A short and funny sentence to keep you quiet

1. Those who can’t lose weight are always in a commotion, and those who can’t eat fat have nothing to fear.

2. Wear other people’s shoes, walk your own path, and let them find it.

3. Don’t be as optimistic as shit and think you can shake things up.

4. Three points are destined, seven points depend on hard work, and ninety points depend on the teacher.

5. Think of a thousand roads at night, and take the same path when you get up in the morning.

6. My socks are full of holes, my future is not a dream.

7. I was also young and pretty, but unfortunately now my youth is gone, and I am just this pretty.

8. My deep love for you cannot be put into words, except to say get out of here.

9. For girls: If you go out to hang out, sooner or later you will get pregnant.

10. There is no cow dung anywhere in the world, so why have unrequited love for a piece of shit.

11. If one day men all over the world menstruate, I will sell sanitary napkins.

12. Don’t speak English in front of me in the future, okay?

13. If a man doesn’t help you put on your wedding dress, give him a cassock.

14. If I were a zombie, I would definitely eat the brains of all good students.

15. Play mahjong and eat spicy hotpot. Find a little partner, that's how life goes.

16. In this era where the price of everything is rising, I suddenly discovered to my joy that the price of air has not increased, but that the price of air has increased.

17. So far, three apples have changed the world: one tempted Eve, one woke up Newton, and one was in the hand of Steve Jobs.

18. Now in Beijing, you can only breathe and fart without queuing.

19. Even if you already have an owner, I will still take over.

20. Goose, goose, cut the curved neck with a knife, pluck the hair, add a ladle of water, light the fire and cover the pot!

21. Saw a Weibo article saying whether you are willing Fall in love with yourself. I struggled for a long time and finally chose not to. Suddenly I no longer blamed those who abandoned me.

22. Come out for a moment. I have something I want to talk to you about. What to talk about? Love.

23. A woman came back from the supermarket and complained angrily: If the customer is always right, why isn't everything free?

24. There are flowers in spring, moon in autumn, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter. If there are no troubles to worry about, it is a good time in the world.

25. No one can predict the future, so there are always people who regret the past.

26. Only if you are irreplaceable, you will not be fired, but if you remain irreplaceable, you will not be promoted.

27. Spring is here, the greenery is abundant, and he is here too, dressed in green! md, even the hat is green!

28. People like the spring breeze and hate the cold wind. In fact, the cold wind is innocent, it is the temperature that is causing trouble!

29. The computer is the microphone of the angry, it spreads our curses late at night!

30. I don’t like the girl named Jenny, but I like the one named Mani!

31. I didn’t say you were shameless, I meant that shameless people are like you.

32. Pretending is only for a moment, being shameless is eternity.

33. There are some things that you don’t need to argue about, and you can obey on the surface but resist secretly.

34. I drank to drown the pain, but this damn pain learned to swim.

35. If you don’t abandon it, you will never leave it in this life. If you dislike it, you will die and leave.

36. God gave us seven emotions and six desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

37. Before I met you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, wow! It’s all dark

38. In today’s society, you have to wait in line to jump in line.

39. When three people are together, my wife must be included. I will choose the beautiful one and take her.

40. Poor Nike, rich Adidas, gangster wearing Armani.

41. The most glorious moment of Apple was when it hit Newton on the head.

42. I don’t need you to understand, I just need you to shut up.

43. Every time the flowers of the motherland bloom, I step on them.

44. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out.

45. Whether you are stupid or not depends on whether you can pretend to be stupid.

46. It’s not my fault that I eat secretly, it’s the loneliness of my mouth.

47. I am not Youlemei, I am just dichlorvos. Do you want to hold me in the palm of your hand?

48. Boss, do you have any Coke? Bring me a bottle of Sprite

49. I think the earth is so dangerous, and I miss Mars.

50. Who is the queen of a famous family? Your father is Marshal Tianpeng!

51. Kettle, why are you crying? Is it because your butt is too hot?

52. The wind was so strong that all my mobile phone signals were blocked by China Unicom’s!

53. Staying up late is because you don’t have the courage to end the day; staying in bed is because you don’t have the courage to start the day.

54. Not only do I have good luck, but I also have good athlete’s foot.

55. Every time I try to cram the Buddha, the Buddha always gives me a kick.

56. I can’t see through others’ laughter, but I laugh at others for not wearing anything.

57. If a person lives by eating, then the meal is not called rice, but feed.

58. I took your promise to feed the dog last night, and found the dog dead the next morning.

59. Every time I write a resume, I will admire myself more than before.

60. The high-voltage electricity in your eyes is enough to last my mobile phone for a year.

61. Don’t think that because you look rare, we should value the rare thing.

62. Youth, you are so acne-prone!

63. In every dormitory there is one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, one who snores, and one who sleeps very late.

64. Master, after you get Lao Na’s cassock, you will be Lao Na’s person.

65. If cutting off my hair means cutting off my memories, then if I cut my head bald, can I lose my memory?

66. I wanted to turn around magnificently, but unexpectedly hit the wall in a low-key manner.

67. I planted my boyfriend into the ground in the spring, and by autumn, I forgot about it.

68. I said to the mirror, mirror, mirror, am I the most beautiful in the world? The mirror broke.

69. There are two most difficult things in the world: one is to put your thoughts into other people’s heads, and the other is to put other people’s money into your own pockets. If the former is successful, he can be called the teacher, if the latter is successful, he can be called the boss. If both are successful, he can be called his wife, university or church!

70. I am not the kind of person who adds insult to injury. I just seal the well.

71. Baidu can’t search for you, so I have to go to Sogou!

72. You are so cute that you attract countless blind people to bow to you.

73. I often wake up from my dreams because I had a hungry dream, a very hungry dream.

74. When a man is dumped, it’s about money, when a woman is dumped, it’s about appearance, when I was dumped, there’s something wrong with your fucking head.

75. If you live, you will die sooner or later. If you die, you will live forever.

76. You play with your customization, and I play with my formatting.

77. Miss, I’m sorry, I’m not handsome. But not every woman has the opportunity.

78. It’s not that I’m obsessed with legends, it’s just that legends are so beautiful.

79. Brother is just a game, but you are obsessed with it.

80. Don’t be obsessed with your brother, your sister-in-law is the legend.

81. If you are handsome and have a car, that is chess. If you have money and a house, that is a bank.

82. God created virgins, and I created women.

83. If you look at the past, it’s all stuff. Girl, who do you want to live with?

84. Don’t use your video playing speed to challenge Gola Hei’s skills.

85. A fox is not a monster, and sexy is not a coquettish one.

86. Various postures, various moves. All kinds of surging, all kinds of floating.

87. It’s not necessarily a virgin who cries out in pain, but it’s definitely a bitch who seduces a man.

88. If a woman mixes well, she is a sister-in-law; if she does not mix well, she is a bitch.

89. Although the bird is small, it really fills the entire sky.

90. Cucumbers must be photographed and life must be exciting.

91. Love is just a beautiful thing when you are lonely.

92. Distance does not produce beauty, but the third party.

93. Most people seem to be unable to resist the power of mistresses.

94. Every woman will always fall for a certain man.

95. Life is like making a phone call, either you hang up first or I hang up first!

96. People should not be judged by their appearance, and mistresses should not be judged.

97. Goods have expiration dates, and people sometimes get tired of them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

98. When someone is pretending to be cool, I will lower my head. It’s not that I’m well-educated, I’m just looking for bricks.

99. When you and I were young, we ended up with answers full of mistakes because we failed to learn the lesson of love.

100. A little girl once said to me upstairs: Brother, you are so handsome! I immediately replied: Handsome or not, it doesn’t matter. Funny phrases to keep you quiet

1. There is gold at the man’s knees, so I bent down to pick up the gold!

2. I heard someone say that I am beautiful, but later I heard someone say that he has a problem with aesthetics.

3. My heart is like that little biscuit, I can’t help but break it and soak it!

4. Is there such a person that you have blocked but are still waiting for his friend request?

5. Spit is used to count money, not to reason.

6. In fact, the things you lose have never really belonged to you, so there is no need to regret it.

7. Women like two flowers in their lives: one is to spend money when they have it, and the other is to spend it as much as possible.

8. Chairman Mao said: Any horse that does not aim to provide strength is just a cloud.

9. In my dreams, I always want to find a donkey in vain. When I open my eyes, I find that the world is full of gray donkeys.

10. Not every milk is called Sauternes, and not everyone is as pure as me.

11. The difference between a lie and an oath is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

12. Xiao 3’s shy appearance can never conceal her inner turmoil.

13. My sister has been imitated by you all the time, but no one has gotten my true version. Talk about mood phrases

14. As the saying goes: Rabbits don’t eat the grass beside their nests! I think: Why run all over the mountain when there is grass beside the nest?

15. Is there such a person that you have blocked but keep waiting for his friend request?

16. Three good students. Our goals and our efforts: good food, fun, and good sleep.

17. When you are proud, your friends will know you. When you are in trouble, you make friends.

18、此仇不报非君子，敢报此仇揍死你

19、一个男人愿意给女人多少时间，就是他有多爱他。

20. I am not a locust, I am not a centipede, I only love my mean brother, perfect love.

21. If someone gets high scores in the exam, they require me to get high scores in the exam. Why don’t you buy a Ferrari if they drive one?

22. Don’t pretend to me that you live a wonderful life and wish me happiness. Do you have the qualifications?

23. The day before yesterday, I was sleepwalking again and used chopsticks as chicken feet to eat one and a half.

24. When you leave, don’t come back, because no one will wait for you where you are.

25. Just because we have a holiday, you can’t treat me as a holiday.

26. When I go to school, I want to take a vacation, and when I have a vacation, I want to go to school again. Classic Funny Quotations You Yimo - Funny Quotes

You are really an authentic beauty - you are only considered a beauty in the tunnel, because there are no lights in the tunnel.

Love is like pi, infinite and endless...

I can't play chess, calligraphy and painting, but I feel tired from doing laundry and cooking.

One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female.

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

I drank to drown the pain, but this damn pain learned to swim.

Falling is not terrible. What is terrible is that when a person falls, he is very sober.

Even if the bowl is made of iron, what will you eat if there is no food in it?

When my teacher told me the definition of "handsome guy" when I was a child, I couldn't understand it. Later, my classmate brought me a mirror, and suddenly I understood.

It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.

Love is like two people holding a rubber band. The one who gets hurt is always the one who is unwilling to let go.

Wear other people's shoes, walk your own way, and let them find it.

Driving is not difficult, I'm afraid there are new people!

Only women and heroes have trouble, and wives and jobs are hard to find.

There are three things that hurt people: worries, quarrels, and empty wallets. The most hurtful of all is an empty wallet.

I am an actor - my eyes widen when I see a beautiful girl.

Don’t speak English in front of me in the future.

When the sky falls, you hold it up and I hold it up...

The can pull ring loves the can, but the can can I have Coke in my heart

I am like a fly lying on the glass. The future is bright, but I can't find a way out.

Being crowded in Beijing brings trouble to the capital...

Who can be as loyal to my feelings as to RMB

She is hers, Death is her mascot.

Occasionally, you will feel happy if you are silent for a while, but it will be miserable if you are silent for a while.

1. Some things can only be missed as time passes.

2. If a relationship does not make you a better person, then it is a pity that you are with the wrong person.

3. If love fails to bring joy to each other, one person will inevitably end up in the wilderness.

4. If you are destined to miss it, let its beauty stay before it has time to fade away.

5. Believe it or not, there is someone waiting to meet someone like you.

6. I quietly think about my own path. Love is a poem, beautiful and full of charm, but sadness is naturally hidden in sentences that are so sad that they hurt. I pay for you, feel sad for you, and suffer for you, but you can't see it. My thoughts are entangled by your figure, but you still live freely and freely. My blind efforts will only make me look humble.

The first love is so sad, so even if you reluctantly get close in the future, it will only be a silent hurt.

7. Because there are too many misses, there are always many tragic regrets.

8. We are like two parallel lines, very close and very far, with no intersection.

9. The cold wind is biting, who can understand this feeling. After letting go, will you still vaguely remember me? The cold wind penetrates the coldness of my body. Who cares about me walking alone on the street in the dark night. When can I be freed from myself that is blocked in my memory? I hate myself after being hurt. Being hurt again and again makes people so decadent that they have nowhere to retreat.

10. If God allows me to make a wish, I will fall in love with you in the fifth season.

11. If you are not happy, if you are not happy, then let it go. If you can't bear it or let it go, then it will be painful. Life is like a bouquet of flowers, only when you look at it carefully can you see its beauty; life is like a cup of tea, only when you savor it carefully can you appreciate the true taste. We should taste the philosophy of life from failure, success and life.

12. Turning around, parting, tears, decadence, the breakup melody is playing in a high-key tone

13. Love is a kind of sacrifice, and the only reason for those who are willing to wrong themselves is, Just love each other deeply. Everything is calm, but the scary thing is that time goes too fast. We are all confused and wandering. The plot may not change. Although it has turned yellow and blurry, it will always be dusty in our eyes. Since we are lost in love and hurt, we just sing all the way to the end, the curtain of love, Let's walk through it together.

14. Say what you want to say as much as possible. Whether the dream is reality or nothingness, its process is beautiful. As long as you work hard for your dreams, your life will be regret-free. Learn to cherish what we have in life. We can see the warm sunshine and enjoy the bright weather every day. Life is beautiful and touching!

15. Occasionally, you will feel happy if you silence your life, but it will be miserable if you silence your life.

16. I give you the best love, but you leave the saddest ending to me.

17. Two atriums, one houses the most important self, and the other has been abandoned long ago.

18. You don’t know how long I have been waiting for you. Therefore, I would rather say goodbye than live apart.

19. I want to give you happiness, but I can’t enter your world. I want to exchange my whole world for a ticket to your world, but that is just my wishful thinking. In my world, you don't care; in your world, I am expelled. I really like you. I closed my eyes and thought I could forget it, but the tears I shed did not fool me.

20. Only by taking destiny into our own hands can we find the sparkle of life.

Twenty-one, walking alone to the end of the sea and the end of the world, with no way to return, and face covered with frost.

22. People who fall in love with us and people who have hurt us are the meaning of our youthful existence.

23. Every couple wants to give each other the deepest and truest love. They always think that with love, two people can live a life like heaven, but they never thought that love can also There will be hurt, there will be pain, and there will be scars. Falling in love gives people more opportunities to hurt each other, because the door to each other's hearts is open to each other, because there is no guard, and because the softest parts are exposed to each other, it is easier to hurt each other.

24. Silence does not mean that I am weak, crying is because I have loved before.

25. Every time I wake up from a dream, I feel lonely. Who knows the heartache and tears. Sometimes I really hope that I am no longer myself. I am always right. I said to myself: Just take a deep breath, but I took deep breaths many times, but I still couldn't relieve the weight in my heart. In the silence every night, only the sound of heartbreak could be heard. At that time, I realized that the so-called forever was just a turn away.

26. The tears are my own. No matter how painful or sad I feel, no outsider can feel it.

27. People cannot promise too much when they are young. They may not be able to pay back when they grow up.

28. It may be only a part of your life, but you are its whole life.

29. It turns out that we have not grown up. It turns out that we are all still children. It turns out that I only had a dream during my nap, experienced growth, and experienced many irreparable mistakes and sadness.

Thirty, it doesn’t matter if your head is empty, the most important thing is not to get water! It doesn’t matter if water gets in! The most important thing is not to keep a goldfish in it!

31. Love will end when it comes to an end. When the time comes, you don’t have to let it end even if you don’t want to.

32. If you don’t love someone, please let go so that others can have a chance to love them. If the person you love gives up on you, please let go of yourself so that you can have the opportunity to love someone else. You don’t have to own someone to love someone, but if you own someone, you must love them well.

Thirty-three, I have no acting skills in emotional dramas.

34. If there is a sound in missing you, I hope it is not a sad cry.

Thirty-five. A centipede is bitten by a snake and must be amputated to prevent the venom from spreading! The centipede thought: Fortunately, it has many legs~!! The doctor comforted him and said: Brother, be more open-minded, you will be an earthworm in the future.

Thirty-six. I also want to talk about a relationship that has broken up. I have been single for a long time. I know what it is about.

Thirty-seven. Always remember your smiling eyes, and your answer will always lack a memory.

Thirty-eight. When I woke up from a dream, memories of you came overwhelmingly. At that moment, my face burst into tears

Thirty-nine. People are iron, and style is Just now, don’t pretend to be panicked all day long.

Forty, let you be crazy in a place without me, and let me be strong in a world without you. Love never stops, how brave you need to be if you want to go to the end of the world. The hands of memory always pick up the bright sadness. Time is a train that never stops, carrying us to enjoy every scenery we pass. As time passes by, I have been recalling the beauty that bloomed proudly in those fleeting years.

41. There is a kind of love, which is obviously deep love, but the expression is imperfect; there is a kind of love, which knows clearly that one wants to give up, but is not willing to leave; there is a kind of love, which knows clearly that one wants to wait, but stupidly There is a kind of love, which is clearly not in contact, but it will desperately think of the other person; there is a kind of love, which knows that it will be hurt, but is unwilling to let go; there is a kind of love, which knows that there is no way forward, but the heart has long since been unable to take it back.

42. Between you and me, it’s either a miss or a fault. I thought time would be a good healing medicine, but I didn’t expect that it would be my heart that would be used as medicine.

Forty-three, the brilliance of his dawn is looming, but on my side, it is already twilight, and it is difficult to distinguish with my hands.

44. I once thought I would never forget someone, but I forgot them in just a moment.

45. Sadness becomes clear and transparent because of tears, but sadness without tears is more hurtful than sadness with tears. The sadness with tears will heal slowly after being washed away by tears; the sadness without tears will have the deepest wounds and will take longer to heal.

Forty-six. I am not a rag collector. I can't do it at will.

Forty-seven. What cannot be retained is the human heart, and what cannot be resisted is betrayal.

48. When you really want to forget someone, that person is already engraved in your heart.

49. As long as you call his name, you will no longer be afraid. As long as you call his name, you will feel that you have become braver and stronger, and you will become very, very strong. 1. Sometimes, I’m not ignoring you, I’m just waiting for you to speak first. Sometimes, I really want to talk to you, but I am afraid that you will find me annoying. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to. Sometimes, I really want you to understand me, even if I don't say anything. Sometimes, I always have the urge to cry, but I don’t know why.

Sometimes, what I care about is not what you said, but what you didn't say

Fifty, please don't use unnecessary moaning to describe sadness. If you have long been numb or degenerate, let words heal you

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51. Don’t make me angry, or you will be on the evening news tonight.

52. Perhaps, those who have never loved are lonely, and those who have loved are lonely. Life is like a play, interpreting the origin and destruction, whether it is together or divided, it will disappear after the play is over. . Life is like a dream. The joys and sorrows in the dream, right or wrong, will all disappear after you wake up. No matter how good things are, we will eventually lose them one day; deep memories will eventually be forgotten one day; no matter how much we love, people will eventually leave; no matter how beautiful the dream is, there will eventually be a day when we wake up; I want to laugh For life, but always inadvertently, the pain falls on the ground.

53. The feeling of missing someone is like drinking a glass of ice-cold water and then turning into tears drop by drop. I love you the most, but you hurt me the most. I know everything is fate, but why don’t I want to give up? I know I’m not worthy of you, but I still can’t control it. I miss you. What controls all this? I don’t know, maybe, this is love. .

54. The evidence of love can never be taken away, but has been forgotten for a long time.

Fifty-five, you! It’s only 50 cents for a handful of small green vegetables that are about to be sold out at the vegetable market!

56. A person always has to take a strange road, see strange scenery, listen to strange songs, and then at an inadvertent moment, you will find that what you originally tried so hard to forget Things were really forgotten.

Fifty-seven. Whether a person succeeds in his life or not depends on the memorial service

Fifty-eight. On the day of letting go, he is always lonely and will inexplicably do it for a song. , a play, a plot. Or even just one sentence brings tears to my eyes. I always feel that the sky is dark and the clouds are gray.

Fifty-nine, so many times, memories have drawn life into a circle, and we have been spinning around in circles countless times, unable to escape. I always hope to return to the place where we first met. If I could choose again, I thought I could love more innocently.