Is it really good for women to let their girlfriends test their husbands?

Love is sometimes a lifetime wait, and sometimes it is just a sad past. The wind comes and goes, and it is always too late for two people to know how much they love each other when they leave.

In love, many people have a wish that their lover is a perfect person. Marriage is the same, everyone wants the other half to be only good to themselves.

This desire is common, but no one can be perfect. Love cannot be wishful thinking. After all, some feelings are just relatively suitable choices, not deep love. When you ask your partner to be perfect, think about whether you are perfect or not. If you are not perfect, how can you ask others?

I have heard people ask me this question many times: Why do some divorced people miss their predecessors? I was desperate to get a divorce, but why did you regret it later?

This is actually the "logic of new love and old love" at work, and the reason why most people regret it is very simple. They didn't find a better new lover after their divorce. In other words, after starting a new relationship, it's still good to find out.

Some people divorce and some remarry, and not all divorced people can remarry. People who don't cherish their feelings will not be cared for by them in the end.

First, she let her best friend test her husband and lost her marriage.

I chatted with a divorced lady for a while and listened to her tell her marriage story. At the beginning, if we hadn't let our girlfriends test our husbands, the couple wouldn't have divorced and wouldn't have today's regrets.

She asked me: I am really confused. What kind of man can a woman marry to make her marriage happy? I have been entangled between my ex-husband and boyfriend, I don't know how to choose, and I missed the opportunity to save my marriage. Now I really want to go back to my ex-husband, but he fell in love with my best friend. My boyfriend won't let me go, and I feel bad.

Judging from her problems alone, this lady has no idea what she wants. Therefore, with her mentality, it is difficult to get the so-called happiness with whoever she marries.

In fact, as long as two people have good character and are willing to take care of their families sincerely, they can be happy when they marry anyone. On the other hand, marrying anyone will not be happy.

This lady, call her Yuanyuan for the time being, is 28 years old. She is married 1 year and has no children. Now Yuanyuan has been divorced 1 for many years. Divorce is because the husband made an unforgivable emotional mistake and chatted with his best friend. Yuanyuan seized this reason and cruelly divorced her husband.

At the beginning of the divorce, Yuanyuan thought that she was finally free and could find someone to fall in love with. In Yuanyuan's heart, the ex-boyfriend is the most suitable for him.

However, after the divorce, life changed beyond Yuanyuan's expectation, and she could no longer use clothes to get enough food. Although she was with her ex-boyfriend, it took her some time to know that her ex-boyfriend didn't love her. Although she fell in love with another boyfriend, she missed her ex-husband more and more and wanted to go back and remarry and live a good life.

Some roads in feelings can only go forward, not backward. Even if Yuanyuan wants to remarry, it's hard. The ex-husband is with her former best friend, and he no longer accepts yuan. Whenever Yuanyuan sees a beautiful and loving girlfriend in her circle of friends, she regrets and hates that girlfriend for ruining her marriage.

Yuan Yuan said: My ex-husband and I used to really love each other. I regret thinking of my ex-boyfriend. I always hope that my husband will make a mistake and then find a chance to divorce him. I asked my best friend to test whether my husband is really good to me. I didn't expect them to be in love. If my best friend is still a friend, she can't be so cruel and should give my husband back to me.

Second, feelings are the most taboo.

From the perspective of marriage, this kind of emotional experience of roundness is not uncommon.

After all, from love to marriage is a selective test. Many lovers are lost in reality, and Yuanyuan is no exception.

Yuanyuan, like those who were "temporarily confused", lost her marriage because she didn't pay attention to her marriage feelings. After a while, you will regret your choice.

Looking back, at the age of 25, Yuanyuan met her husband (ex-husband) and her husband began to pursue her. Sisters all say that this man is good, his family is good, his job is good, and he is suitable for marriage.

Although Yuanyuan already has a boyfriend, she is moved by her husband. She is going to accept her husband's pursuit and then marry him. In the envy of her sisters, Yuanyuan broke up with her boyfriend, and she wanted to catch a new love.

Ex-boyfriend doesn't want to break up, round and sad. However, under the persuasion of others again and again, Yuanyuan left her boyfriend and ended her four-year love.

Yuan Yuan said: We are no longer children. Love is not equal to marriage. I understand this truth. When you are old, you should think about getting married. I have been in love with my ex-boyfriend for four years, which is enough time. I don't want to last forever, I just want to have it. Even if my ex-boyfriend doesn't want to break up, I can't give up a bright future. Who is to blame? Blame the ex-boyfriend's family conditions are not as good as her husband's. I loved him for four years, and he gave me nothing. Can't blame me for being cruel.

In order to let her boyfriend go, Yuanyuan promised him that if I have difficulties in the future, I will come back to you. If one day, I am willing to marry you and never part. The ex-boyfriend was disheartened and had to agree to break up.

After breaking up with her ex-boyfriend, Yuanyuan turned and fell in love with her husband. Less than 1 year, Yuanyuan married her husband with the blessing of her sisters.

Whether before marriage or after marriage, feelings are most afraid of three changes. People who change their minds easily in love are also easy to change their minds in marriage. Although Yuanyuan is married, she misses her ex-boyfriend very much.

Third, marriage feelings should not be tempted by outsiders.

Yuanyuan once felt very happy at the beginning of this marriage, just like many women who caught love. My husband has money, a house and a car at home, and everything is lacking in life. The husband's family is very kind to Yuanyuan, and her husband has to pick her up at work every day.

In others' eyes, Yuanyuan is happy enough. It's just Yuanyuan is a little selfish. She doesn't want to have children so young. She loves beauty and is worried that having children will affect her figure.

My husband can let her go for the time being, but my mother-in-law wants to see the children early. The round heart is gradually filled with sadness. She felt that she was not free at all and even began to regret marrying her husband.

Yuan Yuan said: I always compare my own shortcomings with the advantages of others, and I always feel that marriage should not be like this. What's the use of getting married if I don't even have this freedom?

Yuan Yuan gradually has a heart. She loves beauty very much, but her mother-in-law just wants her to have a baby as soon as possible. Those days were very tangled, and my mother-in-law often said in front of Yuanyuan and her husband.

Yuanyuan is very helpless. She feels that marriage is unfair to herself. She complained to her ex-boyfriend, who supported her to follow her heart. Don't be in such a hurry, don't want children and don't be afraid of your mother-in-law.

Yuan Yuan is very moved by her ex-boyfriend's concern, and she regrets the previous breakup. The sisters of Yuanyuan unit gradually saw Yuanyuan's entanglement, and some people advised her not to compromise with her mother-in-law. Some people also advised her that it is no big deal to have children, which is the obligation and responsibility of marriage. Even if you have to have one for yourself, you won't have children for him. You will regret that your husband doesn't love you in the future.

Yuanyuan is even more entangled. She is really afraid that dragging on will make her husband angry. But when it comes to having children, she is reluctant to part with it.

There is a sister who has a good relationship with Yuanyuan. They are like girlfriends. My best friend said to Yuanyuan, I think your husband is fine, but men change their minds easily. Don't be naive, let you have a baby.

Yuanyuan had an idea. She asked her best friend to help her test her husband to see how much he loves herself. My best friend hesitated for a long time and agreed. She started chatting and gradually changed the marriage relationship between Yuanyuan and her husband.

Fourth, after the divorce, envy your best friend.

In those days, round girlfriends often chatted with their husbands. Because there is an agreement in advance, girlfriends will show Yuanyuan their content after chatting. Yuanyuan didn't know they had a story until one day her best friend wouldn't let her read it.

Yuan Yuan said: I trust her so much, but she always wants to avoid me. She is not real. She wouldn't let me see what her husband said to her. There must be a ghost in her heart. I didn't take it seriously at first, and even laughed at her in my heart, and you didn't look at you!

At that time, Yuanyuan was not idle, and her ex-boyfriend began to care about her. Two people meet occasionally, and gradually let her rediscover the beauty of those four years of love.

Yuan Yuan said: My best friend won't let me see what she said to my husband. Actually, I don't care. I hope my husband makes a mistake and gives me a reason for divorce. To tell the truth, I fell in love with my ex-boyfriend again. His family also bought a house and a car, and the conditions were not too bad.

In love, the human heart can tolerate everything. It's just that although the human heart can be infinite, it's easy to get lost if the heart is too big. Many marriages are made by oneself, just like Yuanyuan's divorce process.

Yuan Yuan said: My best friend resigned and left the first 10 month after my husband got married. She is naive. I threw my used things to her, and she turned waste into treasure. What a ridiculous thing. I know she went to sing with my husband. They made the final decision when they sang, and a story that should not have happened happened.

Seeing that the time is ripe, Yuan Yuan always looks for opportunities to tentatively ask her husband in those days: If you become someone else's boyfriend, then let's forget each other. Do you think it's okay?

My husband replied that of course. Although Yuanyuan was surprised by this answer, she was also very happy.

One day, because of a little quarrel between husband and wife, Yuanyuan began to accuse her husband of doing something that hurt her marital feelings and filed for divorce. Husband said Yuanyuan was unreasonable, but Yuanyuan said the original plan. I have asked my best friend to test you for a long time. I know everything about you. I can't forgive you.

Water under the bridge. Yuan Yuan's husband also readily admitted it. Husband said to Yuan Yuan, your best friend told me a long time ago, and you really should go. I was embarrassed to bring up the divorce directly, but now you'd better go to your ex-boyfriend. Don't make yourself so miserable. I also know about you and your ex-boyfriend. Your best friend told me everything.

It is said that strategy is a serial game, and public plans are the most difficult to prevent. Because both husband and wife make mistakes, divorce is also AA system. After the divorce, Yuanyuan gradually began to envy that best friend. She wants to go back to her ex-husband, fall in love again and remarry with him.

Fifth, the first marriage is too casual, and the subsequent relationship is even worse.

After getting married 13 months, Yuanyuan divorced her husband. On the second day of divorce, her ex-boyfriend invited Yuanyuan to dinner to celebrate with her. Yuanyuan feels lucky. She thinks divorce is right. But whether the emotional path is correct or not depends on how to go in the future. Six months after the divorce, Yuanyuan regretted it.

Yuan Yuan said: I was confused for a moment and believed what my ex-boyfriend said. My marriage was ruined by my best friend and ex-boyfriend, and I regret it. My ex-boyfriend is not honest with me, but he cheats on my feelings when he has a girlfriend. He forgot our agreement, I divorced him, but he didn't love me. Actually, I'm tired of it, too Let's break up. I don't want to give up. I want to start chasing love again and make my husband and ex-boyfriend regret it.

After breaking up with her ex-boyfriend again, Yuanyuan soon found another boyfriend. But he can't make clothes for Yuanyuan to make a living, and he has no other ideas except saying "I love you" occasionally.

Now Yuanyuan has been divorced 1 year, and she wants to go back to her ex-husband, but that best friend has become her ex-husband's real girlfriend. The current boyfriend doesn't want to break up, and Yuan Yuan is very tangled.

Yuan Yuan said: Since the Chinese New Year, I have been watching the circle of friends of that best friend every day. Her ex-husband often cooks big meals for her, and she says she is very happy. How can there be such a cheeky person? Thanks to me, I regard her as my best friend. She is not real. I regret hearing her story and being robbed of my love by her. Now that I think about it, how sad I am. I admit that I am jealous of her. I didn't expect them to get married together soon.

The round experience shows that the first marriage does not know how to cherish, and the subsequent feelings are often more unbearable. Yuan Yuan knew that she regretted it, but it was irreparable. The best friend didn't give her a chance to turn over. Besides, her ex-husband has seen through her and won't accept her anymore.

It is of little significance to suggest Yuanyuan not to regret and not to miss what has been lost. Now that you have a boyfriend, you should cherish this relationship. After marriage in the future, as long as husband and wife are United, they can also create happiness. Run for happiness by your own efforts, and let your ex-husband regret it.

Yuan Yuan said: Even if I get married, I won't marry my current boyfriend. ...

What are divorced people afraid of?

What do divorcees fear most? I don't think I'll ever meet anyone better.

If they can meet the ideal person and live a better life after divorce, they won't regret it. So this kind of regret is meaningless, but it only increases sadness.

So, what is happiness and what is misfortune in marriage?

In sincere love, happiness is very simple, and misfortune is the most difficult.

The key to some problems in marriage is attitude. Cheer up one thing, do it well all your life, choose the right angle and direction, and have no regrets all the way. This is called happiness. It is also a kind of happiness for husband and wife to grow old together without hurting or disturbing anyone.

For those who take the initiative to divorce, they will never understand this happiness. As some people say, they don't understand how happy it is to live with someone forever. Because they missed a love that should last forever. Everyone knows that love is not equal to marriage, but love and marriage are in the same strain. If you are selfish when you are in love, you will probably not be happy in the future. If you don't cherish feelings, you won't be cherished.