Ask for some funny jokes! More-more ~

Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly, "Count off!" " "So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree!

One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and roared: You have never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I see where the fuck you lost!

The teacher asked the physical education Committee to make sure that all the girls in the class were here, so he said to him, "Go and tidy up all the girls in the class." The Sports Commission was a little goat and asked, "Which one?" Teacher @ # ... ￥%

The teacher handed out papers, and the girl at the back took an extra one, shouting "Teacher, I have it, I have it". As a result, the boy sitting next to me said, "It's mine, it's mine", and the whole class was shocked ~ ~ ~

The teacher asked, "Xiao Ming, the teacher gave you 90 yuan, and then you borrowed it from nothing 10 yuan. How much money do you always have? "

Xiao Ming said flatly, "0 yuan!"

The female teacher was greatly dissatisfied and criticized: "You don't know math at all!"

Xiao Ming explained: "teacher, you don't know anything at all!" " "

The dean said to the mental patient, "You are very brave! You saved a drowning man! "

Neuropathy proudly said: "it's a piece of cake, why bother!" "

The dean continued: "Unfortunately, you saved this man from hanging himself again!" "

The mental patient asked in surprise, "No way, I obviously hung him up to dry!" " "

There was a drought in the village, and the farmer asked the mage for rain!

The farmer asked, "When will it rain?"

The mage handed the farmer a piece of paper and ordered, "The secret can't be revealed, but it can only be opened in rainy days!" " "

Soon, it rained!

The farmer excitedly opened the note and saw that it said, "It's raining today."

The farmer sighed, "How fucking accurate!"

It was getting late, and the man was standing alone on the balcony when he suddenly saw a meteor passing by!

The man quickly made a wish: "I hope my girlfriend can become more beautiful!" " "

After a while, the meteor came back with a whoosh and said to the man, "Big Brother! I mean to embarrass me? "

The Arab boy who just went to France to study called his father:

"France is a good place, but I am a little embarrassed every time I enter school!"

Dad asked, "Why? Hey, not bad money! "

The boy explained, "everyone else goes to school by subway, but I drive a Mercedes."

Dad said, "I'll transfer 200 million to you right away." Don't be ashamed. Go buy a subway! " "

The prisoner is being sent to the execution ground.

The prisoner complained, "How fucking far away!"

Pol.ice comforted: "Dude, you are lucky, we have to come back again!" " "

The Tang Priest got up early in the morning and found Wukong kneeling in front of the bed, looking at himself with tears on his face!

The Tang Priest was frightened and asked, "Wukong, what's the matter?"

Wukong cried and said, "Master, please, next time you talk in your sleep, don't say spells, okay?"

The man was wandering around with his son and happened to meet a female colleague.

The man proudly showed off to his female colleague: "Look, my son looks exactly like me!" " "

The female colleague said: "Don't be sad, it doesn't matter if the child is ugly, as long as it is healthy!" " "

How much I fucking love you, you fucking ignore it;

I give you a fucking discharge, and you fucking pretend not to see it;

I fucking want to jump off a building, and you fucking want to turn back;

You fucking changed your mind! I fucking landed!

The ship is sinking after being in distress!

A passenger is eating bread casually.

The captain asked, "sir, the ship is sinking." Why are you still eating? "

The passenger said, "The doctor told me never to drink water on an empty stomach!" " "