Primary school student comedy sketch script

The modern version of "Thunderstorm New Edition" is funny and nonsensical.

Voiceover: Good evening everyone, today I will tell you a story about a thunderstorm. Our protagonist Zhou Puyuan is a promising young man, but he is inevitably pedantic. His wife Lu Shiping has given birth to a son for him, Zhou Ping, and is pregnant with a second child, Lu Dahai. . On such a thunderstorm night, our story unfolded - Zhou Puyuan: Shi Ping, it's thundering and raining, what are we doing out here? Aren't you worried that Ping'er is at home?

Lu Shiping: You don’t understand romance at all! Don't you think this is very romantic?

Zhou Puyuan: To be honest, I think the two of us are like drowned chickens. Romance is difficult, but embarrassment is quite appropriate.

Lu Shiping: (acting angry, then turning to aftertaste) Pu Yuan, I remember you were not like this before, you are very sentimental!

Zhou Puyuan: There is no way. Studying and working are stressful! People often say that we have the seven-year itch, we are already an old married couple, why do we have to deal with it? Let me cook noodles for you when you go home!

Lu Shiping: I don’t want it. Let me ask you, what does this lingering rain look like? Tell me!

Zhou Puyuan:...

Voice-over: I can't wait. Our number one villain, Lu Gui, known as the Young Woman Killer, finally appears.

Lu Gui: (chic) ??The spring rain is as light as a dream, and the faint fragrance of flowers fills the world of mortals!

Zhou Puyuan/Lu Shiping: Huh? !

Lu Gui: What issue are this beautiful young lady and this old man discussing?

Lu Shiping: I am still young!

Zhou Puyuan: Am I that old?

Lu Shiping: Where is your job, sir?

Lu Gui: My name is Sui Feng, and I will go wherever the wind blows. How romantic! On this occasion when the drizzle is falling, would you like to go to Xinghai Square with me to enjoy the sea breeze, have a drink and count the seagulls?

Lu Shiping: Okay, okay, what an honor!

Lu Gui: My pretty girl!

Lu Shiping: My handsome boy!

Zhou Puyuan: Oh my God!

(Lu Gui and Lu Shiping held hands and were about to move down, but Zhou Puyuan hurriedly stopped him)

Zhou Puyuan: Wait, young man, she is my wife...

Lu Gui: (interrupting him) Old man, is she your wife? Who believes it? Take your time, you are old, and if the weather is bad, don't go out for a walk.

(Lu Gui and Lu Shiping want to get off again)

Zhou Puyuan: (begging) Shi Ping, Ping'er is still waiting for you at home!

Lu Shiping: (enlightened) Yes, I almost forgot. You have to fulfill your responsibilities as a father and take good care of him! (Turns around to get off)

Zhou Puyuan: Wait a minute! At this point, if you listen to me sing the last song, if you still don’t change your mind, I will accept your fate!

(Lu Shiping asked Lu Gui for his opinion, and Lu Gui nodded)

Lu Shiping: Then you sing!

Zhou Puyuan: Annie, I can't live without you, Annie, I can't lose you - Lu Shiping: (making a "stop" gesture) I'm sorry, my name is Lu Shiping, OK? Go find your Annie! (To Lu Gui) Let's go, hum~ (Zhou Puyuan chases, but is stopped by voice-over)

Voice-over: Okay, okay, you can't chase me back. If a woman changes her mind, there is nothing she can do!

Zhou Puyuan: I’m not willing to give in!

Voice-over: Just give up!

Voice-over: 20 years later, Zhou Puyuan married Fanyi, who was 20 years younger than him. They also experienced a thunderstorm night.

Zhou Puyuan: Fanyi, I see you are worried. What's on your mind?

Fanyi: I was thinking, although love has no national boundaries and no age barriers, our age difference is too big, right?

Zhou Puyuan: Hey, how could you think so? Don’t you know that a man like me, who is around 50 years old, is the best among men?

Fanyi: Maybe. But I always feel that the person you love is not me.

Zhou Puyuan: (To the audience) Does she know that I still love my Shi Ping? (Turns to Fanyi) If I don’t love you, how can I love myself?

Fanyi: What if I don’t love you?

Zhou Puyuan: That doesn’t matter. You know, 20 years ago, I experienced a failed marriage. Since then, I have been practicing Taekwondo hard. If someone is sorry for me, humph, it will definitely not end well!

Fanyi: (looking worried and thinking hard) Ah~ (Zhou Puyuan’s cell phone rings)

Zhou Puyuan: (answering the phone) I’ll answer the phone, you go first.

(Zhou Puyuan walks towards voice-over)

Zhou Puyuan: We are acting, what are you doing?

Voice-over: Come over and watch for a while, you won’t have any fun in the past.

(Zhou Ping met Fanyi by chance)

Zhou Ping: Hey, Fanyi! What about shopping?

Fanyi: (Surprised) Yes! Are you shopping too? (coquettishly) What a coincidence.

Zhou Ping: (coquettishly) What a coincidence!

(The two stopped talking, feeling awkward)

Fanyi: (plucking up the courage) Ping, are you okay?

Zhou Ping: (stopping talking) It's nothing...

Fanyi: (encouraging) Ping, just tell me if you have anything to do.

/p>

Zhou Ping: (decided) Fanyi, I really said it!

Fanyi: (expecting) Ping, tell me!

Zhou Ping: I still don’t dare! !

Fanyi: (disappointed, pretending to be angry) If you do this again, I will be angry!

Zhou Ping: (pluck up the courage) Fanyi, I love you, come with me and leave that old monster!

(At this time, Zhou Puyuan watched the development of the situation nervously, and wanted to rush to stop it several times, but was stopped by the voice-over)

Fanyi: (excited) Ping, you know How painful was it for me to wait for your words? But, I can't...

Zhou Ping: Why? !

Fanyi: Your dad, he won’t let us go!

Zhou Ping: (heroic) Fanyi, don’t be afraid! Let's go find him now! Chinese Kung Fu vs Taekwondo, who is afraid of whom? !

Fanyi: (touched) Ping!

Zhou Ping: Fanyi! (Holding Fanyi’s hand) Let’s go!

(Zhou Puyuan breaks away from the voice-over and rushes forward. Zhou Ping and Fanyi are shocked)

Zhou Ping: (trembling) Dad~~Why are you here? Isn't this too dramatic?

Zhou Puyuan: (trying to control herself) If I don’t come, something will happen!

Zhou Ping: Yes, yes. (want to go down)

Fanyi: (sad and angry) Ping, you really let me down! If you don’t say it, I will! Pu Yuan, I know you don't love me. You should also know that I don't love you either. I was young and ignorant, and fell into your trap accidentally. Now, Ping and I are in love, and we want to be together!

Zhou Puyuan: (nods) I understand. But, if you ask him, does he dare?

Fanyi: Ping, tell me!

Zhou Ping: I——don’t dare.

(want to go down)

Fanyi: Stop!

(Fanyi and Zhou Ping each stood on one side of the stage, the wind blew, their expressions were extremely cool)

Zhou Ping: Maybe I shouldn’t come.

Fanyi: It’s too late for you to understand now.

Zhou Ping: How about leaving some memories?

Fanyi: I don’t want it. If you want to stay, keep your people. (Determined) Okay, I'll let you go, but you must kiss me before you go!

Zhou Ping: Hum, after all, I am also the eldest son of socialite Zhou Puyuan. If you ask me to kiss you, I will. Then won’t my image be completely ruined?

Fanyi: You dare not kiss me because you still like me - Voice-over: (interruption) Stop nagging, kiss me quickly!

(Zhou Ping approached step by step, and as soon as the two held hands, Zhou Puyuan shouted and shouted at Zhou Ping to retreat)

Zhou Puyuan: Get out of here! !

Fanyi: (wanting to chase) Ping——Zhou Puyuan: (stopping Fanyi) Forget it, Fanyi. How can such a cowardly man be worthy of your love? (To the audience) At this moment, I just want to say one thing, it feels so good to be a father! (Holding Fanyi in his arms, feeling extremely accomplished) Let’s go, before you find your ideal partner, feel a little wronged in my arms.

(Fanyi was crying, the two of them exited)

Voice-over: Zhou Ping was devastated and met the second villain - Lu Dahai.

Lu Dahai: Hey, isn’t this the eldest son of the Zhou family?

Zhou Ping: (Depressed) Yes, you are——Lu Dahai: My name is Lu Dahai. You are a noble man who forgets things. We used to be very familiar with each other. What's wrong with you today? I don’t look good!

Zhou Ping: Well, it’s a long story, so I might as well not say it.

Lu Dahai: No, if you want to treat me as a brother, just tell me that there is nothing I can’t do.

Zhou Ping: (raises a glimmer of hope) Really?

Lu Dahai: Yes, come on, come on, tell me!

(Zhou Ping and Lu Dahai had a conversation)

Lu Dahai: It’s just this little thing, it’s easy to handle, come on. (Whispering to Zhou Ping)

Zhou Ping: (confused) Is this okay?

Lu Dahai: Do you want to be with Fanyi?

Zhou Ping: I think so.

Lu Dahai: Just do it this way, there is no other good way.

Zhou Ping: (decided) Okay, but don’t hurt my dad!

Lu Dahai: Okay, don’t worry. (Pull Zhou Ping down)

(Lu Dahai pointed his pistol at Zhou Ping)

Lu Dahai: That’s it, call your dad out, and I’ll take the opportunity to control him. You can negotiate terms with him.

Scream!

Zhou Ping: (pretending to be trembling) Dad... help me...

(Zhou Puyuan and Fanyi enter anxiously)

Zhou Puyuan: (anxious ) What's going on? (Pointing at Lu Dahai) What do you want?

Fanyi: (More anxious than Zhou Puyuan) Ping! !

Lu Dahai: (ferocious) Humph, if you want your son’s life, just hand over the money!

Zhou Ping: (puzzled) That’s not right! You didn't say you wanted money!

Lu Dahai: You are so stupid! We are strangers, why should I help you? I deceived your trust and came to your house to make money! My dad is Lu Gui, a famous young woman killer! His old man will be here soon! Those of you who know your identity should hand over your money quickly. If you don’t know your identity, I will beat you to death and you can find the money yourself!

Zhou Puyuan: Pinger, you are so simple! (Pointing at Lu Dahai) If you let my son go, I will give you as much as you want!

(Zhou Ping broke away from Lu Dahai, and the two fought for the pistol. The gun went off, hitting Zhou Puyuan who rushed up)

Zhou Puyuan: Ah... (lying down on the ground)

p>

Zhou Ping: Dad—Fan Yi: Pu Yuan—Lu Dahai: (Surprised) It’s not my fault. (To himself) Hey, how can a fake gun kill someone?

Zhou Ping: (angrily directed at Lu Dahai) You killed my dad! !

Lu Dahai: (feared, trying to calm down) Don’t get excited, uh, calm down, uh, yes, think about it this way, if your father dies, who will take care of Fanyi? You! Don’t you have a reason to be with her? Who will stop you? You should thank me!

Zhou Ping: (nodding frequently) Yes, thank you!

(Zhou Ping and Fanyi thanked Lu Dahai, Zhou Puyuan suddenly sat up)

Zhou Puyuan: (angry) Wait! I'm not dead yet!

(Everyone is shocked)

Zhou Ping: (to Lu Dahai) He is not dead yet, what should I do?

Lu Dahai: (forcing himself to be calm) Don’t be impatient, wait first!

Zhou Ping/Fan Yi: Oh. (The two looked at Zhou Puyuan with expectant eyes)

Zhou Puyuan: (Struggling) I want to make a will, I want to make a will...

(Everyone ignored and ignored)

p>

Zhou Puyuan: (Sigh) My poor inheritance, how should I divide it?

(Everyone immediately gathered around, their faces full of concern)

Zhou Puyuan: (a victorious smile appeared on his face, then disappeared) I can’t survive, (to Fanyi) Fanyi , you are still young. Although I am very unforgettable for you, (expected) you also love me very much, (heroic), but you still forget me! Go chase your colorful life! !

Fanyi: (touched, nodding heavily) Don’t worry - I - will!

Zhou Puyuan: (disappointed) You really take it seriously! ? (Turns to Zhou Ping, confident again) Ping'er, my good son! All my inheritance belongs to you, can you help me take care of Fanyi? Your mother, mother!

Zhou Ping: (Comforting) You can go without worry, I will take good care of her, your daughter-in-law’s!

Zhou Puyuan: (Looking up to the sky and sighing) The world is really in trouble! ...My Shi Ping! Where are you? I miss you so much! (Falling to the ground)

(Everyone came forward, tried to breathe, and celebrated. Lu Gui and Lu Shiping came up arguing)

Lu Shiping: How could you let Dahai do it? What about this outrageous thing?

Lu Gui: (impatiently) Why are you so wordy! Otherwise, how can we have enough food and clothing? (Greeting to Lu Dahai) Dahai, how are you?

Lu Dahai: (comes closer and lowers his voice) The duck is cooked, everything goes well!

Lu Gui: A good son.

Make money!

Lu Shiping: (stopping) I asked you why you are so wicked! ? Did they provoke you? (Seeing Zhou Ping) Hey, why do you look so familiar to me? What's your name?

Zhou Ping: (numbly) My name is Zhou Ping.

Lu Shiping: What? ! (Dizzied) Could it be that... (throws towards Zhou Puyuan) Puyuan, it’s really you! Oh my gosh! ! (To Zhou Ping) Did you do it? !

(Zhou Ping waved her hands and backed away in fear)

Lu Shiping: (to Fanyi) Is that you? !

(Fanyi waved her hands and backed away in fear)

Lu Shiping: (looking at Lu Dahai, seeing the gun in Lu Dahai's hand) Dahai, it was you who did it! (sad and angry) Do you know? He is your biological father! !

Lu Dahai: (extremely regretful) What? He is my biological father! If I had known this, why should I do this? Isn’t money readily available?

Lu Shiping: (Reminiscence) Pu Yuan, I have been thinking about you all the time in the past twenty years! Why did I finally see you today, but you... I regret it so much! That night, I was obsessed with following this bastard! (Referring to Lu Gui)

Lu Gui: (to Lu Dahai) Son! Well done! If he hadn't died, your mother would have jumped ship tonight! !

Lu Shiping: You still said that! After watching "House of Flying Daggers", I thought someone called me Sui Feng, but actually his name was Lu Guier! What a rustic name! Pu Yuan, in the days without you, I know your value and ordinary happiness. If God can give me another chance, I will definitely come back to you, but it's too late... (crying)

Zhou Puyuan: What if I say it's not too late? (stands up)

(everyone is shocked)

Lu Shiping: Pu Yuan, you didn’t...

Zhou Puyuan: (emotionally) For you, I'm back... (holding Lu Shiping's hand, the two looked at each other)

Lu Dahai: (enlightened) Let me tell you, how can a fake gun kill someone?

Lu Gui: Idiot! How do you use a fake gun? Where's the real gun?

Lu Dahai: (Aggrieved) How can we have anything real at home?

Lu Gui: That’s right. Now it’s broken. Your mother doesn’t want you anymore.

(The music "The Most Romantic Thing" plays, Zhou Puyuan, Lu Shiping, Zhou Ping and Fanyi, working in pairs, take a step forward one after another)

Zhou Puyuan: I Understand, if you love someone, you should not only be nice to him, but also understand some emotions.

Lu Shiping: Ladies, plainness is the truth!

Zhou Puyuan/Lu Shiping: I wish everyone all the best and all your wishes come true!

(Two people take their final bow, part 2)

Zhou Ping: My fellow men, you should have more courage and be more persistent!

Fanyi: Sisters, the necessary encouragement is necessary, and the necessary waiting is to persist!

Zhou Ping/Fan Yi: May all lovers in the world finally get married! !

(The two of them take their final call, exit. Lu Gui and Lu Dahai move forward)

Lu Gui/Lu Dahai: What about us?

Lu Dahai: Dad! What should we do? !

Lu Gui: (trying to calm down) Don’t get excited, uh, calm down, uh, yes, if you think about it this way, we don’t have love, we are free from emotional ties, we have More time to work! Go and learn! ! We are very happy! (Forcing a smile)

Lu Dahai: (wry smile) Yes, we are very happy!

Lu Gui/Lu Dahai: (crying) We are very happy, very happy! Woo~~~~(Part 2)