Who can tell me a joke that hurts my stomach? Thank you.

1. The second brother in our dormitory is a devoted person, including sleeping ... One night, everyone slept for a long time, and suddenly the second brother fell out of bed, everyone.

Woke up. But they didn't bother to open their eyes for about five minutes. Just when everyone was about to fall asleep again, I heard my second brother get up from the ground. Shout: Shit, it turned out to be.

I fell down. ...

Snow White escaped from the palace and went to the forest. She saw a small room with seven small beds arranged inside. Snow White lay down and fell asleep. Seven little people at night

When she came back, Snow White said, "You are the seven dwarfs I shot." The seven men looked at each other and said, "You are in the wrong place. We are Hu Hu."

Loire. "

3. There are still 100 days, dear! There are 100 days of pure freshmen and student sisters coming! There is also a 100 day sophomore with a discount promotion, dear! still

A 100-day senior wants to buy one get one free, dear! There are still 100-day-old women coming off the shelves ~ dear ~! Hang in there ~ honey ~

4. The sixth national census office counted the funniest names in China: Lai (still a man), Fan Jian, Ji, Xia and Zhu.

Yiqun, (thanks to his parents' imagination), Pang Guang, Du Qiyan, Wei, Jiao Hougen, Shen Jingbing and. First place: Shi.

I just look at the ceiling at night, and then I count my fingers and predict that a terrible thing will happen in a few hours-I will be late for work again!

6. I especially want to praise myself when I get off work every day: awesome! Another fucking day!

7. You are fat, and your man's love for you has not changed, but the average love for each piece of meat is less. ...

8. At 4 o'clock in the middle of the night, a friend called and said, "Well, I just saw a missed call on your mobile phone last year, so I called to ask you.

What happened? "I was speechless. ...

9. See a girl's signature: When you point out your index finger to accuse others, please don't forget that the other four fingers are pointing at yourself. -Girl, this word

Very good! How profound! How philosophical! I'm just curious. How long do you think your thumb is?

China's final teams are: South Korea, Philippines, North Korea and Japan.

1 1. Gongsun Ce loves to lick his pen when he writes, and licked his mouth black in one day.

Zhan Zhao: Mr. Gongsun, I don't know if I should ask.

Gongsun Ce: You ask!

Zhan Zhao: Did you just kiss an adult?

Gongsun Ce: …

12. female: you should be good to me, or I will be jealous ... male: you are not beautiful, you are not smart, you are not diligent, you don't care about whole grains, are you sure you are out?

Behind the wall, is there anyone over there?

13. 1987 Philippine president's visit to China: "at least geographically, those islands are closer to the Philippines." XXX took a deep breath of his cigarette and said, "We'll hit you if you move."

Time, time to play, time to play, time to play, time to play, time to play, time to play, endless horizon is my love ... "

14. Weekly work summary of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of China: expressing dissatisfaction on Monday; Protest on Tuesday; Strongly condemned on Wednesday; Solemn representations on Thursday; I'm sorry about Friday. Saturday and Sunday

Rest. Organize suburban activities on holidays: go to North Korea to transplant rice seedlings. ...

15. China on the tip of the tongue Part II: Winter is coming. When Nanjing people in the southeast of China used blue alum to keep leeks fresh, Fucheng people in Hebei Province on the North China Plain were there.

Busy making old leather shoes into capsules. Not far from Shijiazhuang, people use Sudan red to process red heart duck eggs. Shandong people like to add formaldehyde to cabbage, while Liaoning people like to add formaldehyde to cabbage.

People like to add some sodium nitrite to bean sprouts. Across the country, delicious waste oil is sweeping across the land of China.

16 someone asked, "If someone from Taiwan Province Province confidently said,' I'm from Taiwan Province Province, not China'." What would you say? A: "You showed a little more power,

Everyone is from Taiwan Province Province!

17. Three things for township cadres: eating, taking and arresting abortion; Three things for county-level cadres: selling land, maintaining stability and collecting some money; Three things for provincial cadres: speech, inspection,

Make a performance. People do three things: pay, work hard and be in a daze.

18. Degang Guo: "the Monkey King is stupid and naive. He is a monkey and will never be a man. He was guarding the flat peach garden, and the seven fairies came to pick peaches. He shouted "Yes".

All seven fairies are here. He turned to pick peaches! Visible monkeys are monkeys! "Yu Qian:" What about you? Degang Guo: "I have to get a basket." "

. "

19. The customer specially invited me to dinner today to thank me. A year ago, the third party was getting older, and the forced marriage failed, claiming tens of millions. I suggest the client take her there.

Read a high-end EMBA. He spent 600 thousand to send her to school. She suddenly became a heartthrob in her class. I ignored my client in less than two months. -Actually, it was inspired by incense.

Zhao Shiceng, a Hong Kong playboy, said that if he wants to dump a woman easily, he should introduce her to a better man than himself.

20. Confess to the goddess who has been secretly in love for a long time. Goddess: I like being alone. Me: Who? Goddess: I like being alone! Me: Who is it? Goddess: I like being alone.

! ! ! Me: Who is it? ! Goddess: I like being single! ! !