English jokes

People who love to laugh are never too bad luck, so do you like to laugh? Here, I collected some interesting English jokes. Let's have a look! Maybe I can beat your laughing blood!

English jokes 1

The exact number. The exact number.

A tourist visited New Mexico and was surprised by the dinosaur bones everywhere.

How old are these bones? The tourist asked an elderly Native American who was a tour guide.

100 million and three years old.

How can you be so sure? The tourist asked.

"Well," the guide copied, "a geologist camel passed by and hugged me." These bones have a history of one million years, that was three years ago.

A tourist was visiting New Mexico, and he was surprised by dinosaur fossils everywhere.

How old are these fossils? The tourist asked an elderly local American tour guide.

It has been thirteen years.

How can you be so sure? The tourist asked.

"Oh," replied the tour guide, "a geologist has been here. He told me that these fossils have a history of one billion years, and that was three years ago."

English joke 2

Do you know what I do?

One night, a hotel caught fire and the people living in it ran out in their pajamas.

Two men stood outside watching the fire.

Before I came out, a man said, I ran into some rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think about money when they are afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in the fire, the fire will burn it. So I took all the money I could find. No one will become poorer because I took them.

You don't know my job, said another.

What is your job?

I am a policeman.

Oh! The first man shouted. He had a brainwave and said, Do you know what I do? No, the police said.

I am a writer. I always tell things that never happened.

One night, a hotel caught fire, and the people living in this hotel ran out in their pajamas.

Two men stood outside, watching the fire.

Before I came out, one of them said, I ran into some rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think about money in fear. If someone leaves paper money in the fire, the fire will burn it to ashes, so I took all the paper money I could find, and no one will become poorer because I took them.

Another man said, you don't know what I do.

What do you do?

I am a policeman.

Oh! The first man gave a cry and said with a brainwave, do you know what I do? The police said they didn't know.

As a writer, I always like to make up stories that never happened.

English joke 3

Beautiful wedding gift

We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we don't know the young man and his bride, we decided to give them a practical family gift, a fire extinguisher. Obviously, the couple made a lot of thank-you letters, because we received a card that said: Thank you very much for your beautiful wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.

Beautiful wedding gift

We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. As neither of us knew the young man nor his bride, we decided to give them a practical family gift-a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card that read:? Thank you very much for your beautiful wedding present. We look forward to using it soon. ?

English joke 4

An excuse for speeding.

Harry and Lloyd were speeding on the road. A police car stopped them.

"Why on earth are you driving so fast?" The policeman shouted.

"Our brakes are not good, so we want to get there before the accident!"

Go there quickly

Harry and Lloyd were speeding and a police car stopped them.

? Why are you driving so fast? The police officer shouted.

? Our brakes are not good, so we want to get to our destination before the accident. ?

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