Funny and funny copywriting

1. You are so beautiful. First of all, you have to thank your parents. If they hadn’t given you a pair of skillful hands, would you have been able to make yourself so beautiful?

2. When something goes wrong, I will not rush to blame others. Instead, I will reflect on myself first. If it is really my fault, I will think about how to blame it on others!

3. When I’m chasing you, I call you baby, when I get you, I call you baby, when I’m happy, I call you wife, when I’m quarreling, I call you crazy, when I’m angry, I call you a jerk, when I’m irritable, I call you Don't worry, this is a man, what a vivid and vivid bastard.

4. Some women are afraid of thunder when it rains, and even scare their babies to death. The DJ in the bar plays so loudly at night, it goes dark and then lights up, why haven't I seen you scared? Shake so hard that your mother doesn’t even recognize you.

5. I was moved by my girlfriend again, and I accompanied her to have an abortion today. She was lying on the hospital bed and weakly said to me: My dear, I don’t want a child that’s not yours!

6. When a man really falls in love with you, you will find: Hey! You have an extra father; when a man pretends to fall in love with you, you will find that you have an extra son, but he is still a rebellious son.

7. Every man says: "I will make you fat so that no one will want you. I will keep you for the rest of my life!" But the reality will tell you: you have not become fat yet. , and he left.

8. My wife’s hands-on ability is really strong. When she was away, the floor at home was not mopped, the dishes were not washed, and the clothes were not washed. As soon as she came back, the housework inside and outside was immediately tidied up. Specifically, if I don't do something, she will beat me until I finish.

9. There are two necessary ways to conquer a woman: one is to please her mother, and the other is to surpass her father.

10. It is good to get married. For those who do not get married, no matter how brilliant their life is, to put it bluntly, they are just waiting to die alone. Marriage is different. Marriage is not about waiting for death alone, it is about waiting for the other person to die.

11. The reason why you feel like life is always targeting you is entirely because you are ugly. If you were beautiful, you would be cheating every day.

When I was 12.5 years old, my goal was Ferrari. When I was 20 years old, my goal was the Audi A6. When I was 25 years old, my goal was the Geely Panda. My current goal is to squeeze into the bus and have a seat to sit and listen to music.

13. My mother told me that when looking for a partner, you should not just look at other people’s appearance, but also look at your own appearance.

14. My mother said that since Huang Bo became famous and rich, he looks more beautiful no matter how he looks.

15. Being good-looking can’t be used as food, but not being good-looking can really make people unable to eat.

16. No matter how busy you are in your industry, in the eyes of your family, you are just someone who plays with mobile phones.

17. When I was young, my mother gave my sister 20 cents and asked her to take me to the store to buy bubble gum. At that time, it was only 10 cents each. My sister bought two and ate them all by herself, waiting for her to chew them. She gave it to me when she was tired of it. I asked her why she chewed it before giving it to me. She said, "I checked to see if it was poisonous." At that time, I really felt that my sister was good, and she was my real sister.

18. I once naively thought that money was omnipotent, but later I discovered that money is not omnipotent, it is omnipotent.

19. The motto of a little intern girl in the office: Mom said that women must love their own faces. If someone slaps you on the left cheek, you should extend your right cheek to let him slap it, otherwise the foundation will not be as thick.

20. Why do some boys suddenly ignore you after flirting with you? They cast the net over a large area and selectively catch you, and you are released.

21. Other people’s twenties: face-slimming needles, canthus opening, nose padding, fat filling, apple muscles; my own twenties: this one is delicious, that one is delicious, hahaha, boss , have another one!

22. I am a kindergarten teacher. Today, a little kid in the class refused to go to bed at noon and did somersaults on the bed. As a result, he dropped an apple into the peeing spittoon under the bed. I secretly peeed there. Let’s see what he did. He picked up the apple, ran to me, and said innocently: Teacher, chew the skin for me.