Are there any funny jokes? Funny? I've seen many jokes and I don't think they're funny at all.

One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside. Mother shouted nervously outside the house: "Son ... what are you doing ... you won't come out after the fire ..." Son replied: "I'm wearing socks ..." Mother said: "What socks did you wear after the fire?" Five minutes later, my son hasn't come out yet ... The mother shouted nervously, "Son! Come out ~ it's on fire, stay inside … "The son said," I'm taking off my socks … "

I always thought that little Suda was the alkali used to steam steamed bread at home. I saw on the internet that brushing teeth with Xiao Su Da can whiten teeth, so I wanted to try it. As a result, I rushed into the bathroom with an alkali bag, and the toothpaste was alkali ... I felt cool when I brushed it, thinking it was quite good ... Then it was tragic ... The foam of brushing my teeth turned red, and after gargling, I found that the inner wall of my mouth was completely corroded, and I couldn't eat well for several days ...

A buddy went out to play with his girlfriend and met two girls. They don't know each other. From a distance, they look good, they seem to be ok, quite thin. It is said that my girlfriend gets angry when she sees her buddy looking at other girls, so she quickly says that thin girls look good and fat girls work well. My girlfriend is so beautiful that she whispered, "am I beautiful, ok?" As a result, two girls heard it, and one of them said, "Are you inflatable?"

Chatting with my boyfriend, when it comes to rising, my saliva splashed all over his face. Then instinctively wipe it off by hand. I was a little embarrassed, but I deliberately shifted my focus and pretended to be angry: "What? Don't like me, "he said with a gentleman's smile. "No, wipe it evenly!"

A man said sadly to his drinking buddy, "I didn't expect my wife to cheat on me." She told me that she was with her sister last night, but in fact, I was with her sister last night! " "

A man was drunk and went home by car. The driver is a lady. The man took off his clothes when he got on the bus. The female driver questioned his behavior, but he was frightened: "What are you doing in my house? I have a wife! "

One cold night, the two sisters went out to pee together. The elder sister went back to the house soon after urinating, and the younger sister squatted there for a long time before returning to the house. So, my sister asked my sister, how did you spread so fast? Sister replied, your brother-in-law drilled all this for me. My sister-in-law is curious. When I saw my brother-in-law one day, I said, I pee slowly. Please ask my brother-in-law to drill it for me, too. Brother-in-law deliberately embarrassed to say: this is not easy to do. Sister-in-law said: Why? Brother-in-law said there was a charge. Sister-in-law said, how much is it? Brother-in-law said: it costs twenty dollars to drill once. Sister-in-law said: What if I only have eighteen dollars? Brother-in-law said: That won't do. Sister-in-law said: all relatives. Brother-in-law, for the sake of relatives, help me drill it. Brother-in-law said awkwardly, who let you be my sister-in-law? If you need two, you need two. Then I'll help you drill. Afterwards, my sister-in-law went out to pee and spilled it on her pants because of the strong wind. Sister-in-law thundered: Damn it, she said she was a relative. Didn't she give two yuan less, so she gave her aunt a crooked diamond. It's fucking not authentic.

The man asked the woman for a knot, and the woman said no.

The man asked, no, why not?

The woman said, my breasts are too small.

The man said, how big is it?

The woman said that it is as big as a steamed bread.

The man said it was as big as steamed bread.

They got married two months later.

On the wedding night, the man was crying outside the room.

A man came to ask, isn't today your big day? Why are you crying?

The man said: Wangzai steamed bread.

A child selling tofu always thinks that a nun is a monk's daughter-in-law. One day, a nun went to buy tofu, and the child called her "monk's daughter-in-law" This made a nun very angry and left without giving tofu money.

Children cry when they sit on the ground. At this time, a monk happened to pass by, and the child grabbed him and said, "Your daughter-in-law doesn't give money for eating tofu!" " "

The monk asked, "Where can I have a daughter-in-law?" "That's the nun." "You call her aunt and she will give you money."

The child went to the nun happily: "Aunt, please give me the tofu money."

Seeing that the child no longer called her "monk's daughter-in-law", the nun happily gave money and asked, "Who told you to call her that?" "Uncle."

Triboelectricity, a middle school physics teacher, said in class: We take off our sweaters in winter. The sweater creaked. And lightning. But not in summer. Why?

Boy in the back: Because I don't wear sweaters in summer.

My parents are not at home tonight, so I have to cook and stir-fry by myself. After pouring the oil into the pot, I heard the phone ringing in the bedroom, ran back to the bedroom with my mobile phone, and walked to the kitchen while talking on the phone. When I got to the kitchen, I saw the oil boiling and spilled everywhere. I threw my mobile phone in the pot when I got excited. . . . . .

Some buses in Hangzhou are high-end, so the glass is stuffy. It says: Break the glass in an emergency. The temperature has risen these days, and the bus is hot, and there are many people on the bus. The most depressing thing is not knowing that the immoral guy put a silent fart in the car. . . Later, the glass broke. . .

One night, my parents came back from playing mahjong. I woke up when they came home, but I was still confused.

Suddenly my leg cramps died (I think it is very long), and then I jumped out of bed. At that time, my consciousness was very vague, and I just wanted to take two steps to suppress the feeling of cramp. As a result, I took two steps and felt that I could not persist any longer. I plopped down on my knees in front of my father and gave him a fright. Kneeling down, I felt no cramps, then stood up silently and turned back to my room to sleep. There was not a word in the whole process. I guess my father was petrified at that time.