Selected series of jokes

1. Xiaoming said to his father, "Dad, I'm so cold." Dad said, "I'm not cold standing in the corner." Xiao Ming didn't understand and asked, "Why?" Dad said, "Because the angle is 90 degrees."

Xiaoming is a junior, but he still has no girlfriend. Egged on by his dormitory buddies, he decided to go after a girl he had long admired. One day, he saw the girl walking alone on the playground and followed her. Xiao Ming is very anxious because he doesn't know how to speak. Seeing the girl getting farther and farther away from him, he had to pick up something from the ground and catch up and say, "Miss, did you drop this brick?"

Xiao Ming, Xiao Gang and Xiao Liang went out to play together and saw a lump of shit. Xiao Ming came back and said, I'll smell it. It could be cow dung. Xiaogang came back and said, I licked it. It should be cow dung. Xiao Liang came back and said, Haha ~ I'm still the smartest. I went to taste it. It must be cow shit! Ha ha!

4. One day, Xiaoming challenged Xiaogang, saying it was a shit contest. Xiao Gang agreed. Xiao Gang's plucking is long, and Xiao Ming's plucking is flowery and puppy-shaped. Xiao Gang is puzzled. Xiao Ming said that I actually squeezed out. Xiao Gang fell down.

Xiaoming wrote a composition and handed it to the teacher. Because the handwriting is too sloppy, the teacher looks left and right, and he doesn't know a word, let alone understand the meaning of the text. So the teacher waved a pen: it looks like a prescription, which is the material for being a doctor.

6. The teacher organizes the students to watch the football match. After that, organize a discussion, the theme is: how to carry forward the football spirit in learning. "If we study together," Xiao Ming said, "the reason why our exam results are low is because the ball is not passed well. Some people are unconscious. When someone passes the ball to him, he won't pass it after copying it. "

7. In class, the teacher asked the students to make sentences with "sadness". Xiao Ming stood up without thinking, and said, "There is a river in front of my house. I'm so sad! ..... "Teacher: I am even sadder ...

8. In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune. Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?" Xiaohua: Yes, Xiaoming: Do you know what the teacher is playing? Xiaohua: "Piano."

9. Xiao Ming was walking, and suddenly his feet felt sore. Why? Because he stepped on a lemon.

10. One day Xiao Ming and his two partners wanted to rob, so they bought three knives. ~ when they just took the knife, they were accidentally seen by the police .. so the police asked. Why did you buy a knife? Xiao Ming said. "Eating watermelon is very useful," said the policeman. Then why buy three knives? Xiaoming. Because my family has three watermelons.

1 1. There is a meadow in front. (Beat one) Answer: Plum blossoms (no flowers)

12. There is a meadow ahead. (Beat one plant) A: Wild plum blossoms (no flowers)

13. A flock of sheep is coming. (Hit a fruit) Answer: Strawberry (no grass)

14. A pack of wolves are coming. Answer: Yangmei (no sheep)

15. Potato wants to duel with steamed stuffed bun, but there is a river ahead, and he can't cross it. Answer: Dutch beans (the river is sad)

16. The duel began, and the potato stabbed the steamed stuffed bun with a deadly knife (hitting a food). Answer: bean paste bag (killing bean bag)

17. The mouse said to the wild horse, "I dated the cat yesterday!" " "(made a foodie) Answer: Film Department (rat cheat)

18. The wild horse didn't believe it and picked up the mouse. Answer: potato (camel mouse)

19. The pig said, "Come on!" Answer: chocolate (encouraged by pigs)

20. A sheep was eating grass, and a wolf passed by the sheep, but didn't eat the sheep. Answer: shrimp (blind)

2 1. Another wolf passed by the sheep and hasn't eaten it yet. Answer: Sea shrimp (still blind)

22. The third wolf passed by and the sheep rushed over and shouted, but the wolf still didn't eat the sheep. Answer: lobster (deaf and blind)

Finishing: zhl20 16 12