Kindergarten funny jokes and short dialogues

1. What are some hilarious quotes in kindergarten?

Nowadays, the little friends in kindergarten can be said to be more sophisticated than the other.

Their childishness and innocence can really make us laugh. They can’t lie and always say whatever comes to mind. Let’s take a look at the hilarious quotes from children! 1. I was listening to the radio in the dormitory that day and heard a very young girl requesting a song for her mother. She said that her mother was very hard and could not rest on Sundays. She had to go to the bookstore to buy a lot of exercise books for her to do, so she Just wanted to order a song for her mother. When the host heard this, he was moved and said, "What a sensible child.

What song do you want to order for your mother?" The little girl said in a childish voice, "I want to order Xin Xiaoqi's woman, why are you so embarrassed?" woman". 2. Yudian (female, two and a half years old, a child in the small class of kindergarten) Yudian is only two and a half years old, a child in the small class of kindergarten.

On this day, the students in the small class were playing games. The teacher poured a basket of building blocks on the table for the friends in the small class to play freely. I saw Yudidian arranging the blocks in a horizontal row in front of him and pushing them forward, shouting: "I'm crazy!" 3. Xiaoduo (male, four years old, a child in Class 3 of kindergarten) Xiaoduo and his mother Going out on the street, the mother lost her baby.

Xiaoduo cried and asked the uncles and aunts on the street: "Have you seen my mother? There is a little fat man beside my mother!!" 4. Teacher An An (female teacher of the third class of kindergarten) Teacher An An My boyfriend came to the kindergarten to see Teacher An An today. When the children saw someone coming, they were all eager to show their merit. They ran to Teacher An An and shouted: "Teacher, teacher, your father will pick you up." All the teachers fainted.

5. Dudu (male, four years old, a child in the third class of kindergarten) Dudu VS Ants. Mom asked Dudu to help dry the clothes, but Dudu only watched a group of ants moving insects in the yard. His mother educated him and said: "You see how hard-working ants are and they never waste time playing." Dudu said unconvincedly: "But every time I travel to the countryside, I always encounter They are." Dudu especially liked the beautiful teacher An An. One day he finally got up the courage to tell the teacher: "Teacher, I like you!" Teacher An An teased him and said, "But I don't like children."

Dudu quickly said to Teacher An An: "I will be careful, there will be no children." Teacher An An fainted.

6. Little caterpillars and mother The weather is so nice today, even the little caterpillars ran out to play. Dudu proudly showed Teacher An An a wriggling caterpillar crawling on his hand.

But when Teacher Anan saw the caterpillar, she trembled all over, and quickly said something to tease the children: "Get it outside quickly, its mother must be looking for it." "Dudu turned around and ran out of the classroom, and Teacher An An breathed a sigh of relief.

Unexpectedly, Dudu came in again after a while, with two caterpillars crawling on his arms, and said to Teacher An An: "Teacher, I brought the mother worm here too." 7. Dudu Quotations Dudu’s experience growing up: If you want to buy an expensive toy, it’s better to tell your grandpa than your dad.

Dudu’s ideal: If I grow up to be a girl, I will become a doctor; if I grow up to be a boy, I will become an engineer. Dudu’s views on love when he was three years old: In our family, we only fall in love with relatives. For example, my grandfather, grandmother, uncle and aunt are all relatives.

Dudu’s two-year plan when he was five years old: After I finish kindergarten, I have to start thinking about finding a wife for myself. Dudu’s most shameful past: One afternoon, he was so tired that he fell asleep unknowingly while taking a bowel movement in the kindergarten.

8. Dudu defeated his father: Dad scolded Dudu: "You are so stupid, you are such a little pig! Do you know what a little pig is?" Dudu: "Yes, he is the son of a pig.

9. Dudu is very disdainful of her mother: Mom: "Be careful not to eat the bugs in the apple!" Dudu: "Why should I pay attention?" It's me who should pay attention! 10. An old woman was sitting on a chair in the park. Dudu, who was playing with the children on the lawn, suddenly ran over and asked, "Grandma, are your teeth okay?" The old lady replied kindly: "It's no longer good, it's all gone." "

So Dudu took out a bag of walnuts with confidence and said, "Please get some for me, mother-in-law, and I'll go play ball." 11. My uncle came to the house today and saw Dudu sitting on the ground playing with building blocks seriously, so he asked him casually: "Will your teacher give you music lessons?" Dudu replied: "Of course!" Teacher An An also taught us to sing "Little Duck" last week. "

The little uncle wanted to test him, so he asked Dudu to sing a newly learned song. Dudu thought for a while and seemed a little confused. After a while, he suddenly twisted his waist and swung his hips, He sang with great enthusiasm: "The most beloved woman hurts me the most, why do you love others behind my back..." The little uncle was stunned.

12. In order to cultivate Dudu's artistic accomplishment, my father. Take him to the concert hall to enjoy the violin recital. One hour, two hours passed, and the performers on the stage were still playing... Finally, Dudu couldn't bear it anymore, and he asked loudly: "Dad!" When will he be able to saw that wooden box open? "Dad fainted.

13. Dudu, yesterday he whimsically told Xiaoduo that he wanted to have a baby with the most beautiful girl in the class, Wu Xuanxuan. He actually dragged Teacher An An to Xuanxuan. Xuan Na pointed at the teacher's ring and said to Xuan Xuan: "If you like me, I will give this to you. "

Xuanxuan ignored him and went to find someone else to play with. Dudu suffered this setback and grew hateful because of love. It happened that Xuanxuan didn't come to school for the next few days, so he always said "Xuanxuan" to everyone he met. Has been captured to fight in Iraq

14. Mom asked: “Dudu, do you think the little sister next door is funny? Mom, can you give me a little sister too? Dudu still feels resentful because Xuanxuan refused to marry him, so he replied: "I don't like my little sister." Otherwise, mother, please give birth to a puppy for me. I want it to be white! ! ” 15. Dudu clamored for his mother to buy him a piggy bank. His mother teased Dudu and asked him what he wanted to buy first after saving the money. Dudu excitedly told his mother that he was going to buy sanitary napkins.

“What to buy? ! "My mother opened her eyes wide, thinking she heard wrongly. Dudu replied: "Buy sanitary napkins! It is often said on TV that as long as you use sanitary napkins, you can stand on your head, ride a bicycle, row a boat, and swim freely in the swimming pool..." Mom fainted! 16. Dudu asked his father to take him to the circus.

Dad leaned lazily on the bed, reluctant to move, yawned and said: "No, son, I don't have time. I heard the children say, in the circus One of them doesn’t wear it. 2. Super funny classic quotes from children

Dudu Quotations

Dudu’s experience in growing up: If you want to buy expensive toys, it’s better to tell your grandpa than your dad.

Dudu’s ideal: If I grow up to be a girl, I will become a doctor; if I grow up to be a boy, I will become an engineer

Dudu said this when he was three years old. Views on love: Our family only falls in love with relatives, like my grandfather, grandmother, uncle and aunt are all relatives.

Dudu’s two-year plan when he was five years old: After I finish kindergarten, I have to start thinking about finding a wife for myself.

Dudu’s most shameful past: I was so tired one afternoon that I fell asleep without realizing it while defecating in the kindergarten. p> Dudu defeated Dad:

Dad scolded Dudu: "You are so stupid, you are such a little pig! Do you know what a piggy is? "

Dudu: "I know, he is the son of a pig.

"

Dudu was very disdainful of her mother: Mom: "Be careful not to eat the bugs in the apple!" "

Dudu: "Why should I pay attention? It's me who should pay attention! "

6. I can rest assured that you can do things

An old woman was sitting on a chair in the park. Dudu, who was playing with the children on the lawn, suddenly ran over and asked:

"Mother-in-law, are your teeth okay? The old lady replied kindly: "It's no longer good, it's all gone." "

So Dudu took out a bag of walnuts with confidence and said, "Please get some for me, mother-in-law, and I'll go play ball." "

7. Today my uncle came to the house and saw Dudu sitting on the ground playing with building blocks seriously.

He asked him casually: "Will your teacher give you music lessons? ? "Dudu replied:

"Of course! Teacher An An also taught us to sing "Little Duck" last week. "The little uncle wanted to test him,

so he asked Dudu to sing a newly learned song. Dudu thought for a while and seemed a little confused. After a while,

He suddenly twisted his waist and swayed his hips and sang with great enthusiasm:

"The woman I love most hurts me the most. Why do you love others behind my back..." The little uncle was stunned.

8. Musical cell = 0

In order to cultivate Dudu’s artistic accomplishment, his father took him to the concert hall to enjoy a violin recital.

One hour and two hours passed. , the performers on the stage were still playing non-stop... Finally,

Dudu couldn't bear it anymore, and he asked loudly:

"Dad! When will he be able to saw that wooden box open? "Dad fainted.

9. Love story during the SARS period

Dudu is lustful. Yesterday, he whimsically told Xiaoduo that he wanted to follow the most beautiful girl in the class.

That was when Wu Xuanxuan gave birth. He actually dragged Teacher An An to Xuanxuan,

Pointing to the teacher’s ring, he said to Xuanxuan: “If you like me, I will give you this For you. "

Xuanxuan ignored him and went to find someone else to play with. Dudu suffered this setback and grew hateful because of love.

It happened that Xuanxuan did not come to school for the next few days. When he met anyone, he said that Xuanxuan had been captured to fight in Iraq,

Or that she had SARS and was quarantined. 10. Mom asked: "Dudu, look next door. Is your little sister having fun? Mom, can you give me a little sister too? "

Dudu still feels resentful because Xuanxuan refused to marry him, so he replied: "I don't like my little sister.

Otherwise, mother, please give me a puppy, a white one! ! ” 3. The kindergarten growth manual records interesting conversations or jokes in children’s lives

1. In the kindergarten, a little girl was reciting ancient poems, and I heard her read: “At noon on the hoeing day, the mines were laid.” Soil, Dad walked over and exploded into two hundred and five. . "

2. In class, a teacher was dictating the word "suspect".

He looked at the classmate next to him, and he was furious: "It's a suspect, not a salted fish. meal. ”

3. My younger brother learned adjacent numbers in kindergarten today, so I wanted to test whether he answered correctly.

Finally, I wanted to embarrass him, so I asked him about the adjacent numbers of 0. , he said he had never learned it before.

I told him it was 1 and -1. He was puzzled and said, "Isn't -1 a basement?"

"No."

He suddenly came to his senses and said, "Oh, it's a parking lot! "

4. My daughter brought back a small red flower from the kindergarten and said that the aunt in the kindergarten rewarded her.

I asked: "Why did the aunt reward you? "

The daughter said: "I saw a button fell off my aunt's clothes, so I picked it up and gave it back to her.

My aunt praised her for finding money and gave me a small red flower as a reward. "

After school the next day, my daughter brought back another little red flower. I asked her: "Why is this little red flower a reward for you? "

The daughter said: "Today I stared at my aunt to see if her buttons would fall off. After staring at it for a whole day, it didn't fall off.

But my aunt said that I couldn’t concentrate in class before, but I made great progress today and rewarded me with a little red flower. ” 4. Does anyone have any humorous jokes for kindergarten parents?

Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

Where is the father?

The brothers were looking at some beautiful oil paintings. .

"Look," said the brother, "how beautiful these paintings are! "

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. So where did dad go? "

The brother thought for a while, and then explained: "Obviously, he was painting these paintings at the time. ”