Who can tell a few jokes?

Please accept the widow and her brother-in-law There is a widow who lives with her brother-in-law, and they have been living in peace. But that night, the widow couldn't bear it any longer. She rushed to her brother-in-law's room and said loudly, "Now I order you to take off my clothes." Brother-in-law stared blankly for a moment, but he did it obediently. Then she said, "Now I order you to take off my pants." Brother-in-law did the same. The widow had only underwear left, but she said to her brother-in-law, "Now I order you to take off all my underwear." Brother-in-law was shocked! ! But I did what she said. At this time, the widow was naked! ! So she said to her brother-in-law: "Now please see clearly that our body structures are completely different. Please stop wearing my underwear! The sailor said that a sailor had just landed after spending several months at sea. I rushed to a porn hotel. He told the porter that he wanted to find a girl to work for, but there was no money in his pocket. The concierge said it would cost 40 yuan to fuck a girl. See * * * show (humor show) charge 20 yuan. But this guy gambled all his money on the boat, leaving only five dollars. " Please, brother. I am at sea. It hasn't been released for months. Try to help! Please "the sailor kept begging. The porter thought about it, took the money, took the sailor to a room upstairs and left. Entering the room, the sailor looked around except for a rooster (real chicken! ), nothing. It was the last straw, and the sailor persuaded himself to climb on the ground and dry a "chicken", which solved the temporary fire. Then leave quietly! Two weeks later, the sailor returned. "20 yuan can do here? "。 This time, he won some money and the porter took it. Without saying anything, he led the water upstairs again. But came to the door of another room. Pushing open the door, the sailor saw a large group of people in front of the one-way mirror on the wall, watching two women playing through the mirror. "It's fucking beautiful! "The sailor was so fascinated that he couldn't help commenting on the people standing next to him." This is nothing to see! The friend replied without looking back, "If you had come two weeks earlier, you would have seen a boy fucking a rooster there." "When the class is over early, the female teacher writes on the blackboard on the podium. A naughty student peeked under her. The female teacher heard the snickering and turned to look at the students. Knowing that it was not a good thing, she shouted angrily and asked, "Who is it?" Xiao Taofei in the second row raised his hand and admitted, "Teacher, I saw your briefs." "Well, starting today, you are not allowed to have classes in the classroom for three days. "After Xiao Taofei left the classroom automatically, the female teacher began to turn around and write on the blackboard. Her hand reached higher and her skirt was pulled up. At this time, another student peeped behind her and was found by her. She asked angrily, "Who is it?" This time it's Tom. He sits in the second row. He admitted: "teacher, I saw your briefs, and I saw the black hair on both sides." "The teacher was furious and roared," You leave the classroom at once and don't come to class for a month. After Tom left, the teacher turned to face the blackboard again. Her mood fluctuates like boiling water. She accidentally dropped the chalk in her hand. When she bent down to pick it up, Billy immediately cleaned up the books, papers and pens on the table. " What are you doing? Billy. ""I have seen the teacher's two big breasts. I think I must graduate early. "This is a wonderful plan. A young man has just moved in next door to widow Zhang. He is quite tall, but his eyes are full of lust. Widow Zhang often flirts with him in a variety of ways, and the young man also likes the charm of the widow. They often flirt with each other. However, it all depends on the widow Zhang's son. He didn't want them to get along, so he came up with a plan. He told his mother, "I once saw a young man urinating, which was very strange!" His work is as big as a bowl. Then, he said to the young man, don't mess with my mother, she has many teeth! "My son must have scared them for this reason, but that night, they hooked up and prepared to have a good fight. In the darkness, the widow lay sprawled on the bed with her legs spread apart. The gang remembered her son's words, but did not dare to try rashly, so they tried it with clenched fists. Widow Zhang felt a collision of hard objects, and suddenly remembered that her son had said that his work was as thick as a bowl. When she was in a hurry, she grabbed it with her hands and grabbed the boy's fist with her pointed nails. The young man felt a pain and ran away, feeling glad that he had tried it with his fist first, otherwise her sharp teeth and my penis would not be bitten off by it. Fool Once upon a time, there was a fool who had been married for a long time and still didn't understand the way of husband and wife. His wife was very upset, so she had to take the initiative to teach him the courtesy of Duke Zhou. The fool tasted the sweetness for the first time. He was so excited that he said in surprise, "It's amazing that my bird can get into your stomach." His wife taught him how to pump. After exercising for a while, the climax came, and the fool shouted, "Oh, dear! That bird wants to pee, and I can never pee on you. He jumped up and looked under his wife, but he was even more surprised and shouted, "What, I pierced a hole under her, she is bleeding!" "The fool put on his clothes and ran out in a hurry. He ran to the tailor's house next door and asked the tailor to sew his wife's ass at home. Otherwise, he will bleed. The tailor did Sarah laugh, even a fool can be silly, and took the opportunity to ask for a wife. At this time, his wife's orgasm has not subsided, which is just a good thing for him. When the tailor finished, he came out and said to the fool, "I finished sewing." Go and have a look! " The fool went in and scolded, "Damn it, I told him to sew with a needle and thread, and he just finished with paste." "Lao Zhao, a little puss-head, went to subic bay to gamble with a tour group and won 600 yuan. He was glad to find a call girl to have fun. When they finished, Lao Zhao generously paid her 100 dollars. The call girl said excitedly, "Wow! Great! You are really good at it. Can you do it again? This rabbit fee. " "Really? Great! "So, Lao Zhao cheered up again and appreciated each other again." You are so capable, try again! I'll pay you one hundred dollars this time. "The girl asked. Hearing this, Lao Zhao wanted to cheer up and do it again, but he was so tired that he looked at his useless things and hung them there softly. He said helplessly, "useless things are fierce when they pay, but they are like cowards when they make money." "One day of milking, a lady was sitting on the bus with a bottle of fresh milk in her hand. When the bus arrived at a big station, there were more and more people, and it was so crowded that it was hard to breathe ... Soon the fresh milk taken by the young lady was crowded with stockings. The young lady was furious: yuck! ! Don't squeeze! You've milked her. Roast Duck One day, a young man walked into a roast duck restaurant. Miss, do you sell roast duck? . The shopkeeper is a young girl. Yes! And Beijing roast duck and Nanjing dried salted duck! What flavor would you like, sir? Um ... What's the difference? . Okay ... okay! You come with me. Say that finish, the girl took her husband to the kitchen. Look! As she spoke, the girl grabbed a duck in a cage and put her hand into the duck's anus. Gaga. ㄚㄚ! ! Ducks are fighting. Did you hear that? The girl said with a smile, this sound is the cry of Nanjing salted duck. Oh ... the young man then asked, how about Beijing roast duck? The girl then grabbed the duck in another cage and stuck it again with her hand. ㄍㄧㄚㄚ! ! ! Hey! This is Beijing roast duck! What kind do you want, sir? Ok ... I want to buy a Nanjing salted duck. After that, the girl wrapped him a dried salted duck. Thank you for your patronage! The girl said with a smile. You're welcome. The young man replied with a smile and turned away. Oh! By the way, miss, where are you from? ..... The young man asked with a smile. The girl smiled shyly and said, do you want to go to the bathroom with me to see who is great? Do you know what kind of man is the most arrogant in the world? Texas cowboys and Russian hunters! One day, a Texan and a Russian hunter were drinking in a small bar in Siberia. It's snowing outside and it's warm as spring inside. Drinking and drinking, the two began to wrangle and brag to each other that they were the strongest men in the world; Blowing and blowing, the two men were so angry that they were about to fight. Seeing that something was wrong, the bartender ran out to stop the fight and said, "It's not like you went out to do something and proved that you are the strongest person in the world, so I bought the winner." "The Russian hunter said," This is my territory. I'm leaving now. "I went out bravely at once ... After about half an hour, the Russian hunter came back askew, unkempt and bloodied, leaning against the bar:" Bring the wine, I won. " "Wait a minute!" The Texan said, "What did you do?" "I defeated a polar bear with my bare hands! The Texan walked out without saying a word. ..... This time, after an hour, I saw Texans stumbling back, dripping blood all the way, lying on the bar: "Come on! I'm sure to win this time. ""Wait a minute! What did you do? " Asked the Russian hunter. The Texan proudly replied, "I fucked a polar bear! ! 』