College student love problems

Campus love among college students is divorced from reality and has a low success rate. According to surveys, the success rate of love during student days is no more than 8. This is in line with the words of many people who have experienced college students: love in student days is very pure, but also very childish. It pursues romance more and thinks less about practical problems; it thinks more about immediate happiness and less about long-term happiness. Therefore, college students must have a clear understanding of love, grasp it appropriately, and treat it with caution.

College students have little social experience and a narrow scope of communication, which is an important reason why campus love is divorced from reality and has a low success rate. At the same time, although

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However, we call college students “adults”. However, for them who are in adolescence, emotional problems are undoubtedly a difficult problem of "continuous cutting and confusion."

Perhaps every college student who is in love on campus has made an oath to each other with his lover, claiming that his heart will never change despite the death of the stone. Leaving aside the situations where relationships are interrupted mid-college due to personality differences, impact on studies, etc., even relationships that persist until graduation from college will also face the "touchstone" test of graduation employment. Although there are students who have deep feelings for each other, even if they are thousands of miles away, they can still pass on the letter and finally walk on the red carpet; but

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What happens on campus is more Too often, a couple who were once committed to each other end up splitting up and going their separate ways at the time of graduation. A considerable number of students lack confidence in the future due to various reasons, such as their parents' opposition, the distance between their employment units, or the gap between urban and rural areas, etc., and often put a sad end to their love song by cherishing each other. .

2. The contradiction between love and studies is the biggest problem for college students in love. People in love are often in a state of ecstasy, and are "tortured" by longing so that they can't sit still or sleep well. People in love often hope that both parties can stay together forever. "Not seeing each other for one day is like three autumns apart." Therefore, when love comes to college students, they who have great ambitions and shoulder heavy academic tasks cannot help but fall into deep contradictions and confusion. "I want sweet and beautiful love, and I want good academic performance." It is very important for college students to properly handle the relationship between the two and weigh the importance of the two.

3. There are misunderstandings about college students’ love. "Actually, I don't have much confidence in my love and the future of this love." The person who said this may be a college student who is in love, and he may also be humming the song "Nothing Gone Change My Love for You" of moving melody. This love attitude

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is not uncommon among college students today. We have seen that today's college students have a "game attitude" towards love. Because it is difficult to "grasp" love, they do not regard love as the real goal they pursue. It is just a "game after game" in their lives. Dream". It is not difficult to explain why some college students frequently change their love partners on campus. In fact, this is a loss of love and a loss of self.

In love, exclusivity and jealousy are normal psychological reactions, but if these psychological reactions become extreme and mechanical conditioned reflexes, it will be detrimental to both parties

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Harmonious communication of emotions. Some college students want to know the whereabouts of their lovers at all times. Once they find that their lovers talk a few more words to the opposite sex or stay for a while longer, they will think that they are in love with each other and lose their temper; some college students hope that their lovers will always be by their side. He bursts into tears when he neglects himself to watch a football game.

This is one of the misunderstandings of college students' love - exclusive possession, which requires possessing all the feelings, all free time, and all social activity space of the love partner. This kind of misunderstanding may not only hurt the other party, but also cause you to lose yourself because you give yourself completely.

In real life, everyone hopes to have a certain degree of freedom and have time and space at their own disposal; at the same time, in Deep in everyone's heart, there is an open space hiding unknown secrets; and psychologists also warn: Even between very close people, an appropriate psychological distance must be maintained. This is the key to individual survival. Physiological needs. The existence of a sense of distance not only adds aesthetic color to love, but also prevents emotional harm caused by getting too close. College student lovers should love each other with an attitude of equality and tolerance, and love each other with an attitude of respect, understanding, and trust. Only in this way can they achieve the state of mutual understanding, companionship, compatibility, and joy.

How do you view the love problem among college students?

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With the continuous physical and psychological maturity, college students long for the most holy human emotion-love. On today's university campuses, love is no longer an isolated phenomenon.

Love is the physical and psychological needs of college students. The emergence of love has both a physiological and a psychological basis. The physiological basis of love is mainly sexual love, and the psychological basis of love is mainly love. In love, physiological needs are not important. Love with only physiological needs is abnormal. Of course, we do not deny that when people enter adolescence from boyhood, with the emergence of secondary sexual characteristics and the development of sexual consciousness, they will naturally develop feelings for

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Favorability, yearning and admiration for the opposite sex are a normal physiological need for people. True love should be a harmonious and perfect unity of physiology and psychology, that is, the unity of sex and love. The pursuit of ideals and careers by both parties in love, the sense of responsibility, obligation, and morality embodied in life, as well as their respective temperaments, personalities, interests, abilities, etc., are the main factors that trigger love.

There are roughly the following types of love among college students: First, the like-minded type (spiritual type). Pursuing the fit between the spiritual worlds of both parties is the "love characteristic" of this type of college students. Their love emphasizes emotional unity and is based on the same or similar ideals

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, values, interests and hobbies. They value each other's knowledge and talents. , and don’t care much about the other person’s economic conditions, status, and appearance. The second is the emotionally satisfying type (emotional type). Taking love as the condiment of college life, to relieve the loneliness, emptiness, frustration and frustration caused by being away from home, relatives and not adapting to the new environment of the college campus. It seems that from this, in the flowers and the moon, among me and me, college life It will be enriched, which is a concrete manifestation of the love of this kind of college students. The third is material pursuit type (material type). Pay special attention to the material enjoyment that love can bring. When choosing a love partner, you pay special attention to the other person's economic conditions and the social status of the family, and even look forward to it

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In love Asking for money and items from the other party and treating love as pure enjoyment are the basic characteristics of this type of college students' love. The fourth is blindly following the crowd. Everyone else is doing this, so I should do the same, otherwise I will be regarded as falling behind by others. "Blindly following the crowd" is a phenomenon of campus love that occurs due to this typical herd mentality. Some college students start their own love stories by "following the crowd" without any subjective reasons. In our opinion, it may be difficult for such college students to write a love chapter that truly belongs to them.

What kind of love outlook should college students establish? Today, college student love has become a "hot

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hot topic" among students. Taking advantage of the situation is an inevitable choice for university education when faced with the love phenomenon among many students. College students should establish a correct outlook on love, treat love correctly, correctly handle the relationship between love and studies, and handle various problems in love rationally.

1. Cherish feelings.

Only those who know how to cherish love are qualified to taste the nectar of love. When they were students, the two of them never knew each other until they got to know each other, often by accident, and love can sprout on the basis of this accident. It should be cherished, and please don't tear this hard-won beautiful emotion into pieces so casually. As for the attitude of the game, it’s better not to have any! "When you were young, if you loved the last person, please, please treat her gently..." This is a poem written by Xi Murong , you say, shouldn’t that be the case?

2. To know how to love. To love someone from the bottom of your heart, you must care about her (him), love her (him), share joys and sorrows with her (him), and move forward hand in hand. The flower of love requires careful care by both parties. At this point, when college students fall in love, the specific manifestations are that both parties help each other academically and chase after each other; in life, they care about each other and grow up healthily instead of purely pursuing eating, drinking, playing and having fun. This is a waste of money and valuable resources. This kind of love is irresponsible.

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3. Treat love setbacks correctly. Love is not always warm and sunny; love can also be clouded and turn around in thousands of ways. The first reason for frustration in love is unrequited love, which is what we often call unrequited love. One party is deeply in love and cannot extricate themselves, while the other party has no response at all or even a clear rejection. People who fall into unrequited love are always unable to resolve the strong love in their hearts but cannot achieve sexual desire, so they are upset. The second is lovelorn. This is when two parties finally break up due to various reasons after falling in love. Falling out of love is a painful emotional experience that gives people a huge spiritual blow. Some college students turn to alcohol to drown their sorrows because of lovelorn. Some college students fall into despair because of lovelorn. , give up on themselves, and some college students turn to crime due to broken love.

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College students’ love frustration often affects their normal study and life, and affects their physical and mental health. Therefore, it is necessary for us to advise college students: they should pick themselves up in time after being frustrated in love, and they should not give up their pursuits and ideals because of falling out of love.

1. Learn to forget appropriately and reflect on yourself. The past belongs to Death, and the future belongs to you. The past, whether it is joy or pain, whether it is laughter or tears, let it pass. No one can live in the past forever. After falling out of love, you always indulge in the memories of the past.

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Then you will never get out of the shadow of yesterday, and you will not be able to see the blue of today. sky. Learning to forget appropriately will reduce the degree of harm to you, remove the heavy mental shackles in your heart, and shorten the time for you to get back on your feet. Self-reflection is also quite necessary. Some college students sigh and feel extremely regretful after falling out of love. This proves that they have made mistakes in the consequences of falling out of love and are responsible. Reflecting well will help you understand yourself better.

2. You should shift your attention and adjust your focus after falling out of love. Love is not the only thing in life. Besides love, there are many things waiting for us to do. When you are falling out of love, if you always think about falling out of love,

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it will become more complicated and painful. Try to shift your attention and devote more time and energy to study and work. Maybe you will find yourself as soon as possible from being lost, confused, and discouraged, and maybe you will create a new self. In college, there are many people who adjust the focus of their lives after falling out of love, devote their energy to other interests, and achieve extraordinary results.

3. Be confident and focus on the future. People who are lovelorn tend to lose confidence in their emotions and dare not get involved in relationships anymore; people who are lovelorn are also prone to the other side. Due to the blow of lovelorn, they begin to doubt their abilities in other areas and shake their own lives

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Faith, all thoughts are in vain. This is all undesirable. It is better to have loved than not to love at all. Some people say, "A life without regrets is the greatest regret in life."

Life cannot be perfect, and falling out of love is just one of the countless setbacks you may encounter in the course of life. There is no need to close your heart and dare not love again, and there is no need to completely deny yourself. "How can you see a rainbow without going through wind and rain? No one can succeed casually." We think that the same is true for love. Therefore, seize every minute of life and strive to realize the dreams in our hearts!

How to get along with friends of the opposite sex? British writer Xiao

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Bernard once said this about the role of friends: "If you have an apple and I also have an apple, and we exchange these apples with each other, then You and I still have one apple each. But if you have one thought and I have one thought, and we exchange these thoughts with each other, then each of us will have two thoughts. "Friends can exchange thoughts and communicate with each other. Spirits, people who help each other. The famous female writer Bing Xin regards making friends as the top pleasure among the three pleasures in life. Through his interaction with Qu Qiubai, Lu Xun made such a deep sigh: "It is enough to have a confidant in life, and the world should treat him with sympathy." Making academic friends is also very important for college students.

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The interaction between classmates, especially students of the opposite sex, has always been an issue that college students are more concerned about. With the development of the times, this issue is no longer as sensitive as before. . For college students, the unique physiological and psychological characteristics of adolescence make it easier for students of the opposite sex to communicate thoughts and emotions. Therefore, legitimate interactions between men and women should not only be allowed, but also beneficial. Innocent friendship between opposite sexes is not impossible. , the key lies in how to grasp the boundaries between friendship and love. Specifically, you should pay attention to the following points:

Correct your attitude and cultivate a healthy sense of communication. If your thoughts are innocent, your interactions will be natural and generous.

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Both parties must trust and respect each other. The relationship between the two parties is based on the same interests, ideals and mutual respect. There are great differences between men and women in temperament, personality and other aspects. Through communication, they can exchange ideas and improve their personalities. , make mutual progress.

Be generous and decent in your words and deeds. In the process of interacting with the opposite sex, we must abandon the traditional concept of "giving and receiving but not being intimate" between men and women, but we must also follow good social moral norms, always pay attention to our own image, and not do anything that goes against the construction of social moral norms.

You should interact more in group activities and try to avoid

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being alone. If you are alone, you must choose a good environment and place, try not to have long conversations in remote or dark places.

Girls should maintain the beauty of self-esteem and self-love, and be good at protecting themselves, while boys should be more cautious and good at restraint to maintain normal interactions.

In the process of communication, you must be good at learning, analyze and reflect from the other party's behavior, and adjust your own behavior. This will play a useful and complementary role in your own role, which is conducive to individual learning and putting yourself in a better position. The behavior should be placed within the scope permitted by social ethics, and the individual's sense of responsibility towards himself and society should be strengthened.

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In short, heterosexual interactions are an unavoidable issue, and the key lies in how to grasp the right balance. Practice has proven that people who have both same-sex and opposite-sex friends are relatively cheerful, have stronger self-control, are more likely to be mentally balanced, and have less mood swings. By interacting with friends of the opposite sex, you can improve your intellectual activity level, enrich your personality, and improve your personality. Therefore, as long as both parties can correctly view and handle this issue, it will be of great help to their college life.