Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - Who has the corresponding funny or classic popular online quotations, such as roaring body, ordinary object and so on. Eager for something in return.

Who has the corresponding funny or classic popular online quotations, such as roaring body, ordinary object and so on. Eager for something in return.

No matter what I do, you have to treat me like a human being, right?

Our feelings are as strong as RMB.

Good looks are good-looking, but ugly.

No one who doesn't know him has ever eaten pork.

Do they have a family style? If you don't pick things up in the aisle, you will lose them.

Your shameless appearance has my youthful charm.

You have a good physique. I can see at a glance that you will live to death.

The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

The young man looks like an actor with his face covered. ...

How dare you join the beggar's gang! Dressed up very well!

Speak louder. You don't need electricity!

If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

I used to talk. I thought I was blind.

Little girl, give me a smile. If you don't laugh, I'll give you a smile.

Diligent, I just spend other people's coffee time on beer.

If I don't beat you, I will turn against you.

No sooner had I taken off my cotton trousers than Miss Chun came!

Relax, I'm not a good person.

I never bully the weak ~ ~ ~ I didn't know he was weaker than me before I bullied him …

A gentleman is just a patient wolf.

I'm not RMB, why does everyone like me?

Why not find a quiet place and count the brain cells by yourself?

The road to success is always under construction.

There are always a few mistakes in the long road of life.

People can't extricate themselves, in addition to teeth, there is love.

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.

There is no windtight wall, no hanging beam.

Yell when the road is rough, and then walk on.

Is it necessary to be big? Dinosaurs didn't go extinct as usual!

Don't talk to me about feelings. It hurts money.

I was pulled out before I could flirt.

Women like ugly men and don't like ugly men.

I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be princesses when they see me?

Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.

If you look like a steamed stuffed bun, don't blame the dog for following you

Close my eyes and I see my future. ......

The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

Lie down where you fell.

Interpretation is cover-up, and cover-up is telling stories!

Fall down, get up and cry.

You told me to get out, I got out, you told me to come back, sorry, I got out!

I have lived for more than 20 years and have never done anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.

Say it out loud if you love me! Hate me and hide it in your heart all your life!

Do all the bad things you can while you are young. There are only a few years left.

Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you.

There are only two things in my life, 1, this will not be 2, and that will not be either.

I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, but I have been following the rules for so many years.

Whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it for the rest of his life.

I take my sunny path, and you cross your Naihe Bridge.

The simplest secret of longevity-keep breathing and don't die.

Is money really that important to you? I talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind.

A: I'm perfect, but no matter what you say, I'm perfect ~ ~ B: Which two beauties do I lack? Inner beauty and outer beauty ... b: ...

According to the law, men can get married at the age of 22, but they can be soldiers at the age of 18. This illustrates three problems: first, being a man is more difficult than killing people; Second, it is more difficult to live than to fight; Third, it is more difficult to deal with women than with enemies!

Shh, don't tell them I did something good, or it will affect my image ~!

Fish said: you can't see the tears in my eyes because I am in the water; Water said: I can feel your tears because you are in my heart. The pot said: it's all TM cooked, and there's still so much nonsense ~!

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, and the world has the Great Wall.

Please don't ask him to use his brain-his left brain is full of water and his right brain is full of flour. He just moves easily and everything is paste.

I'll help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve.

There is no windtight wall, no hanging beam.

When you slip and become a cripple, you turn around and flash your waist.

I don't like to tidy my room. They all call me a messy room hero.

Hope is like fire, disappointment is like smoke, and life is like fire and smoke. ...

Rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

The iron cock will leave some rust. You are a stainless steel cock.

Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of encephalopathy is that they must have brains.

Lie down where you fell.

If you have money, you have no home. If you have no money, worship God.

I laughed at the sky from the horizontal knife and went to bed after laughing!

I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to the boss.

I will have a son named "handsome" in the future, and others will say, "handsome dad!" "

I really don't want to despise you with my toes. But, man, you made me do it.

I really want to call your grandfather myself: "Dad!"

After all, I can't outrun that BMW, so I can only watch it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

I sat on a stone 150 million years ago for an afternoon …

Flowers often do not belong to those who appreciate them, but to cow dung.

Now the master's degree is like a grain of rice on the soles of your feet. It's uncomfortable not to eat, and you can't eat after eating.

Nowadays, the more clothes a girl wears, the more she shows. The less clothes, the less exposed!

Miss's beard is so euphemistic, she must be a lady!

I am short of money and women, but I am not fucking wicked!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for your family, thank you for your ancestors for 18 generations. Have you ever seen anyone thank you like this? )

My heart is full of love, and all the beautiful women in the world are lovers.

Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it itches but I can't catch it. What's more, for a long time, neither the soul nor the body felt itchy.

The beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

What would face do if it wasn't for making money …

Choose a mature woman, the skirt is easy to pull.

If you want to wander the Jianghu, you'd better be single! !

Confused, don't pursue the truth … the truth is a bitch!

You can't be hungry for a penny of porridge ~!

When I woke up, it was dark.

You can't eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man is eaten in one bite!

The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke!

Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"?

Sometimes, when waiting in line for meals in the canteen, the greatest comfort is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front, but that there are more and more people waiting behind.

When arguing with others, take a step back; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

Yuanyang played with water, and all his mother drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.

Chopin, no matter how awesome B is, it can't play out Lao Tzu's sadness!

In public, I often choose to be a polite person, but in private, I often insult my manners.

The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.

I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

Pigs have gone up in price these days, and they want me to reduce the price! ?

As long as the hoe dances well, what corner can't be dug down?

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

Are you bored at work? Flip a coin, surf the internet on the front, sleep on the back, work when you stand up, work hard when you stand up, and apply for overtime when you fail. If you throw two pieces, throw them every day!

Part 1: Love your country, your family and your sister! Bottom line: fire and theft prevention, brother! Horizontal criticism: freedom of love

Live great and die under flowers!

Life can be made do, and life can be exquisite!

Healthy and relaxed; Living is easy; Life is not easy.

Why do you need to sleep for a long time to live? You will fall asleep after death.

No one is born afraid of death, and no one is born afraid of death, so don't pretend to be TM!

What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters.

You can never be an excellent college student, but you rely on excellent quality!

There are no beauties in the world, and naturally more people will become beauties.

Love is an animal, and love is a plant. If you refuse love, animals will leave, of course, because plants will not give birth to feet to escape.

It is gold, and it will always be spent; This is a mirror, it always reflects light …

But gold always shines, but when there is gold all over the ground, I don't know which one I am.

Handsome is useless, but in the end it was eaten by chess pieces!

Who can not shoot for 90 minutes ~ ~ China national football team ~ ~

Who says the world is as black as a crow? In fact, one is darker than the other!

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art.

Saying that money is a sin, everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, someone praised my left nostril as an idol.

People who run around brothels are not old, please use Huiren Shenbao.

If you have a pair of wings, you should be braised …

Angels can fly because they look down on themselves.

Tucao is used to count money, not to reason! !

The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet, went in, and went out to know everything.

Wang Cai, come and see, there are others who are not as good as you!

Asking how sad you can be is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

I love you! What do you care?

I am not a fortune teller in the square. I can't say so much as you want to hear.

My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

I struggled to climb to the top of the ladder, only to find that it climbed the wrong wall ...

I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain learned to swim.

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

I am different from you because I am human.

We live in the gutter and still have the right to look up at the stars.

We walk so fast that our souls can't keep up …

I can tolerate fake bodies, fake faces, fake breasts and fake hips! ! ! But I just can't stand that money is fake! ! ! !

I ran hard, but I couldn't get rid of the sadness that followed. ...

I am an actor, I turn my eyes when I see beautiful mm …

Kill the panda and I will be a national treasure!

The public security bureau received a report from the masses that there were two big bombs under the overpass. The police and bomb squad went to the scene and found a red cloth bag under the bridge. Experts and police carefully opened the bag, which contained several layers of newspaper parcels. The police took it apart layer by layer and finally found that it was really two big bombs: four twos; A pair of kings! !

Deliberately study, work, live and live like a person!

A good horse never turns back, because there is no turning back.

Red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face. I really miss them ~!

Never leave the wall, resolutely pull it out.

There is a one-dollar coin in the flower bed, but the sign next to the flower bed says, "Step into the flower bed and be fined three yuan!" " "It's really embarrassing.

Is there true love? Of course, there are many in TV series.

If you give a girl a safe environment, she can make you bleed to death!

Take to the streets to flirt with good women!

I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit.

Although I lied to you, you have to believe me!

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

Because of you, there are sea monsters in Qingdao waters! ! !

That's what makes you comfortable. Take off your pants.

I have lost my appetite when I see you. What about sexual desire?

Don't call me if you have nothing to do, and don't call me if you have anything to do.

Love is like poop, once washed, it will never come back; Love is like poop, it can't stop when it comes; Love is like poop, it is the same every time but not exactly the same; Love is like poop, sometimes it's just a fart if you work hard for a long time!

I didn't mean to be different, how can I have outstanding taste!

Don't talk to me about ideals, quit!

It's not that I don't laugh, I lose my powder when I laugh!

I can't eat swans ~ I can't eat ducks yet ~

Ugly people, that is also special, that is, particularly ugly. The best among people.

The garden couldn't be closed in spring, so I lured an almond out of the wall.

I was also an infatuated seed, but it rained and drowned.

Pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful.

From heaven to hell, I pass by!

It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years!

Mean is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

Kill the bird man! I am an angel!

Looking for him in the crowd, suddenly looking back, that person still despises me …

As a smoker, you must have three conditions: a cigarette, a lighter and shameless charm when smoking!

Love is like a ghost.

Many people believe that.

I don't see many people.

He has a good background.

And all I have is my back ~ ~

After seeing me, you will suddenly find-ah

So handsome can be so single-minded!

Take off your clothes. I am an animal.

Get dressed! I am the devil wears Prada!

We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn feces into gold.

I hope she treats gold like dirt.

It is over; be doomed

You ignored me, too.

I am a dog ~ ~!

I like you so much.

If you like me, you will die.

Ideal fullness

Reality is very skinny.

When I love you,

It's up to you (because you don't want to argue)

When I don't love you,

What did you say you were?

Our goal: watch the money and make a big profit.

I am a passer-by, and you turn around and forget.

Why should I accompany you to the ends of the earth?

Carve loneliness on the bottle, drink it into the bladder, pee it out, and let loneliness spill all over the floor!

Elite, as fine as an eagle.

People are floating in rivers and lakes, who can not be stabbed? The rivers and lakes are stormy, and wine is like a steel knife. Glaring mountains and rivers, jade arm leading coquettish, get a knife, let me scream. People are floating in the rivers and lakes, one knife at a time. Knife knife disease such as electricity, from the back of the head. There are herbs in the world, and herbs are poison. There are a thousand willows, and only one underpants is left.

When I look up at the sky alone, I don't want to find anything. I am just lonely. People are floating in the rivers and lakes, who can't help man show.

The best diamonds must be cut. Nice guy, boring.

You see, there are always so many things that make you sad: lack of rain or shine, joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation.

The shortest color romance novel in the world: "Does it hurt?" "Pain" "Forget it!" "Don't"

I'm sorry to make you laugh.

Never argue with an idiot. Because he will pull your IQ to the same level as him and beat you with rich experience! ?