out that my itinerary is 1 1 year.

You were eliminated by the women's football team!

If you want to be famous, publish a book first, and something will happen first!

Congratulations, 2 1 friend! Ah, can I wear it? You see, it's just different Much poorer than before.

You are not very white.

After taking part in the work, you can earn 300 thousand.

I looked at the drawings and built a 40-meter chimney, which was finished. People came to have a look and beat me up. The drawings are upside down. They asked me to dig a well.

Flight 24, from Xizhimen to Zhongguancun, the fare is 5 yuan, please board. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants will shout when they stand there. Let's go, let's go. There are big seats, there are big seats.

The relationship between husband and wife is not necessarily good, and it is not necessarily husband and wife who have a good relationship; Crosstalk masters don't necessarily speak crosstalk, and singers don't necessarily know music.

You underestimate me, Feng Gong. I am an artist in Feng Gong, and real art is priceless. You need it as soon as you drop it, as soon as you drop it, depending on how much it costs, right?

After all, dancers are looking for steel pipes.

Who is this group? What do you mean? I have no virtue.

I just often take part in performances (sit down) when I am sick. It's all fake.

Colonel, I didn't go home (sit down) last time my father was critically ill. That's not my real father.

I sent 200 yuan to a child who dropped out of school two days ago (sit down). This child is my nephew.

Colonel, your window glass was broken two days ago. That's how I pretend (sit down). That glass is mine.

There are four plates on the table. Open the first one, oh! Very good! Old vinegar peanuts!

Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts!

Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar!

The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar!

30 low-key! It's the best b show! !

3 1 How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

I stopped the woman walking on the road to rob her. I didn't know it was a laid-off woman until I asked. The more I talk about it, the more pathetic it becomes. Finally, I gave her five dollars.

I admire myself so much that sometimes I kowtow to myself when I look in the mirror!

Why do I often have gum in my eyes? That's my deep love for sleep.

When they went out to pick up things, they lost them.

It takes a lot of effort to say cross talk. I'm sweating here. You watch others not sweat, they are raising.

The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear.

This plane is also diesel.

39 bad lyrics ... use nunchakus. Hum, hum, ha, ha ~ ~ That's it ~ You both died here ~ ~

Mr. Fan's daughter was insulted by hooligans. I stood up with a basket and said, you scared me to death. I thought I was robbing eggs.

4 1 there is no road in the world, and there are many people walking, so it is useless to have a road.

We are born after 80 .. 1880.

In fact, I used to be quite tall, but later I often took a shower and shrunk.

The young man looks like an actor, covering his face.

Look down on everything, and you will be happy. You lost your job, and someone lost their virginity. Your daughter-in-law doesn't want you and she doesn't want me.

46 has an English name, Erbaldy.

What's your name again? Don't say that. You call it a curse.

48 fell, get up and cry again ~ ~ ~

Would you like to be my next ex-girlfriend of 1?

I became a buttonwood tree, and even the phoenix came to me. I don't believe it. I can't let you come back, a bird!

5 1 people are not smart and bald like others.

Teacher, just follow the old woman!

I am used to getting on the kang at home.

Nowadays, many noble daughters with blond hair and blue eyes on the other side of the ocean are crying to get the China green card and throw themselves into the arms of unmarried men in CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

Teacher, you are the devil in my heart. The closer I am to you, the farther I am from the Buddha.

Say another one. What do you mean? Say something practical!

I hate myself, this little tree can't stay, a bird like you.

I'm not RMB, why does everyone like me?