What skit did Pan Changjiang perform in the 2015 Spring Festival Gala?

Adventures at the Station

"Adventures at the Station" is a sketch performed by Cai Ming, Pan Changjiang, and Mu Xuefeng. It was performed at the 2015 CCTV Spring Festival Gala.

"Station Adventure" tells a funny story about Cai Ming, who is rushing to reunite with his daughter on New Year's Eve, and meets Pan Changjiang, who is practicing driving on New Year's Eve, at the train station, and the two bump into each other along the way. Joking about Pan Changjiang's height is still one of the selling points, and the ending is still an expected twist and everyone is happy.

Lines

Pan Changjiang: Oh, oh, oh, the whole country celebrates the New Year, every household celebrates reunion, no gifts will be accepted during the festival this year, applaud 2015 to make big money, oh, there are so many money fans Yeah, hey, it’s so cold today. My home is in the northeast, or oops or

Cai Ming: Sister, I’m freezing to death, shouting four times

Pan Changjiang: Sister, run away We are here to escape the summer heat in the Northeast

Cai Ming: Hey, here is someone squatting

Pan Changjiang: Who is squatting? I am standing

Cai Ming: Hey, I said, Where have all your taxis gone?

Pan Changjiang: They have all gone home to celebrate the New Year at this time

Cai Ming: Oops, it’s broken, it’s broken. It’s New Year’s Day in half an hour. , I have to get to my daughter’s work before 12 o’clock, what should I do?

Pan Changjiang: Are you anxious?

Cai Ming: Yes

Pan Changjiang: How about I drive? I'll take you there

Cai Ming: Ah

Pan Changjiang: I have nothing to do anyway

Cai Ming: OK, where's your car

Pan Changjiang: Here it is

Cai Ming: Ah, this is a car. I thought someone had left their shoes here. Are you a black car?

Pan Changjiang: I am not a black car. Black cars cost money, I don’t want money

Cai Ming: Do you want something else

Pan Changjiang: It’s not you, right?

Cai Ming: Don’t say it’s a black car, it’s just I also have to sit on the excavator. Do you know Xingfu Street?

Pan Changjiang: I have passed by it 8 times today

Cai Ming: Hey, hurry up

Pan Changjiang: What are you doing

Cai Ming: Look at the camera, that’s what the police officer looks like, don’t make faces

Pan Changjiang: I didn’t make faces

Cai Ming: He looks like this It’s so scary. Police comrades, if I have a problem with you, you can find him. If you can’t do it, you are afraid of taking a photo as evidence. Hey, I’d better squat down and pick up my luggage.

Pan Changjiang: It’s okay for older girls to take photos, but don’t post them online. I’m afraid that others will misunderstand that I’m having an affair.

Cai Ming: I’m overthinking my children.

Pan Changjiang: I’m overthinking it. Let me see. Are you overthinking? Do I look like a bad guy? Come on, tie me up

Cai Ming: What are you doing?

Pan Changjiang: Send me a seat belt

Cai Ming: Can I still be safe when tied up like this?

Pan Changjiang: Make do with it, big girl, my car is a nine-hand car, not to mention the seat belt, which means that all four wheels are equipped at the rear

Cai Ming: Oh, this car is made of lunch boxes. Why don’t you send the seat belts yourself?

Pan Changjiang: I don’t need to

Cai Ming: Afraid Fuck you (the audience laughs here), you should install a baby chair

Pan Changjiang: Sister, you are such a talkative person, sit still

Cai Ming: The car lights are not on

Pan Changjiang: Wait a moment,

Cai Ming: Yes

Pan Changjiang: Ah! ! ! It's on

Cai Ming: Voice-activated light!

Pan Changjiang: It doesn’t matter what you say, just turn on the light. Sit tight and I’ll start racing. It’s the New Year in the first month of the year. It’s the first day of the new year

Cai Ming: Stop, I'm squeezing my breasts, but you're banging in the face

Cai Ming: Excuse me, do you have a book?

Pan Changjiang: Do you still have a book? I don't have a book. Who dares to drive? Look

Cai Ming: Get your driver's license on the first day

Pan Changjiang: Hey, there are still 20 minutes until the second day

Cai Ming : Hurry up, hurry up and drive

Pan Changjiang: Okay

Cai Ming: You, can you do it?

Pan Changjiang: Hurry up and give it a push!

Pan Changjiang: Why are you pushing me when I ask you to push the cart?

Cai Ming: You have a good idea. I got off the car and my luggage was still on top. You took the opportunity to drive this small lunch box away

Pan Changjiang: Why don’t you trust others so much? Son, let me tell you that I won’t pull you from now on. If I pull you again, I will be a dog

Cai Ming: A dog and a Chihuahua

Pan Changjiang:

Hey, are you in a hurry to go home for the New Year? There are no rentals. I can drive you home, okay?

Mu Xuefeng: Oh, are the traffic police team leaving?

Pan Changjiang : Let’s go, get in the car and leave

Mu Xuefeng: Hello

Pan Changjiang: Hello

Mu Xuefeng: You are suspected of illegal operation, we will follow the law Temporarily impound your vehicle

Pan Changjiang: No, no, no, comrade police, comrade police, you misunderstood, I am not a black car

Mu Xuefeng: Don’t speak

Mu Xuefeng: Hello, madam!

Cai Ming: Hello

Mu Xuefeng: What is the relationship between you two?

Cai Ming: We...guess?

Mu Xuefeng: It’s impossible...it’s a relationship between husband and wife!

Cai Ming: Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Cai Ming: He is my wife

Mu Xuefeng: Your dad

Cai Ming : What dad, my wife

Pan Changjiang: Bo~ Press, my wife!

Mu Xuefeng: If he is your wife, what is his name?

Cai Ming: Yao Ming'er

Cai Ming/Mu Xuefeng: Ah...

Mu Xuefeng: Is this him? !

Cai Ming: This...this is, uh, the active center of our community kindergarten

Mu Xuefeng: You, you two are really a couple

Cai Ming : Look, we still have photos

Cai Ming: Who is okay taking a couple photo with a black driver? Look at it

Pan Changjiang: That’s it

Mu Xue Feng: It’s true!

Cai Ming: Hahahahaha

Mu Xuefeng: Hey, eldest sister

Cai Ming: Yeah

Mu Xuefeng: I just wanted to I don’t understand. Tell me, what are you trying to do with him?

Cai Ming: Guess

Mu Xuefeng: This doesn’t look like a rich man either.

Cai Ming: Tsk, it’s too vulgar

Cai Ming: Sister, the reason why I married your uncle is because... because, what can I do for you?

Pan Changjiang: Because of that indestructible, unswerving, and unyielding spirit...

Cai Ming: Sympathy!

Pan Changjiang: Same...

Mu Xuefeng: What a good man! Sister, you are really doing charity!

Mu Xuefeng: Oh, that’s not right. Then what he said just now, ‘I won’t pull you if I pull anyone’, ‘just get in the car and leave’, what kind of plot is this?

Cai Ming: We quarreled, and he stopped pulling me when he got angry

Mu Xuefeng: Why did we quarrel?

Cai Ming: Well, he thought I was ugly. Not worthy of him

Mu Xuefeng: Master! Are you crazy! Where can you find such a beautiful elder sister?

Pan Changjiang: Oh, let me go, what kind of life is this?

Mu Xuefeng: Falling in love is not easy! Old husband and young wife, how fun it is!

Mu Xuefeng: Master, cherish it! Sister, isn’t it?

Mu Xuefeng: Goodbye!

Pan Changjiang: Oh, this scene makes me intoxicated

Cai Ming: If you don’t avoid me, I will scrap you

Pan Changjiang: Well, what kind of big girl is that? Let’s just talk about it. To be honest, thank you.

Cai Ming: If I wasn’t anxious to see my daughter, I wouldn’t help you tell this lie. It’s disgusting. It’s disgusting. It’s disgusting.

Pan Changjiang: Got it!

Cai Ming: The car lights went out again

Pan Changjiang: I’ll go down if it’s okay

Cai Ming: No need

Cai Ming: Ah...

Pan Changjiang: OK, big girl, just shout to the high beam

Cai Ming: Drive quickly

Pan Changjiang: Hey, OK, OK

Cai Ming: Can you drive faster

Pan Changjiang: That’s fast enough, I’ve already reached 20 mph

Cai Ming: I walk my dog ??at 30 mph

Pan Changjiang: Don’t worry, sister, I promise to let you see your daughter before twelve o’clock

Cai Ming: Why are you lying down again!

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Pan Changjiang: Can’t I step on the accelerator to the end!

Cai Ming: Me, this is the first time I saw someone driving a car with a sleeper berth

Cai Ming: Chihuahua

Pan Changjiang: My surname is not Ji

Cai Ming: Baby, turn on the heater

Pan Changjiang: Sorry, the heater is broken. If you are cold, I will take off my cotton-padded jacket and give it to you

Cai Ming: No, no, I Don’t wear children’s clothes

Pan Changjiang: Big girl, with your language and style of speaking, you will easily get beaten in our Northeast

Cai Ming: It’s not easy to live in Shenzhen

Cai Ming: Ah, how many train stations do you have here?

Pan Changjiang: There is only one station

Cai Ming: Stop the car!

Cai Ming: Isn’t this the place where I got on the bus just now? Why did it come back again

Cai Ming: Come down here

Cai Ming: Come down here I'm coming down!

Pan Changjiang: Hey, hey, hey, can you please stop dragging my racing suit?

Cai Ming: I can give you any money you want, but you can’t be such a rogue!

Pan Changjiang: Is there such a passive gangster as me?

Cai Ming: My daughter, my daughter worked overtime during the Chinese New Year and couldn't get home, so I came all the way here to give her a baby. What an unexpected surprise. I didn’t expect to meet such a shady driver like you. You don’t even take a break on New Year’s Eve and you work overtime to trick people!

Pan Changjiang: Hey, what did I cheat on you? I cheated on you. Can I spin around in circles? Can’t I just get on the elevated road?

Cai Ming: Hey, you, give me back one Black heart, prepare with both hands

Cai Ming: I tell you, I will never ride in a car

Pan Changjiang: I...

Cai Ming: Hey, taxi, taxi!

Mu Xuefeng: Wait a moment! ! ! Stop, stop, stop!

Mu Xuefeng: Hey, eldest sister, didn’t I adjust it for you just now? What are you two doing during this Chinese New Year!

Cai Ming: He and I are not a couple, he is an illegal car driver

Pan Changjiang: Well, have you ever taken a couple photo with an illegal car driver?

Mu Xuefeng : That’s right

Mu Xuefeng: Sister, don’t give up on charity work halfway

Cai Ming: No

Mu Xuefeng: You, it’s okay, Let's go quickly

Cai Ming: You, hey, hey, hey

Mu Xuefeng: Don't stop, go, go, go!

Cai Ming: No, taxi...

Mu Xuefeng: Sister, what's the matter? Let's talk about it when we get home

Cai Ming: Comrade police... …

Mu Xuefeng: You’re welcome, this is what I should do! Happy New Year to both of you!

Mu Xuefeng: I saved a relationship on my first day at work. It’s so exciting, haha!

Pan Changjiang: Sister, do you feel the enthusiasm of our Northeast police?

Cai Ming: I haven’t seen my daughter for a year

Pan Changjiang: Yes What, I haven’t seen my son in five years

Cai Ming: Your son has been arrested

Pan Changjiang: My son is in Africa!

Cai Ming: Absconded?

Pan Changjiang: My son is working in Africa! I have come back every year, but I haven’t come back every year, for five years.

Cai Ming: Oh, it turns out you are a left-behind child

Pan Changjiang: That’s called an empty nester!

Cai Ming: I understand, you came out to drive a black car to save money to buy a plane ticket to see your son

Pan Changjiang: Let me tell you again, I am not a black car, I never I have never driven a black car. I came out today to take advantage of the lack of traffic and people on the road to practice driving for a while. Do you know why there are few cars and few people? They have all gone home to celebrate the New Year. Me, why don’t I go home? I am the only one at home. Man, I can’t stand still. I want to master the road from our home to the airport so that when my son comes back next year, I can drive and pick him up at the airport!

Cai Ming: Go to the airport, go to the airport, why are you coming to the train station?

Pan Changjiang: Aren’t you lost? Can you blame me! ah!

Cai Ming: You

This IQ is also nine-handed, right?

Pan Changjiang: Sister, do you have a mobile phone navigation? Give me one last chance. I promise to deliver you to the place before twelve o'clock. If you can't deliver, Here I am, Chihuahua

Cai Ming: It’s Chinese New Year, Master Ji. I’m too late anyway, so I’ll just spend the New Year with you

Pan Changjiang: What, you spend the New Year with me Year

Pan Changjiang: Oh my mom, I feel a little bit excited

Pan Changjiang: Big girl! And wine!

Pan Changjiang: Oh, that’s great. You look like a fastidious person

Pan Changjiang: Happy New Year, big sister

Cai Ming: Happy New Year, big brother (Pigeon) Son

Pan Changjiang: Okay, I changed my name to a bird again

Cai Ming: For the children who are working hard outside and report good news but not bad news

Pan Changjiang: For the parents who are eagerly waiting for their children to come home

Pan Changjiang: Go for it!

Cai Ming: Good drinker!

Pan Changjiang: Good wine! Cool! Great, great, great...you didn't drink.

Cai Ming: I don't know how to drink

Pan Changjiang: Then let me do it

Cai Ming: I'll just be polite

Pan Changjiang: I'll drink the bottle if you're so polite

Cai Ming: Your phone number

Pan Changjiang: Who's calling

Cai Ming: Your phone number

Pan Changjiang: My son called

Pan Changjiang: My son, happy Spring Festival! What an unexpected surprise, what, you are back! Okay, wait, dad will be home soon!

Pan Changjiang: I can't go back at all. Why do you have to force me to drink? If I drive again, I will be considered a drunk driver.

Cai Ming: No, your driving skills have nothing to do with drunk driving. Is there a difference

Pan Changjiang: That’s not okay either

Cai Ming: It doesn’t matter, I’ll do it. Let’s introduce the two children and have a reunion dinner together

Pan Changjiang: Great

Pan Changjiang: Hey, big sister

Cai Ming: Huh?

Pan Changjiang: Is your daughter single?

Cai Ming: Yes

Pan Changjiang: What about you

Cai Ming: Yes

Pan Changjiang: So exciting! ! !

Cai Ming: It’s so scary! ! !

Mu Xuefeng: Wait a moment! ! !

Pan Changjiang: Sister, run, that little policeman is here again, hurry up, hurry up

Mu Xuefeng: Wait for me! ! ! Hey, hey, I'm here to deliver dumplings! Uncle, eldest sister, I wish you happiness in your later years!