Humorous jokes

Humorous jokes and jokes can help us to enliven our emotions and make our mood better, so in our ordinary life, we have some fun to enrich our spiritual world. Here are some humorous jokes for everyone.

Humorous jokes 1 1. The so-called good man is not allowed to be cool with his wife, not to make her jealous, not to make concessions in quarrels, and not to be beaten.

Second, I was always looking forward to dropping out of school when I was at school, but I didn't know until I graduated that there was an assignment called overtime, a self-study called further study, and a score called salary.

Third, I just saw a handsome guy riding a big motorcycle, rumbling, with long hair and big sunglasses, shuttling through the streets at eight o'clock in the evening. So fast, so handsome! It's just a little ugly when you get in the ambulance. ...

Fourth, I understand all the reasons, but I can't help looking back after hearing others say that I am handsome.

Mother-in-law gave this cookbook to her daughter-in-law, in order to let her learn to cook. As a result, the daughter-in-law was very shy and said to her mother-in-law: Mom, that's very kind of you. You are so tired every day, and you ask me to order for me. This is inappropriate!

Six, go to the hospital, line up on the bench, suddenly want to fart, but many people are not too embarrassed. So I took out my mobile phone and opened Tom Cat, and the voice was turned up to fart. Just when I was secretly glad that no one had found out. A buddy at the back looked back at me and said, "Brother, what brand of smart phone do you use? I can smell it when it farts. "

After dinner with my girlfriend in the evening, I said, "Wash the dishes later." She said, "Why are you talking to yourself so loudly?"

Eight, I did something that made people speechless today. I accidentally fell asleep at the regular meeting of the unit. When I woke up, I saw the workshop director clapping for me. My colleague next to me told me that the director applauded to make everyone quiet. ...

Nine, send a message to the goddess and don't return. When the buddy heard this, he said to let him come. Then send a message to the goddess: You are one of the three beauties in the school, but I only like you. In less than 30 seconds, the goddess replied: Who are the other two? Why do you only like me?

Ten, briefly introduce yourself, no quality, playing game dishes, bad voice, slow reply to messages, that is, people look good.

Eleven, just saw a couple quarreling under the street lamp, and the boy actually knelt for more than ten minutes to save his heart. I have no backbone. I'm so fucking cowardly. I was so strong that I knelt all night!

12. I talked about a girlfriend recently. Her family doesn't agree, so I'll try to solve it. I hit her chimney with a slingshot during the day and hit her glass with bricks at night. Finally, her father and her brother beat me up. She didn't leave the hospital until the village chief came forward and asked her mother to promise to marry her daughter to me. Don't call me shameless. The risks handed down by ancestors are still quite useful.

Thirteen, go get the money. It's finally my turn. I said to the teller: I withdraw money, and the teller's words almost killed me: don't mention money to me, it hurts my feelings, and if you do, go to the ATM outside, it has no feelings!

At the age of fourteen, my father has been cooking at home. One day, my mother wanted to cook. After reading the teaching, she made up her mind that no matter what the taste is, she must eat it clean and encourage her! When I reached out my chopsticks to a crab, the crab suddenly took the initiative to clamp my chopsticks! I suddenly feel strange. ...

Fifteen, I met a father and daughter on the road. The daughter sat in the back seat of her father's battery car and cried and said, "Dad, I am so ugly. He doesn't like me. " Dad said, "No, no matter how ugly you are, you are dad's daughter!" " "Suddenly, I felt all kinds of smells in my heart, took out my mobile phone and sent a short message to my father, saying," Dad, I am so ugly! " "As a result, my father replied," Nothing, my father is ugly ... "

Humor joke 2 Super funny joke (1)

1, someone killed a chicken, cooked a lot of radishes and invited more than 20 guests to dinner.

The chicken was haunted and went to the ghost king to complain, saying, "My master shouldn't eat with so many people!" "

Lord Yan didn't believe it, and the chicken said, "There are radishes to prove it."

Radish came from the prince. Radish said, "Chicken, you are talking nonsense: I didn't even see your shadow at the party that day!" " "

She is very satisfied with him. Let's go. Okay. He stood up to pay the bill, but his leg was limping.

No wonder he is talented and successful, but he is still single.

While he was paying the bill, she quickly left quietly.

Another year, she met him again. He walked quickly by the hand of the child.

Your leg? She was a little surprised. Legs? What happened to my leg? He was even more surprised.

Later, she learned that he was lame because his leg seat was numb that day.

He has been filming in obscurity all his life, always playing his enemy, with low appearance rate and unknown.

But his happiest thing every day is to see him surrounded by fans in the company asking for autographs and photos. He always smiles and stands quietly waiting for him to show off.

Take off your fans and walk up to him and say, go, the director will scold you if you are late.

It is said that one of them is called Altman and the other is called Little Monster.

There will be a meeting tonight, so don't wait for me.

"Oh, I see." Hang up the phone, she looked at a table carefully prepared dishes in a daze.

I was always so busy that I even forgot my birthday.

The doorbell rang, and I opened it. It was the security guard. He said anxiously, "Someone saw a thief on your balcony."

"Ah?" She was surprised to see the security guards filed in, and soon heard a familiar voice from the balcony: "Who is the thief? I am the boss! Hey, what's up? Don't break my cake ... "

Super interesting humorous jokes (2)

1, what is the unlucky person?

Accompany your wife to buy food and meet your lover; Go shopping with your lover and meet your nephew;

Kiss my sister-in-law and meet my father-in-law; Making out with the nanny was seen by his son;

The driver who took a taxi with the lady was actually a brother-in-law; It was my wife who met a net friend.

Standing under a tall building, I feel sad inside.

My face is wet, too, a little salty. It tastes.

Is it rain or tears? I can't tell the difference either.

Look up at the sky. . .

Damn it! Don't twist anyone's air-dried underwear!

2, hilarious store name

1. Hotel: food village, drunken gang, eating in small steps, eating old rice clearly.

2. Clothing store: According to this shirt and skirt.

3. Teahouse: Jing Tea Bureau, population Pu 'er tea.

4. Barbecue shop: high roast, I roast, want to roast.

3, the older generation of men are like a host, stable and reliable, and the family's economy depends on him alone, and only he can make decisions. Wife and children are just terminals, one

Obey him, everything depends on him.

Men at home are just like PCs at home. They are loyal and only used by their families. Although their functions are not as powerful as the mainframe, their basic functions are enough.

Like a laptop, midnight cowboy is changeable in appearance and expensive, but it is loved by women who are willing to pay a high price. Although he can be carried by women at any time, as long as he is not young.

Heart, will soon be taken away by other women, if there is no password, other women can use him at will.

Rich people are like ATMs. When a woman quarrels, the money automatically runs out. Unless this ATM machine is too old, it will hurt her eyesight for a long time. Of course, most women like ATM men. no

It is said that women worship money, but for the sake of men's self-esteem, there is an ATM woman around them, just like an electronic wallet, which men absolutely love.

Humorous joke 3 1, if you take the initiative, we will have a story; If you are excited, we even have children!

2. Accompany my nephew with his homework. While doing his homework, he asked me, "Uncle, do you have any homework?" I said with a bad smile, "Uncle also has homework, which was arranged by your future aunt!" " "he said excitedly," then let aunt leave you more homework, and it is best to let you taste the taste of endless homework! " "I ... . .

I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner for the first time yesterday. Her parents are at home, and I am a little nervous. I choked when I was eating. . . My girlfriend saw it and quickly gave me a bowl of soup. I swallowed it. Suddenly, her father said kindly, Take your time, son. Do not flush the toilet!

A student always steals melon seeds in my class. I have no manners. If I catch them once, I will catch a lot.

We are not afraid of the teacher, but we are afraid that the teacher will call the parents.

6. One day, several colleagues chatted together and reached the toilet. Suddenly a sister paper said: Why is your men's room so dirty?

7. I passed an ordinary hair salon and planned to get a haircut. I asked the pretty girl: how much is the washing, cutting and blowing? Answer 320, damn, it's too expensive. Sister Mei saw my hesitation and went on to say:

Wash and cut 20, blow 300! I thought it was too expensive, so I turned and left. I turned a few lanes and spent 30 yuan on a haircut, which was also washed, cut and blown. Be careful when you go out, and turn around decisively when you encounter such a black shop.

8. If the fire engine doesn't come, the fire will go out.

9. The wife came out of the toilet and said, "I'm so happy! I pulled out two pounds! " ! No, I have to weigh it. I was really convinced and said, how can you do such a disgusting thing? I've never seen anyone put shit on a scale! Looking up, my wife stood on the electronic scale and looked at me homicidal. . .

10, it is said that during Dayu's reign, floods occurred frequently, and Dayu played house for three times to control floods. His wife misses her husband day and night, looking forward to his return every day, and finally becomes a stone to forget her husband! Dayu finally got a monkey named the Monkey King through hard work!

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

12, I: Why do you think fish always keep their mouths shut?

13, I was on the bus this morning, and there was a beautiful big girl, whose height was 165, and her mouth was watering. Suddenly, I braked suddenly, and my brother jumped on my sister tactfully and said he was sorry, but he was secretly pleased. Sister big mouth: What do you mean by reversing the brakes?

14. I plan to stay in Europe for half a month. I want to ask my friends who have been there. Where did all your money come from?

15. Recently, many people jumped off buildings. Please be careful not to get hit.

16. A rich man specially asked someone to make a set of surgical instruments with pure gold handles before performing abdominal surgery, and said to the medical staff, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'll leave these knives and scissors for you as a souvenir." The rich thought, they will definitely do the operation now, and they don't have to worry about forgetting things in their stomachs anymore.

Halfway through the operation, the surgeon flew into a rage: "Where are all the surgical instruments?"? I haven't finished the operation yet! " !

17, last time I took the subway, I met a deaf-mute begging, but I didn't give it to him. He asked for it from a man in a suit nearby. Without saying anything, I gave it to him, 500 yuan. He shook the grass in surprise and was arrested and taken away.

18. Chatting with the goddess, the goddess said that her hands and feet were sore recently. I asked her what happened. She said she might not sleep well, so I asked her what sleeping position she liked and put her hands there. Have you ironed it? She blushed slightly and didn't answer. Instead, she asked me: Do you know how the hero 108 went to Liangshan? My backhand is a slap. Hum, labor and capital are so busy that they want to trick me into going to see the Water Margin.

19, being a handsome person is very tiring, I really know this.

20. My lover is a stunning beauty. Finally, one day she will marry me on a fire-breathing dinosaur, but I saw her mount, but I didn't see her owner.

2 1, there is a colleague named Qian. When people asked him your last name, he pointed to the money and said my last name was this.

22, people fall in love by looks, by routines, by burning money, and I rely on each other.

23, history must be learned well, maybe what to do if it crosses.

24. The manager met a cleaning lady to clean the elevator. Woman worker: Manager, you go first and I'll tow it. Manager: You'd better stall me first. Several times, manager: let's drag and drag!

25. Just a gust of wind, but so eternal, just a dream, but so real. You bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally can't help but say to you: Next time you fart, let me know!

26. I was in a hurry on my way to work, so I hurried into a shopping mall to find a toilet to solve it, but I was still in a hurry to get into the wrong ladies' room.

27. What's wrong with my short stature? I am short. What's the matter? I am short. What's the matter? I'm short, you can't even lift your head in front of me!

28. The construction team was too irresponsible to decorate the house. My boyfriend quarreled with them and I came to stop the fight.

29. I have never cheated you, because I have never had the need to cheat you.

30. Woman, just don't spoil her too much. My daughter-in-law either wears makeup or buys clothes all day, whether I live or die. Then I quarreled with her and broke the high-end perfume she just bought in a rage. Great, my daughter-in-law walks around me every day, and now someone feeds me with food and water, so I don't even have to go to the toilet myself.