Laughter classical Chinese

1. Humorous classical Chinese tells a new story. Master Xie got together on a cold snowy day and told his children the meaning of paper.

Suddenly it began to snow, and Gong said cheerfully, "What is snow like?" ? "Brother Hu said," Sprinkling salt in the air can be simulated. Brother and daughter said that if catkins were not due to the wind.

"Laugh loudly. Compare the catkins in spring to the snow in winter ... If you are a girl, you have to take a nap today. If you don't leave me, fuck you, you will have no less than two or three sentences.

Anger also, people who take a nap, not only me, but also the focus. What's more, I haven't lost my mind, and I am very wronged. What can you do? If you really have the ability, why are more than half of the students lying on the chopping board? Six out of ten people hate you. Are you okay? Its number can be seen.

Let bygones be bygones, but today's events are hateful and make me angry. Mother is sincere, and mother is not happy.

A meat thief went to Beijing to sell meat, stopped to urinate in front of a toilet on the side of the road and hung the meat outside. Seeing this, the second man stole the meat.

Before he went far, A came out of the toilet, grabbed B and asked B if he had seen anyone take his meat from the toilet. B was afraid that A would see through, so he put the meat in his mouth early and said impatiently, "You are such an idiot! How to hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you put meat in your mouth like me, is there any reason to lose it? " -Han Weiyuchun's "Laughing Forest" name game Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, is very eloquent, especially good at word games.

When he is not the king, he tries to play with the king, a senior minister. Wang laughed at the name and said, "Your name is Zhicai. What's the point? In my opinion, it is similar to call it' lack of talent'. "

Hearing this, he immediately laughed at Wang's surname: "The word Wang is added to the left of the word, 呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄2157

On another occasion, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was present. During the dinner, Lu Yuanming made fun of his surname and said, "The word' Xu' means not entering the people (Wei added' Yu' and' Jin')."

He immediately mocked Yuan Ming's surname-the word "Lu": "The word" Lu "means that" An "prints a public character as" Lu ",and then matches it with a horse as a donkey." Lu Yuanming was flushed and speechless, and the people in the room laughed their heads off.

-Old title Sui Houbai's "Qi Yan Lu" Bird's Nest and Calf Hou Bai later became an official in the Tang Dynasty and often worked with people in solve riddles on the lanterns. Hou Baixian made three chapters for everyone: "What you guess must be a visible object; Second, you can't make empty explanations to confuse everyone; Third, if the explanation is finished, but you can't see this thing, you should be punished. " Then he first made a riddle: "The back is as big as a house, the abdomen is as big as a pillow (the crossbar behind the car), and the mouth is as big as a cup."

Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed right. They all said, "Where is an object with a mouth as big as a cup and a back as big as a room?" There is no such thing. You must make a bet with all of us. Hou Bai finished gambling with everyone and explained, "This is a swallow's nest. "

They burst out laughing. On another occasion, Hou Bai attended a large banquet.

During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for entertainment. What you guess can neither be strange nor difficult to understand, nor can it be abstract and untrue.

Hou Bai replied, "There is something as big as a dog and looks like an ox. What is this? " Everyone has been speculating, some say it's roe deer, others say it's deer, but they are all denied.

Let Hou Bai tell the answer. Hou Bai laughed and said, "This is a calf."

-The old title "Qi" by Sui Houbai asks for the name of Tianbao. In his early years, the famous secret supervisor He wrote to the court and wanted to retire to his hometown of Wuzhong. Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated everything differently.

When He Zhangzhi left, he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, and his eyes were full of tears. Tang Xuanzong asked him what other requirements he had.

Zhang Zhi said: "I know that Zhang Zhang has a son who hasn't been named yet. If your majesty gives it a name, I will be honored to return to China. " Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of Tao. Blessed people have faith.

Qing's son should be called Fu. "Know chapter thank humbly.

It took me a long time to realize. I thought to myself, "The emperor is so happy with me. I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is the word' claw' followed by the word' zi'.

He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? -Gao Songyi's "Living in Groups" does not know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to write poems. One day, Ai Zi swam between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel.

In the evening, he heard someone talking next door: "A song." After a while, he said, "One more song."

Ai Zi was baffled and sleepy all night. Lying until dawn, * * * heard the man in the next room say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs.

Ai Zi thought that the man in the next room must be a poet. He was quietly absorbed in poetry at the foot of the mountain, and he felt respect in his heart. He also liked this man's quick thinking and decided to get to know him. Early in the morning, Ai Zi got dressed and got up, adjusted her crown belt and stood at the door to meet her.

Soon, a peddler-like man came out of the next room, thin and ill. Ai Zi was disappointed, thinking: With this respect, you look like a poet. Perhaps, people can't judge people by their appearances, and they can't guess blindly.

He went up to him and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems." Can I see them? " The man said, "I'm a businessman and I never know what poetry is."

Has refused to come up with poetry. Ai Zi stubbornly said, "I heard you say' one' in the house last night, and then you said' one'. Isn't that a poem? " Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood.

Last night, my stomach was upset. Every time I have diarrhea, I can't find toilet paper at night, so I wipe it with my hands. Diarrhea lasted all night, and my hands were dyed almost six or seven times.

When I say' hand', I don't mean the first poem. "Ziyi listened, ashamed.

-The Word Game of Lao Shi's Essays on Ai Zi Su Dongpo heard that Wang's Essays on Words had just been written, so he went to the office to congratulate him and joked: "In the masterpiece, it is said that' bamboo' whips and' horses' are' Benedict'. But I still have a question: "I don't know what's so funny about whipping dogs with bamboo?" Gong Jing just laughed and asked, "Is there any evidence that the word' pigeon' is changed from' bird' to' nine'? Dongpo immediately replied, "The Book of Songs says,' The dead pigeon is in mulberry, and his son is seven'. Together with their parents, it is exactly nine. "

2. Humorous and short classical Chinese can boast.

original text

When a person gets lost and meets a mute, he doesn't answer questions, but only gives directions by making money gestures with his hands as a sign of getting money. This person is metaphorical, that is, he uses it to count money. The dumb man opened his mouth to show the way, and the man asked, "Why don't you have the money to pretend to be dumb?" Dumb: "In today's world, talk if you have money!" "

translate

A man lost his way and met a "mute" who asked and didn't answer. The "dumb" will only ask for money with his hand, and then he will show the way. The lost man understood the meaning and immediately took out a few dollars and gave it to the "dumb". "Dumb" then asked for directions, and the lost man asked, "Why pretend to be dumb?" "Dumb" said: "In today's world, you can talk if you have money."

Excerpted from Laughing at Guang Lin Collection, Laughing at Guang Lin Collection was collected by the owners of the famous brand games in Qing Dynasty, mostly from jokes in Ming and Qing Dynasties.

3. Recommend some humorous stories in classical Chinese and their translations.

Taoist, monk, beard crossed the river. Suddenly, when the wind blew, the boat was about to capsize, and monks and Taoists panicked. They threw the scriptures into the river and asked God for help. There is nothing to throw at the beard, just tear it off one by one and throw it into the river. The monk asked, "What's the use of pulling out a beard?" The man said, "I throw my hair (anchor) here."

Translation:

A Taoist priest, a monk and a bearded man were crossing the river when suddenly they met a strong wind and the ship was about to sink. Monks and Taoists are afraid. Hurriedly throw the scriptures into the river and ask God for help. Beard had nothing to throw, so he tore it off and threw it into the river. The monk asked him, "Why did you pull out your beard?" The beard replied, "I threw my hair here."

2. Cross the bridge

A countryman came back from the city and said to his wife, "I sneezed countless times in the city." The wife said, "I miss you at home." He walked across the dangerous bridge with dung on his shoulder every day. After repeating it several times, he almost slipped. Instead, he scolded, "Sao Hua Niang, even if you miss me, you have to see what it is!" "

Translation:

A countryman came home from the city and said to his wife, "I sneezed several times when I was in the city." The wife said, "That's all because I miss you at home." One day, he picked up a load of dung and walked across a rickety bridge. Suddenly he sneezed a few times and almost fell into the river. He scolded: "this slut, even if I want to, I have to see where it is!" "

3, taboo deafness

Deaf and dumb people want to hide their secrets. If you have been deaf for a day, you can sing a song and the dumb will know that you are deaf. You can tie a knot by opening and closing your lips and clapping your hands. The deaf will listen for a long time. Seeing that his lips stopped, he praised: "Wonderful, wonderful. I haven't heard good news for a long time, and today is even better. "

Translation:

The deaf envy themselves for being deaf, and the dumb envy themselves for being dumb. One day, the deaf saw the mute and begged him to sing a song, which was actually a mockery of his shortcomings. Knowing that the other person is deaf, the mute closes his lips one by one, beats his hands and pretends to sing. The deaf also pretend to listen. Seeing the mute's lips motionless, he praised him and said, "Great, I haven't heard your wonderful singing for a long time, and I have made progress today."

Step 4 yawn

A deaf man went to visit a friend. The dog barks when it sees it. He was at a loss. Meet the host. After the ceremony, he said, "Your family respects dogs. I don't think they slept last night. " The host asked, "What do I think?" Answer: "When I saw my brother, only 32313353236313431303231363535858685e5aeb93133336396339 called.

Translation:

A deaf man went to visit a friend. My friend's dog saw him barking, but the deaf didn't notice him. After entering the back room to see the owner bow to each other, he said to the owner, "Does your dog think he didn't sleep last night?" The host asked, "What do I think?" The deaf man said, "The dog kept yawning when he saw his little brother."

Step 5 ask for directions

A nearsighted man got lost and saw a crow parked on a stone by the roadside. He suspected that it was human, so he repeatedly called him names. After a while, the crow flew away, and the man said, "I asked you to disagree. Your hat was blown away by the wind, so I won't tell you."

Translation:

A nearsighted man lost his way and saw a crow standing on a stone by the roadside. He thought it was a man, so he asked for directions. I asked several times, but no one answered. After a while, the crow flew away. Myopia said to himself, "Hum, I asked you if you didn't agree just now. Your hat was blown away by the wind, so I won't tell you. "

4. What does it mean to eat classical Chinese? In ancient Chinese, eating has the following meanings:

1 stuttering. Historical Records, Prime Minister Zhang Liechuan: "(Zhou) is often eaten and angry:' I can't speak, but I don't know its future.' "

② Laughter. Ying Ning, Pu Songling's Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio: "But eating in the room makes Ying Ning laugh."

3 eat. Jia Yi's "New Book Ear Bi": "The king of Yue is poor, and even the grass is eaten."

4 feelings; Suffering from "Cui Ning was wrongly chopped by a popular novel in Beijing": "It is not surprising to knock at the door in the middle of the night."

⑤ means passive. "Intelligence and Birth Outline": "You said it several times and we ate it."

To file a lawsuit means to be accused of punishment or imprisonment.

Eat greedily. —— The above is excerpted from the Dictionary of Ancient Chinese.

I hope I can help the landlord!

5. Classical Chinese about snow (self-created) night snow

Late at night, I suddenly saw feathers floating. Doubt: What is it? As a result, I crossed it out. Soon, things like white fell into the nose. Take it off and have a look. Wet and thick, white and slightly cold, freeze it. Look up into the distance. A little white thing floats with the cold, just like white. A few miles away, white fog rose from the top. Xu Miao puts on white clothes to keep them warm.

At this time, I shouted: "White clouds are falling from the sky, and warm spring is not far away." Look down at the lower limbs. It's not over yet. Look at the clothes, white shawl.

The night snow didn't stop, but it still danced smartly.

Cold air enters the body, cough it. Turn around and go back to the house Stand by windows, pens and ink. Looking out of the window, he sighed in a low voice: "This scene should have been in the fairy palace, and it would be beautiful with the land."

If it lasts a long time, the sound will reach the sky. White said with a smile: "Hard work will eventually solve it!"

The window is bright and snowy, and the cold is warm. The snow stopped and the spring breeze came.

I am a sixth-grade student. Please forgive my poor writing. )