Shall we tell some jokes? I'll have one first ~!

The husband complained: "There are too many children, one a year, I can't stand it!

Starting today, I will sleep in the attic. "

"If it really works," the wife said happily, "I'd like to move, too.

Sleep in the attic. "

A beautiful woman was unwell, and the doctor asked the female patient to undress.

"Doctor!" The lady said softly, "I dare not take off my clothes in front of you ..."

"All right!" The doctor said, "I'll turn off the light first and tell me when you take off your clothes."

A minute later, the young lady whispered in the dark, "I took it off!" " Put the clothes there. "

"Put it here ~" said the doctor. "Just put it on my clothes."

There is a man and a woman crossing the bridge. A tiger stared at the bridge, and the woman took off her clothes after a little thought.

The man also learned to undress, but was tackled by the tiger.

Men don't understand? The tiger said, do you think you have a stick to beat Song Wu?

In the cinema, Xiao Wang found himself sitting next to a beautiful and sexy girl.

He couldn't help putting his hand on her leg. The girl was startled and turned to look.

Leaning against Xiao Wang's ear, he said softly, "After 30 minutes, if you don't stop, I will call the police for help!" "

In a remote mountainous area, a woman is naturally fond of showing off. Shortly after the marriage, her man went out to do business, and the woman was having an affair with her lover in the house. Halfway through, listening to the footsteps outside, the woman hurriedly put on her lover's sheepskin coat and hid in the backyard sheepfold.

The man came back to pull the woman to have sex, and the woman refused. The man was so hungry that he went to the backyard to catch a sheep. It happened that this sheep was faked by that woman's lover. After sex, the man went back to his room and got up in the middle of the night to catch sheep to vent.

In the morning, the man got up, thinking back to last night, thinking that the sheep smelled, went to the backyard, grabbed the sheep and was about to act. The sheep suddenly stood up and said, "Are you fucking crazy? Am I the only sheep in the sheepfold? "

Mr. Wang bought a turtle on a business trip and was not allowed to take it with him on the plane. He used his quick wits, put the turtle in his crotch and got on the plane. After sitting firmly, I was afraid that the turtle would suffocate, so I unzipped the turtle's head and let it out. The stewardess passed by and kept twisting her head.

Mr. Wang said, look, look at what. Never seen it?

The stewardess blushed and said, I have seen this thing many times, and it is the first time for a person with long eyes like you to see it!

One day, I had dinner with a Wang Xingren. He was very sour and wanted to invite him to dinner. So I asked everyone, "Why is it called turtle instead of nine?" Naturally, no one can answer. Wang Xing's friend didn't like it, so he said, "What you said makes sense, I'll drink a bottle, and vice versa." Everyone looked at me and I cleared my throat. Everyone has a hundred surnames, right? Zhao Gan Sun, Wu. How many places do you think Wang Xing has? Gaga.

There used to be a male employee who was on a business trip and stayed in a hotel at night. He was about to go to bed when the phone rang. A woman's voice came from the other end of the phone: "Come all the way to meet. Is 200 yuan expensive? "

Man: "Where there is a lot of grass in the world, can we do it for fifty dollars?"

Woman: "Spring breeze is very difficult. The lowest you can give is 130."

Man: "Qianshan is always in love. How about seventy dollars?"

After two years of marriage, Mr. Zhang, who graduated from the police academy, always felt that his wife was a little strange and suspected that she was having an affair.

One day, Mr. Zhang always found a message from a stranger on his wife's mobile phone, and the content of each message was the same:

"Brother Zhao asked you to do something for me." !

At ten o'clock in the evening, Mr. Zhang caught the cheating wife and the man who was having sex.

Mr. Zhang cursed: you look down on our people's public security! Do you think I don't understand that information? 10: 30 I'll help you take off your bra;

It was hot, but the school was out of power. From day to night 10, our girls' dormitory is very quiet, everyone enjoys the cool on the balcony, but the boys' dormitory is very lively. After a commotion, the boys seem to have reached some kind of knowledge, only to hear organized cries from the opposite corridor: "Hoo, hoo, we want to shout!" " "About 10 minutes later, the school actually called, and there was a cheer from the opposite side, and the dormitory area became calm.

Until the light-off time of 1 1 in the evening, because of the long-term power failure, the boys began to shout neatly: "delay, delay, we will delay!" "The school, which has always been harsh, agreed to the unreasonable demands of this group of people for the first time and extended the call time.

Just as we were about to have a rest, something happened that I will never forget. Perhaps the boys were so excited, because the two of them' usually impossible requirements were actually realized by the school, so there was a more organized and magnificent voice from the opposite boys' dormitory, .............:

"Women ... women ... we want a woman! ! ! "

Woman: "I want to formally warn you that my husband will be back in an hour."

Man: "But I didn't do anything rude."

Woman: "I know. If you want to do something, there is only less than an hour left. "