Any jokes to lighten the mood?

1. Little x went to the bird market. I found a parrot priced at 3 yuan. So he asked the seller: Why is your parrot so cheap? Seller: My parrot is stupid! Damn I taught it for a long time. Until now, I can only say one sentence: Who is it? Little x thought it was cheap anyway, so he bought it. When he got home at night, he thought, "I don't believe in you, I don't believe you!" So Xiao X taught it to say other words overnight. But in the morning, the parrot A still only said: "Who is it?" , so Xiao x got angry, locked the door and went to work. After a while, a gas bill checker (Little Z for short) came. Little Z: Dong Dong Dong... (knock on the door) Parrot: Who is it? Little Z: Check the gas. Parrot: Who is it? Little Z: Check the gas. Parrot: Who is it? Xiao Z: The gas check... At night, Xiao X came back. I saw a man lying on the ground at the door of my house, foaming at the mouth. Little x: Yo~! Who is this? I heard someone say from inside the house: Gas checker. 2. Little x especially likes parrots. One day he went to the bird market and found a parrot selling for 30,000 yuan. He was very curious, so he asked the buyer: Why is your parrot so expensive? Buyer: My parrot is smart! Can say anything. As soon as Xiao When he got home in the evening, he was very happy. Just play with the parrot. Little x: I can walk. Parrot: I can walk. Little x: I can run. Parrot: I can run. Little x: I can fly. Parrot: You are bragging! 3. A man kept a parrot, which was so powerful that it killed all the other birds kept with it. Later, the owner brought back a hawk and rested it with it. When the owner came to take a look, there were parrot feathers hanging outside the cage. The master said: I’m not so awesome this time. But when I looked carefully, I saw that the eagle was dead. The parrot was naked and said: This grandson is really powerful. He really can’t beat this girl without taking off his shirt. 4. There is a bird lover who likes parrots very much. One day he passed by a The bird shop found a parrot being auctioned inside. He saw that the parrot had beautiful fur and decided to buy it, so he shouted: I am willing to pay $10 for this parrot! Then someone called out: I am willing to pay 20 US dollars! The bird lover didn't want to give up the parrot, so he shouted another 30 yuan... But another voice seemed to be against him, and it didn't stop until the bird lover shouted 200 yuan... The man was very happy to buy the parrot, but he suddenly thought: I spent so much money to buy this parrot. If it can't speak, wouldn't I lose a lot? So he went to ask the boss: Boss...can your parrot talk? Then he heard the parrot yell: Can't speak? ! Who do you think was bidding you just now? ! 5. A man was walking on the street and saw a businessman selling parrots. He saw that the parrots were very beautiful and asked the businessman if parrots could talk? The businessman said: Of course! If you don't believe it, hold its right foot. The man followed the instructions and shook the parrot's right foot. The parrot said clearly: Hello! Hello! The man was very happy, and the businessman said: You can hold his left foot again. The man followed the instructions and shook the parrot's left foot, and the parrot said clearly: Goodbye, goodbye... The man was even happier and immediately bought the parrot. After returning home, I was overjoyed. Sometimes I touched the parrot's left foot, and sometimes I touched the parrot's right foot. The parrot also said obediently: Goodbye, hello. Suddenly he had an idea: What would it say if I held its two feet together? He held the parrot's feet. I just heard the parrot say loudly: You want to throw me to death! ? 6. A magician has been working on a small cruise ship for a year or two. For two years, he had the same show every night, and the audience loved him. However, since the audience changes frequently, there is no need for him to rush to learn new tricks. However, a few years later, after long-term observation, the parrot sitting in the back row finally saw the flaws in the magician's tricks and began to expose the magician's tricks in public. For example, when the magician made a bouquet of flowers disappear, the parrot would shout: "Behind him! Behind him!" This made the magician furious, but he was helpless. The parrot belonged to the captain, and he could not touch a single hair on it. One day, the ship leaked water and sank. The magician manages to swim to a floating plank on the water and grabs hold of it. The parrot is standing on the other side of the board.

The two of them stared at each other without saying a word. I drifted on the water like this for three days. On the morning of the fourth day, the parrot finally couldn't help but look at the magician and said: Forget it, I surrender, where did you change the boat? 7. A brothel closed down and everything was auctioned. A young man bought a parrot and took it home. Back home, the parrot started to talk: "The environment has changed, the environment has changed." After hearing this, the young man's mother walked to the living room, and the parrot said again: "The boss's wife has changed, the boss's wife has changed." After the young man's sister heard this, He also came to the living room, and the parrot said again: "The young lady has changed, the young lady has also changed." The young man's father also came to the living room, and the parrot cried: "The old prostitute has not changed, the old prostitute has not changed!"... . 8. Da Li bought a parrot. As soon as he entered the house, he couldn't wait to make the bird talk. "Your speech?" Da Li stretched his neck to tease. The parrot didn't respond. "Your speech is rare." Da Li picked up a worm to lure him. The parrot still didn't respond. "Yours, if you don't speak, you will die!" Da Li threatened with a sullen face. Suddenly, the parrot stiffened its neck and shouted: "Down with Japanese imperialism!"