Hainan tour guide joke

In the middle of the night, the cat was awakened by a knock at the door. When it opened the door, it was a mouse. The cat asked angrily, do you want to die? The mouse trembled and said, big brother, buy insurance. The task is too heavy. I really have no choice but to knock on your door! When you go to school, write "English"

Students who read "interest due" became bank presidents;

Those who read "Wash in the Sewer" became vendors of side dishes;

People who read the Theory of Causality become philosophers;

People who read "Hard to Change History" become politicians;

Those who read "Go to England" became overseas Chinese;

And I accidentally read "I should be exhausted" and ended my work ... I worked hard all my life. I wish my friends a happy May Day in advance! Four priests Tang went to travel by plane, and the plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes.

So, the Tang Priest said, let's answer the question, and jump if we can't answer it.

Tang Priest: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky?

Wukong: One.

Tang Priest: OK, here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many moons are there in the sky?

Friar Sand: One.

Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too.

Bajie on the side is so happy, such a simple question.

Tang Priest: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky?

....

Bajie jumped. Before long, the four of them flew to travel again. On the way, they crashed again, with only three parachutes.

They went on answering questions.

Tang Priest: Wukong, when was People's Republic of China (PRC) founded?

Wukong: 1949.

Tang Priest: OK. Here you are.

Tang Priest: Friar Sand, how many people died in the Liberation War?

Friar Sand: 2.5 million people.

Tang Priest: OK, I'll give you one, too.

Tang Priest: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people?

..... Bajie had to jump again.

The third time, the four of them traveled by plane again and had an accident on the way.

Then Pig said, Master, you don't have to ask. I jump by myself.

Then jump.

Tang Priest put his hands together: Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time. One day I saved the Buddha, and the Buddha said, I can make a wish for you.

I said to Buddha: Let all my friends be healthy and happy forever!

Buddha said: only four days! I said, well, spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Buddha said: three days. I said, well, yesterday, today, tomorrow.

Buddha said: no, two days. I said, well, day and night.

Buddha said: no, just one day! I said: good!

The Buddha asked blankly: which day? I said: every day! !

The Buddha cried ... and said: All your friends will be healthy and happy every day! On the Dragon Boat Festival, the unit issued a box of milk and a bag of Thai fragrant rice.

My female colleague is too weak to move. Let me help her carry her back downstairs.

She said to me, "You wait for me downstairs, and I'll go up and have a look. If my husband were here, I would ask him to come down and move. " If he is not here, you'll have to trouble me to carry it up. "

After a while, MM stood on her balcony and shouted, "Come on up!" "

Because she was on the fifth floor, I didn't hear or respond.

So MM roared loudly: "Hey! My husband is not at home, hurry up! "

The words shocked the neighbors and everyone ran to the balcony to watch.

I can't go to school in public, and I can't go. Www.hongchenrensheng.com mobile phone joke short message daquan

MM thought I didn't hear you clearly, so she made a trumpet with her hand over her mouth and shouted even louder:

"Did you hear that? My husband is not at home, hurry up! "

Neighbors are surprised! The boss of China Mobile went to the public toilet, and the doorman said, It costs 30 cents to go in and 20 cents to go out. The boss said blankly, is there a charge for coming out? Grandpa said: learn to move and charge in both directions. When the boss came out of the toilet, he was stopped again: you squatted in pit 8, paid the number selection fee of 1 yuan, farted, paid the roaming fee of 1 yuan, and paid the overtime fee of 1 yuan in more than three minutes. There is background music in the toilet, and the ringtone fee is 20 points. Grandpa advised the boss that if he frequented, it would be more cost-effective to set up a toilet package. The boss was furious: this is the king of that family! Grandpa waved his hand: M-Zone, I am the owner of my site! Stop learning; It's too difficult! Make tofu! Tofu is the safest;

The hard thing to do is dried tofu!

Thin is tofu brain!

Thin is tofu skin!

No, soybean milk!

If it can't be sold, it can also be used as stinky tofu!