The latest funny information

1. In the past, the exam teacher handed out papers, and the girls at the back took one more and shouted, "Teacher, I have it, I have it." As a result, the boy sitting next to him said, "It's mine, it's mine". The whole class was stunned ~ ~ ~

2. When the junior high school teacher talked about the ancient Babylonian civilization, he talked about the Sumerians. When the history teacher was excited, he said, "There are Shu and beauties in the two rivers", and more than half of them smiled on the spot.

The political teacher once said, "Let me give you an example." Then he felt wrong and said, "give me an example."

4. In high school, there was a classmate named Huang Jiajian. One day, he didn't go to the old class. When he entered the classroom, he saw that the seat was empty and asked: Hey, where is Huang Jiajian? After the whole class laughed, they all called him Huang Gupo.

One day, Cao Cao went to visit Jiang Gan. He held Jiang Gan's hand and said enthusiastically, Fuck, how is your mother? Jiang Gan fainted, and it took him a while to wake up. He grabbed Cao Cao's collar excitedly and said, Fuck, how is your family? Cao Cao immediately vomited blood and died.

Xiaoming stole a parrot from a brothel and just brought it home. The parrot said, "Move!" Xiaoming's mother came down from upstairs. The parrot saw it and said, "The boss has changed." Just as his sister came downstairs, the parrot said, "Miss has changed, too." Seeing Xiaoming's father, the parrot said, "I am Cao!" " Still an old customer! "

7004◎ I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. I bury my wife in the ground in spring, and I will be shot in autumn!

8. Little Nutbrown hare said, "I am a rabbit!"

The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The chicken said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "

9. General Li Zongren said: I am kind!

General fu said to him: I am just!

General Zuo Quan said: I have this right!

General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first!

10, the students of teachers' college said: I am from teachers' college.

The students of the Railway Institute said: I am from the "Iron Institute"

The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges.

The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first!

1 1. The dung beetle fell in love with mosquitoes. Lang: What's your occupation? Mosquito: What about you, nurse? Dung beetles said with a smile, Fate, my colleague, I am a pill maker in the Bureau of Traditional Chinese Medicine.

12 You know our friendship is full of rich meaning to me. I cry when you cry, and I laugh when you laugh. When you jump off a tall building, I will stick my head out without hesitation: "Wow! Strangely, not dead! "

13, A Yuan is studying in other places. One day, he found that his living expenses had been used up in advance and was busy telegraphing home for help. There were only four words on the telegram: A Yuan received a phone call from home a few days after he ran out of ammunition and food: Hold on!

14, single Xiao Wang asked Lao Li: Why does the law stipulate that a man can only marry one wife? Lao Li said earnestly: When you have a wife, you will find that this law actually protects men.

15, let me know if someone bullies you! I beat his face into a color screen, his head into vibration, his ears into chords, his nose into a straight plate, and his front teeth into somersaults. Anyway, I beat him to second hand!

16 A vicious wolf came out for food and heard a woman lecturing her child, saying, If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf! As a result, the wolf waited all night and said, damn it, this old lady is not keeping her word!

17. A young man farted on the bus, and the woman sitting next to him shouted "Bah!" The young man asked unhurriedly, Comrade, why did you spit out the nuts when you ate fart?

18, Health Tips: After eating a full meal, don't smoke, take a bath, get angry, loosen your belt under temptation, brush your teeth, go to the toilet or drink alcohol. Do you know Bajie?

19, I have a request: invite me to dinner, I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate.

20. Friar Sand took the math exam. The invigilator stared at the beads around his neck for a long time and sneered: Hey! Camouflage the abacus like this, don't cheat, and take it off quickly!