Humorous jokes in the restaurant

Humor can be divided into broad sense and narrow sense. In western usage, it often includes vulgar jokes ... In a narrow sense, humor is different from repression, satire and ridicule. These three or four styles all contain jokes. The following are humorous jokes that I arranged in the restaurant for your reference, hoping to help friends in need.

Humorous jokes in the restaurant 1 1 "Manager, there are too many flies in your toilet, so you can't get in!"

"Next time, don't go to the toilet in the morning."

"Then when should we go?"

"It's best at noon, when all the flies have gone to the restaurant."

2. In a restaurant, a customer was impatient and asked the waiter, "How long should I wait?"

The waiter kindly replied, "Wait for another customer to order the same dish as you."

"Why?" The customer cried.

"Because you only need half a chicken."

Customer: Waiter, why is my braised chicken missing a drumstick?

Attendant: There are disabled people. Don't chickens have disabilities?

4. Members dine in the Parliament Dining Room. The waiter came over and asked, "What's the matter? Is it to your taste? "

The congressman replied, "Thank you, not bad. Unfortunately, potatoes account for the absolute majority.

5. The barber shop owner ordered a takeaway, opened the lunch box and screamed: Can you still eat your cooking? Look for it yourself. The original green leaves have turned yellow and faded.

Attendant: They just dyed their hair.

6. Customer: Why are there ants in this fried powder? How do people eat?

Hotel manager: I'm really sorry, the chef may not have noticed, but we don't add money.

7. Customer: Boss, why is this roast duck missing a leg?

Manager: Oh, something happened to the duck. Its leg was crushed.

Customer: Then please change it to a car that is not in trouble.

Manager: You are so heartless! How can you discriminate against disabled people if you don't care about them?

Customer: What are you doing, jiaozi? Dumpling stuffing has broken out of the dumpling skin.

Hotel manager: I'm really sorry, but there's something wrong with this dumpling stuffing and dumpling skin, and I'm getting divorced.

Humorous jokes in restaurants. What is the concept of eating goods? Eat more if it tastes good, and eat more if it doesn't.

2, the motto of eating goods: don't try to eat and drink today, try to find food and drink tomorrow.

3, the spirit of eating goods: eat more, eat more, eat better!

4, the motto of eating goods: just eat!

5. Slimming food is a fine food.

6. Some gits are equivalent to eating goods, but eating goods is not necessarily git. The fundamental difference between the two is that fools can eat well and foodies can eat well.

7, it is said that eating vegetables will not fail ... because eating vegetables is too heavy, high numbers will not fail.

8. There is no love if you don't eat. If you don't believe me, come uninvited to talk about a meal and love.

9. Never ask if you have eaten the food. This is not a problem at all for eating goods. If you want to ask, are you full?

10, the last words of a foodie: Anything else, just burn me a Haidilao and two waiters.

1 1. People who love food are not bad people. They are hungry for food and have no time to hurt others. Laughter and gluttony are a perfect combination, and the more such women, the better.

12, the real foodies dare to face the thick thighs and dare to challenge the bulging abdomen.

In the restaurant 3 1, Xiao Pang and his brother went to have a barbecue buffet while they were eating. His brother looked at Xiao Pang and said simply, "I'm 20 years old ..."

Xiao Pang also said with emotion at that time: "Not so good. How time flies. I can always remember what happened when I was two children. "

His brother said, "I mean, you've eaten 20 plates!" " "

At noon, my cousin came to my house. Just stewed a pot of ribs and cooked some handmade noodles in ribs soup.

I picked up a big bowl and said to my cousin, "You are young and have a big appetite. I will give you more noodles. "

Hearing this, my cousin waved at me and said, "Sister, I can't eat so many noodles. Just give me more ribs. "

Mother cut the watermelon into four pieces, ate one piece by herself, and left three pieces of different sizes for the two brothers.

The elder brother took the biggest piece to his younger brother and picked up the smallest piece by himself.

Mother was very pleased: "It's not the same after learning how to make pears in Kong Rong! Much more sensible! "

Brother: "Eat small quickly. When I finish eating, my brother hasn't finished eating, and the rest is mine. "

4. Someone said, "You still have a beer belly at the beginning of the month. How can I lose weight at the end of the month? "

Fat man: "I control my diet and eat more fruits and vegetables;" Do sit-ups and push-ups every day ... "

Someone said, "Oh, I see!"

Fat man: "You don't know anything! Later, I accidentally ate my stomach, pulled it for more than a week, and then lost weight. "

Humorous jokes in restaurants. The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution.

Make the lunch box blue.

2. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?"

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will shine!" " "

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" When the polar bear heard this, he pulled off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" "

4. American: Have you ever seen a cup made of wood?

China: No!

American: Then why is the Chinese character "cup" beside the wooden character?

China people: Isn't there a word "no" next to the word "cup"? In other words, it is not made of wood.

One day, when the national war was in full swing, the guild leader came to the grassland front to boost morale. ...

The guild leader asked: What's the situation?

Report to the member archers: report to the head! There is a Bezos archer beside the tent 20 meters ahead, but his accuracy is poor. He has shot many times these days, but he didn't hit anyone.

After listening to this, the colonel asked: Since we have found the enemy archer, why not kill him?

The archer said: Report to the team leader! No, don't you want them to exchange it for a more accurate one?

6. Soldier: "Thirst … Thirst …"

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place once, and I remember there is a Merlin nearby. After a short walk, I may come to the soldiers and say, "Oh … there are plums to eat … Oh …"

Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink. "

Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."

7. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak meet in the street. Why don't they say hello?

because ..

Because they are not familiar with each other! Ha ha laugh

8. The little snake asked the big snake brother in a panic: "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?"

The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

9. In the tortoise-rabbit race, the rabbit quickly ran to the front.

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly and said to him, come up, I'll carry you.

Then the snail came up.

After a while, the tortoise saw an ant again. Say to him: You come up, too.

So the ants came up.

When the ant came up, he saw the snail above and said hello to him.

Do you know what the snail said?

The snail said, "Hurry up, this turtle is so fast."

10, bad news: a pilot fell off the plane.

Good news: He brought a parachute.

Bad news: the parachute is broken.

Good news: There is a haystack below.

Bad news: There is a dung fork on the haystack.

Good news: he didn't fall on the dung fork.

Bad news: He didn't fall on the haystack either.

5 1, others are successful people in a few years, and I guess they are all suburban people in a few years.

2. My friend said that if I were described as "generous and steady", I would have to be dismantled, wide, thick, stable and heavy.

The furthest distance in the world is your home in Australia, and I cook porridge at home.

The weather is very good today. I stayed in my room for a long time. I'm going to play in the living room.

Being alive is a serious problem, but how to live is an entertainment problem.

6. Don't make V-shaped gestures when taking pictures. This is obviously what you are saying: I am 2. ......

7. In the past, people's desires were: money and power, while modern people's desires were: money, power, house and immigration.

8, Weibo is a cup of poison, the murder is time. Time is a dagger, it will hurt women. Women are prisons, men are imprisoned. A man is just a bowl of noodles, eating alone. Loneliness is a screen showing Weibo.

9. In this vast sea of people, I am not the drifting bottle you expected, so you read my secret and threw me back into the sea.

10, bury a lot of gentlemen when nothing happens, and see through a bunch of villains when something happens.

1 1, customers who order shark fin basically need an invoice.

12, talkative will make trouble, oversensitive will make trouble.

13, if you are a demon again, you will also encounter a difficult gourd doll.

6 1. There are two new people in heaven. One is wearing only underwear, and the other is a skeleton.

Out of curiosity, God himself received them both and asked the man who was wearing underwear alone: Why are you naked?

I'm a gambler, and all I lose is underwear!

God asked the skeleton again: How did you become like this, worse than him?

The skeleton replied: my god, I am a stockholder, and all the meat has been cut off.

I have been an intern in the company for half a year. One * * * We three interns, and the other two left one after another.

I have nothing to do recently. I joked with the department manager and said, "I have no task here. Why don't you leave me?"

The manager replied, "No, there are no temporary workers. What if something happens? "

3. Gan Long asked Liu Yong, "Where is the national silver?"

Liu Yong replied, "I fell into the river."

Gan Long asked again, "Why not fish?"

Liu Yong replied: "The river is deep (small Shenyang)!"

The king came to inspect and the local tribal leaders held a grand banquet to welcome him.

At the banquet, the king asked, "What will you do if the wolf comes?"

The leader said, "We welcome you, Your Majesty! Because a wolf only needs one lamb at a time, we don't need to receive it; A king wants 30 fat sheep at a time, which is very troublesome to put away. "

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