Why does my mother tell me a lot of unhappy things about herself every time she sees me?

I sympathize with this situation.

I have been living in a dormitory since junior high school, and I go home once a month, so I only hear about all the big and small things that happen at home. Of course, the most are from my mother, and most of them are unhappy. thing.

As I get older and go home less often, my mother talks about more and more things when she comes home, but slowly, I find that all she says are things she has said before. , over and over again, it’s all the past scenes where she was deeply hurt. Every time, she would say, you don’t know how I got here at that time. Without you three children, I wouldn’t be here now.

These words made me sad at first. It is hard to imagine how much pain my mother must have suffered and what kind of strong support she needed to survive. However, I gradually discovered that after my mother told me these things, she would forget about them, her mood would change very quickly, and she would quickly come out of that sad mood.

I think the reason why our mothers are like this is because they are really deeply hurt and really unhappy because of those things; secondly, mothers just want to find a place to vent. She needs an outlet to express her emotions at this moment. She needs a listener. She just doesn't want to bear the pain alone. She also hopes that her children can understand and that she is cared for.

Next time, when our mother talks about the unhappy things in the past, we can be a good listener and tell her without saying too many comforting words that it is all over, everything is over. Everything is getting better, everything is getting better, there are still white clouds in the sky, you and I are still there.

This is enough.

As a junior or a child, it would be best if you can give some tactful persuasion to your mother's complaints. If not, just listen to her patiently.

In real life, no matter in the relationship between husband and wife or between relatives and friends, due to differences in temperament, personality, behavior, etc., conflicts may occur between people anytime and anywhere. Some contradictions, misunderstandings and conflicts in thoughts and behaviors cause knots between people or some psychological imbalances. After problems arise, those who are relatively broad-minded and open-minded will quickly digest themselves, get rid of their worries, and return to normal. And those whose thoughts are relatively sensitive and who easily get into their minds are always unable to get out for a while. As time goes by, I become depressed and unhappy. In China, influenced by the concept that family scandals should not be publicized, many people are unwilling to tell outsiders about their family scandals. This results in many people in many families not being able to vent and release their depressed emotions in a timely manner, leaving people in a state of limbo between health and depression. The reason why your mother talks about a lot of unhappy things in the past every time she sees you is probably because of this reason.

In real life, many people with depressed emotions, after finding a suitable person to talk to, can talk endlessly and vent their feelings even though they are usually not good at words. At this time, all you need to do is listen patiently, and you don't even need to care about what she said. Some people just don't feel happy about it. It was a relief to say it. I was unhappy for most of the time.

It wasn’t my mother who told me this, but my grandma. Every time I came home, she would nag me and criticize various people.

In the past, when school was on winter and summer vacation, as soon as I got home, my grandma would nag in front of me and scold various people, including my mother. I could bear it for the first two days, so I just let it go. Anyway, the conflict between her and my mother is not a matter of one or two days.

Then when I lived at home for more than a week, I couldn't stand her anymore and would talk back to her. She was really fed up. Even if my mother does a very small thing, such as adding too little water to the rice, she will nag about it for a long time, which will lead to all the failures in my mother's work in the past, and then she will say that my mother is bad. He said that my mother didn't listen to her and was unfilial. This is what I hear every day, and I really want to hit the wall...

Until I got married, I no longer needed to stay at home for so many days, and I usually came back the same day. She still chattered endlessly in front of me, blaming the people around her for treating her badly, and blaming her daughter who was married far away for not coming back to see her.

I just listened to what she said. I didn't need to get angry with her anymore. Anyway, after listening to it, I left and continued to live my own life.

Thinking about grandma, she is also pitiful. She is good in many aspects, but she is too talkative. People who have been with her for a long time cannot stand her. No matter how much she loves her daughter, she will criticize her. I think she will criticize me secretly.

But that doesn’t matter, I can digest all the negative emotions she passed on to me. There is really no one around her who can make her happy. Me being her listener can be a little comfort to her. After all, she is so old and there is no need to worry too much about an old man!

Everyone will experience a lot in their life, including joys and sorrows, joys and sorrows. Happy things may be forgotten quickly, but unhappy or sad things will leave a knot in the heart. The reason why your mother tells you that she is unhappy is because she trusts you and hopes that you can help her to untie the knot, stop being entangled, and let go of the unhappiness to make yourself truly happy. Secondly, because you are relatives, I can tell you some things that cannot be said to outsiders. I hope you can be a good listener, understand her, enlighten her, and comfort her. If unhappy things are suppressed for a long time, they will happen. How can she live a happy life with negative emotions and being unhappy all the time.

If a person cannot let go of something over and over again. She must have been deeply hurt, and she has never come out of the shadows!

Your mother must have been hurt before, and no one has ever understood this kind of hurt. Does she have anyone to talk to, so I can only talk to you!

My neighbors are like this. They have three sisters-in-law. My mother-in-law has always favored my uncle and the others. My aunt is also not nice to her. My husband has a better relationship with my mother, so he never does it. Be considerate of your neighbors’ feelings! So, she would talk about it in roundabout ways, but no one could really enlighten her!

It wasn’t until her mother-in-law left later that she suddenly let go, and the inexplicable knot in her heart opened up!

Therefore, you should always enlighten your mother instead of being impatient! Let her get over the pain as soon as possible and let her completely feel relieved, then you will both be happy!

Why does my mother always tell me a lot about things that made her unhappy in the past every time she saw me? I think the only reason is that she wants to talk! Everyone should have this experience. When we talk about our unhappiness, we feel much better inside, and it feels as if the unhappiness has been transferred.

It must be said that this transfer of negative emotions is very hurtful. Someone has done experiments and talked to two identical flowers and plants. One uses words of praise and praise, and the other uses negative words such as criticism and complaints. Soon after, the flowers and plants that received negative words withered significantly faster than the former! There is also a joke, which profession has the most people seeking psychiatrists? The answer is the psychiatrist himself! Because they accept too much negative emotions!

So I think that when we are unhappy and need some explanation, it is okay to find someone to talk to. But be careful about the extent and frequency. Never think that others will like hearing this. The harm caused by negative emotions from others is actually no less than physical harm!

This situation seems to have happened to many people. Although proper talking can help us alleviate our unhappiness, endless talking It will bore the listener.

Perhaps the person who confides is experiencing the pleasure of confiding. No matter how old we are this year, we have all experienced happiness and grievances. We usually only talk about happy things once. If we talk too much, we will get annoyed and feel like we are showing off to others.

Sadness is different. We always feel that the pain will be reduced once we talk about it. From the time when no one had anything to say, to now the words never leave my mouth. We can choose not to listen to our peers, but we can only endure it silently when it comes to our elders. It’s not that I can’t tell the reason for rejection, but I can’t bear to say it.

We may sympathize with their experiences, and we also know how unbearable their grievances are, but we just don’t like hearing these sad stories every day. If, next time, parents tell us about the suffering they have suffered, I hope we can answer: Everything is over, and I will be here in the future.