Humorous jokes about banks.

I. Small change

When my brother got married, he asked me to change 50 yuan and 20 yuan into small red envelopes.

I took 1k and went to the bank to exchange it. Nb has an extremely bad attitude. No, can't I change it for you?

What a bad attitude. I asked viciously? Say it again? This guy is great, right? Isn't it?

I said? You wait? Nb said? Are you threatening me?

I said with my ID card? Account opening deposit 1k? .

I said, is it over? Another 20? Fill 20 twice in a row.

Nb said? What do you mean?

? Can't I withdraw money, take it 50 times and then close the account?

Nb despondently gave me 50 brand-new 20 yuan, * * *! ! !

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Second, why is it called CCB?

I just went to the * * * bank next to the hospital to withdraw money. There are many ATM machines at the door, and everyone is waiting in line to bask in the sun.

But the strange thing is that there is only one customer in the business hall.

So I went to a window and said to the dragon, Put on airs shop assistant, take 800 yuan.

The man even said he could pick it up at the ATM outside. I asked him why he couldn't get it at the counter.

He said that everyone below 5000 will take it from ATM, saying that it is to save time, improve efficiency and divert. I was stupid. Diversion?

I asked him, there is a long line outside the ATM, and there is no one inside. How much efficiency has this saved?

Which document stipulates that you can't go to the counter for less than 5000? Any other bank will do!

That son of a bitch said it was a * * * file. I said show it to me! He can't take it out, but he just won't take it anyway.

I looked at the people waiting in line outside to bask in the sun, and then at the people reading newspapers and blowing air conditioners in S 13. I was too angry to call.

I decided to destroy him.

I said yes, then take 5000! After that, he gave me 5000, and I took 100 and said to save 100!

He couldn't deposit money at the ATM, so he did. When he finished typing this 100, I took 100 again and said to save it 100!

That son of a bitch said you couldn't save it once?

I said that the document I sent to myself stipulated that I could only save 100 at a time. What's the matter? I will deposit 100 once and 100 once.

Slowly surrounded by many supporters, everyone said well done!

Someone next to me immediately did the same thing with me.

Finally, they led out and said arrogantly, you disturb the financial order, I will call the police. .

I said I was saving money. Isn't a bank a place to save money? You have a file that says you can't save 100 at a time. Show me!

Many people around me support me and accuse me loudly.

Finally, the leader said sorry, and we will definitely improve our working methods in the future. Convenience for everyone, and so on. .......

When I turned to leave, I said to him, now I know why you are CCB, because you are very * * *!

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Third, China Merchants Bank * *

I went to China Merchants Bank to withdraw money (for the company) two days ago. As a result, I found a fake RMB 100 when I copied it. Because I am a financial major, and the company also has previous cases (some people found that the salary paid by the bank was fake), so I pay special attention. Then I said to the counter lady: Miss, there is something wrong with your money.

Miss: What's the problem?

I said: fake.

Miss: No way. You left the counter.

I was angry at that time: What happened to your eyes? Which eye did you see me leave the counter?

So I had a quarrel with her, and she had a bad attitude, as if I was looking for money on purpose, and her words were sharp to me ~

I said, is there something wrong with your copier? You didn't call the police when you copied it? Guess what? Let's call the police.

Richard ~ Not that if you find * * call 1 10 ~!

By this time, the bank had already quarreled ~ the president of the bank came out ~ things were not asked clearly ~ and they were dumped at the first time

Bottom line: Did you leave the counter? If you leave the counter, you can't prove that this fake is ours!

My emperor Poirot! I thought it was ridiculous: did he come out to solve the problem? If you don't say anything, you will push the responsibility clean.

I said, did I leave the counter? It doesn't count ~ so watch the surveillance video ~ or I'll call the police to see what you do ~

At this time, the bank president began to be a little? Soft? After coming down, my attitude has been greatly improved, and I also smiled and said to me:

So what do you think is the solution? You make a plan.

I was a little dizzy and didn't think much: 1 penalty 10! Blurt out ~

Bank President: 1 Payment 10, which is unlikely. How about 50% discount? I thought about it ~ finally, I took the money and said to the president and the counter lady, you'd better remember this face in the future and stop playing anything. Pattern? (Many banks violate the regulations of * * * * and often issue * *, most of which are accounts with large numbers, which are not easy to find. Finally, the president greeted me out of the door with a big smile on his face ~

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