Who can tell me some classic jokes or touching stories?

I don't know how much I can stand on my own feet one day.

Chinese character

My little devil, wandering in the street, was hungry and began to look for restaurants. It arrived at a family.

facet

When I arrived at the door, I saw several big characters written on the water sign at the door: beef noodles, large rows of noodles, simple meals.

He wanted to taste it, so he went in.

The busy waiter ran over and asked, "What noodles would you like to eat, sir?"

"I will eat ..." As he spoke, the little devil wanted to show off his recognition of Chinese characters, so he turned his head to look at the words written vertically on the water label and read horizontally: "I eat a bowl of' cow',' big' and' poop' ..." The voice of wanting to eat "shit" was quite loud, word for word.

So all the diners in the restaurant looked at the little devil in surprise and whispered, "This beast is really fierce!" " "

Answer supplement

One day, the alien leader wanted to attack the earth. He first sent a small soldier to the earth to inquire about the situation. When aliens came to the earth, they happened to meet an old farmer working in a vegetable garden. The alien extended three fingers to the old farmer, the old farmer extended five, the alien extended his thumb and forefinger, and the old farmer extended his thumb. When the old farmer came home, he said to his wife, "Today, I met a clever alien. He asked me for three cucumbers, and I said I would give him five. She said there were eight in all. I praised him for his cleverness. " The aliens returned to their planet in a panic and said to its leader, "Great, today I met a powerful earthman. I said I killed three people today. He said he killed five people. I said I shot him with a gun. He said he killed him with his thumb! ! ~"

My son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: when you grow up, you marry a daughter-in-law and sleep with your mother? A: Yes. Mom said, what about your wife? The son said, let her sleep with her father. Dad said excitedly after listening: children are sensible since childhood.

The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Does nobody know? At this time, a classmate stood up and said, that's because you are calm and naturally cool.