Joke _ 1000 words

The initial reason for further development

Little Tom is very funny, and his grades are always at the bottom. His parents tried many methods to no avail. Finally, parents decided to put their children

Sent to a Catholic school. To their surprise, they got an A. They rushed to their son's room in high spirits.

His progress is exciting.

Dad: Is it because of the nun?

Son: No.

Mom: Is it a prayer before class?

Son: No.

Dad: Is it a textbook, a teacher or a course?

Son: Neither.

Mom: Oh! So, what is the reason?

Son: Well, on the first day of school, I saw a man nailed to the plus sign. I know they are serious.

Two dozen missed.

A priest is playing golf and a nun is watching. The first shot missed. The priest scolded: "TMD, missed!" "

Yes! Hit again, the priest scolded again: "TMD, missed again!" The nun said, "God will punish you for swearing as a priest. "

Yes "The words sound just fell and I heard a thunderbolt chopping the nun to death. The priest wondered: Why am I the one who cursed? Why?

Will chop a nun to death? At this time, I only heard the voice of God from the sky: "TMD, I also missed!" " "

Three wishes

An old couple born in the same year and the same month lived together for 35 years. Today, they held a grand banquet to celebrate their 60th birthday.

Shou. During the dinner, God came. God praised the old couple as a real "loving couple" and promised to give each of them a pair.

Wish. The old lady said excitedly, "We are poor. I just want to have a good look at the world and make a trip around the world. "

God waved his hand, and with a bang, a dozen plane tickets fell into the old lady's hand from the air. It's time for the old man to make a wish and just watch.

He pondered for a while and said, "I want to marry a woman 30 years younger than me." Here comes God again. Bang! ……

The old man suddenly turned 90.

Fourth, don't stop.

There is a girl who is usually strictly controlled by her mother. I was once asked by my boyfriend to go to the movies. When I left home, my mother told me, "Get out.

Be smart when you go. Don't be taken advantage of by men. If he touches you, you say no, if he touches you, you say stop. "Girl!

I still remember that when she came back in the evening, her mother asked her if she had been taken advantage of. The girl cried and said, "Yes, he touched me up and down, and I just."

Do as you taught: don't stop, don't stop. "

50% work and a half.

"Hey, York, was this date a success?"

"It can be said that the success is half done."

"What do you mean?"

"I went this time, but she didn't."

Six questions and six answers

Teacher: "I give my classmates two questions." Whoever answers the first question will not be asked to answer the second question. "

Now I ask the first question: Who knows how many hairs they have? Xiaoli: "I know, I have 99,999 hairs."

Teacher: "How do you know?"

Xiaoli: "Teacher, this is the second question. You can't ask me to answer. "

"ah!"

Seven wonderful words are shocking.

The accounting teacher asked several conceptual questions, and the students' answers were not satisfactory. The teacher was unhappy and said, "The concept is so bad. Future completion

How to be competent in accounting after work, let alone be a boss. Unexpectedly, a lesbian said, "I can be the boss's wife."

All right. "The whole class roar. Suddenly came the voice of a female classmate: "It's ok to be the boss's mother. "

Eight classics test

"Mom, I found that he loves me very much."

"How do you know?"

"Every time he hugs me, I can hear his heartbeat."

"Silly daughter. Be careful, I was cheated when your father hid his pocket watch. "

The logic of nine ugly girls

An ugly girl always likes to buy a seat behind the basket when watching a ball game. Her friend once asked, "Isn't the scenery behind the basket?"

Is it bad? How do you get this kind of seat every time? The ugly woman replied, "Only in this way can I see that man rushing towards me." . "

Ten pursuits

A man pursues a girl, and the girl goes to great pains: "Save it, even if you are the only man in the world, I won't."

Marry you. A man replied rather unpleasantly, "If I were the only man in the world, do you think I would still have a secret crush?"

What about you? "