Humorous sentences _ humorous language sentences

Humorous people always tell classic jokes to make people laugh. Below I will share some humorous sentences with you. Come and enjoy them with me.

? Humorous sentences

1. Is there a person who made you crazy, but now you are desperately forgetting?

2. You can only drive a Land Rover if you eat hard, and you can only drive Xiali if you don't work hard.

3. I want to be with you forever if I am not careful.

4. Elder sister is often imitated, but never surpassed.

5. "There are many wonders in the small world. If the pig is happy and bright, your sorrow will go away. Read the short message carefully and laugh."

6. It is said that a girl is extremely ugly and was robbed by a gang of robbers one day. When you get to the car, see the girl and let her get off. His daughter said:? You robbed me, and you have to marry me alone. ? The bandit leader said, Sister, we only made a mistake. This is the money robbed today. Here you are. ? Women can't stay, and bandits:? Please, don't do everything. Why don't you go down and we'll turn ourselves in? The woman still couldn't stop, and the bandit first gritted his teeth and stamped his foot. Don't want the car! ?

7. Dear, I have something important to discuss with you! I want to change careers! When I go as a beggar, China has a population of 1 million. If everyone begs for a piece, I will have 1 million! You can also consider studying abroad, don't you think?

8. Faye Wong was selected as the best female singer of the year and Liu Yifei as the best actress of the year by the Billboard. Gaddafi was unhappy: Me too? Fi? Word generation, why didn't I win the prize? It is said that anyone who reads this information and does not forward it will be sold to the south? No? To be a laborer, have you changed?

9. There is a saying that has been in my heart for a long time, and I have never had a chance to say it. I have been wandering at your door, watching you from a distance and paying attention to you. During this period, I have suffered and struggled. I decided to tell you my inner suffering today: Leader, you reimbursed the invoice for the last meal! Why don't you treat me tonight?

1. Please write a love story. Requirements: romantic and concise, with a sad ending. The number of words is unlimited. A classmate wrote: male? I love you? , female? Get out?

11. Archimedes said: Give me a fulcrum, and I can move the earth. ? You said:? Give me a cowhide, and I can blow it to the sky. ? I said:? Give me a BMW and I can-sell it at a good price! ?

12. I want to be your eyes. When you walk at night, I will shut my eyes tightly, so that you will be killed. I want to be your tongue. When you enjoy the delicious food, I will fail, so that you will be greedy and want to be your mouth. When you confess to her, I will be silent and worry you to death. Maybe I can't do this, but sending a message will kill you. I still have confidence. I wish you a happy smile!

13. save money hard! Wife wants money, lover wants money, Lao tze wants money, son wants money! Money is not everything, and you can't do anything without money! No wonder, in the journey to the west, the living Buddha asked for money when he learned the scriptures. May the god of wealth give more wealth.

14. If you ask me how much I love you, and how much I love you, my love will remain unchanged. The moon represents my heart, sleeps with your name on my pillow, and sleeps sweetly with you. It's warm, warm, fragrant and sweet-dear? Orangutan? .

15. Dear, let me tell you my dream! When I have money, I will buy two sets of houses, one of which I can't love, and the other just can't live; When I have money, I will buy two cars, one for driving and one for towing. When I have money, I will send the iphone to someone I hate, and let the courier staff smash the iphone in front of that person. When I have money, I will marry you and give you full financial power.

16. If I send you a word, you will be perfect this year. If I send you a word, you will be beautiful in pairs this year. If I send you more than a word, you will be happy this year. If I have said all this and you are still looking up the numbers, you will have to study math well this year.

17. There is only one thought in your mind: eating. Hehe, please be humorous: accept, send you happiness: every day.

18. Real warriors are not afraid when they are faced with dripping blood; Real wise men don't panic when facing thousands of difficulties; A true brother is willing to be your woman when you need a woman!

19. What I hate most is that I only reply to my message after receiving it? Oh? Dear people, I am most afraid of the kind of people who delete my messages as soon as they are received. My favorite is the kind of people who look at my messages and giggle. What I admire most is the kind of people who immediately forward my messages when they see them. Dear, what kind of people are you?

2. Monkey, have you never heard Chang 'e's sister's heavenly singing, or have you never appreciated her graceful dancing? Walking into the Moon Palace, pigs are intoxicated, even the air is so fragrant, and that feeling is refreshing! Humorous language sentences

1. The donkey and the horse have known each other for half a year, and the horse finally got up the courage to declare to the donkey: Honey, I will be kind to you all my life. Let me kiss you, okay? The donkey refused: sorry, my mother said: the donkey's lips are not right for the horse's mouth!

2. What's the difference between jumping off a building and jumping off a building? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Answer. The building is:? Bang! Ah. ? The building is:? Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Bang! ?

3. Inform users that the binding function between mobile phone and bank card has been activated, but due to network problems, some users can't use this function normally. In order to test the function, please go to the nearby large supermarket to buy items. When paying at the cashier, take out your mobile phone and swing it at the card reader several times. If the car from the madhouse arrives in a few minutes, it means that you have not successfully activated this function.

4. In view of your long appearance, you look like yourself in front. Four unlike? . Hehe, may you smile often.

5. It's said that Apple mobile phone has many functions that we haven't used. I painstakingly saved my hard-earned money to buy an Apple mobile phone. I took it out in the store and groped for it with excitement. While playing, I asked the salesperson and watched the salesperson impatiently introduce the function. I was smart enough to say that I knew this function. Then I chose the flight mode and threw the mobile phone out. Then I saw the cold sweat on the salesperson's face ~ ~ ~ and then ~~

6. You said you were sad, and I gave you comfort; You say disappointment, I will cheer you up; You say backache, I'll rub it for you; You say your back itches, I'll scratch it for you; You said you had a toothache, I'll pull it out for you! Keep you busy!

7. Xiao Ming was kidnapped and forced to give out his bank card password. The kidnapper was tortured with an electric baton. Xiao Ming said with a solemn expression, I won't tell, and I won't look at which school I graduated from. The kidnapper asked, which school? Ming Dow Jr.: Xiamen University! The kidnapper grinned: Do you know which school I graduated from? Xiao Ming has a question: What school? The kidnapper laughed: RTVU! Happy moment, I wish you happiness.

8. My thin body still wants to hit you hard, hit you hard, and if I don't hit you, I will feel uncomfortable and finally give vent to my explosive power. ? Atchoo? I finally sneezed this comfortable sneeze. My friend, I miss you like this sneeze. I don't feel carefree if I don't send it. Friend, I'm thinking about you hard.

9. When we were young, we had no guesses. I sang and you danced, and I could sing 2 songs, so you could dance 2 dances, so people kindly called me 2 songs and you 2 dances.

1. "After receiving this message, please look around immediately, and see if there is anyone looking around. Like you, he is looking around with a mobile phone. If yes, please say hello to him for me. If he says hello to you, he must have received the same message as you. If not, then the only person I want to bless is you. I wish you happiness. "

11. I didn't receive your message after the Chinese New Year, so I feel very distressed. It hurts to miss you. I once cut my pulse with a banana. Hit your head with an egg; Hanging with noodles. But none of them died, so please have a meal and die.

12. Since eating gutter oil strips, my stomach cramps, my intestines are crazy, and my walkway is unstable. Since drinking fresh leather milk, my heart has stopped beating, my lungs have stopped sucking, and my blood is blocked. Fortunately, I have a styrene-acrylic wooden bed, and I have slept on it for one night. The pain is gone, my troubles are gone, and my life is dying. I wish you a happy smile!

13. Although they are loud, they dare not lose their temper. When they see the iphone, they hide in the corner, and when they meet the htc, they are as good as cats. Nokia dares not provoke them, Samsung dares not touch them, and they are not as good as Motorola. Different Lenovo grabs the market. Who told us that we are a domestic mobile phone with a miscellaneous brand? We can't go abroad for a walk these days.

14. "Wife: My husband gave me money. Husband: money is not the problem, the problem is no money! Wife: Then buy me a diamond ring! Husband: diamonds last forever, and one will go bankrupt! Wife: Then I'll find another one! Husband: That won't do! One mountain can't accommodate two tigers, unless there is a male and a female. Wife: Oh, my God! How did I fall in love with you! "Husband: To ask what the world is, everything has its vanquisher."

15. One day in geography class, the geography teacher asked me: What are the four oceans of the earth? I replied: teacher, you are wrong. It should be five oceans, right? Pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat and Jonie! ?

16. not all of them? Dad? Are all caring, such as stocks? Dad? Play with the money to death, not all of it? Mom? They are all kind-hearted, such as Huang Shiren's mother, who pushed the poor to death. Not all text messages are sent to send blessings, such as my text messages, but they are determined to send happiness. I wish you happiness!

17. A woman bought a new bed. Because she lives near the railway station, the lathe rings whenever it goes too far. Call the after-sales service for maintenance. After the after-sales service, you can't hear it. The woman said you heard it when you were lying in bed. Just lying down after the after-sales service and passing a train, the after-sales service didn't sound. The woman didn't believe it and lay down. The husband of the woman who just lay down came back and said angrily: What are you doing? After-sales said:? Brother, I said I was waiting for the train. Do you believe me?

18. If you don't fight for one day, you will get up early for two days, and it seems to be over. Don't be impulsive, stay alive, and be angry with you for getting sick. Eight thousand is hard to treat, so rest and play at ten o'clock! Online games? Fight? You didn't discuss it I wish you happiness!

19. "Every time my dad comes into my room to watch me play computer games, he will ask? Are you studying? . If I'm watching American TV, that's it? Are you learning English? If I'm painting Weibo, that's it? Are you writing a novel? If I read short messages on my mobile phone, that's it? Are you reading on your mobile phone? I wish parents all over the world happy every day! "

2. Dude, you haven't been working yet! It just so happens that I recently found a position that is very suitable for you. It is tailor-made for you. I have already signed you up, that is, to be a cook in Xiang Yu's military camp. My duty is to carry buckets and cook rice, which is referred to as "useless husband" for short! Remember to go to the interview. After seeing this message, I shouted to the sky three times loudly: I am useless! You will cross to Xiang Yu's military camp. Good luck! Funny and humorous classic jokes

1. I like your big eyes best, so smart and cute. I like your soft hair best, so smooth and bright. I like your good voice best, so crisp and sweet: Meow meow, if you are happy, remember to forward my message with your soft little hand. 2. Eat beautifully in the first month, don't lose weight in the month, and the meat in the month is piled up, and few people chase it in the month. Still reading text messages? Go and lose weight quickly!

3. Remember when we were at school, everyone called you? Pigs are strange? You can't stand it when you scream too many times. Finally, one day, when a classmate calls you a nickname again, you burst out: I'm not a pig!

4. If one day we are sailing by boat together, and you are caught in a storm, I will go down to save you, or the cash you carry will be wasted. Have a good laugh!

5. Leaders choose couplets for the unit. Part I: Bai Jiahei promised not to rest on Saturday; Bottom line: five plus two Sunday rest is not guaranteed; Horizontal batch: work hard! I wish people who see the text message self-pressure and take more money.

6. Monitor of a new barracks: Hua Jun, why is your quilt always worse than Dou Bing's? Hua Jun: It's reported that Dou Bing made tofu before joining the army, while I made steamed bread with flower rolls before joining the army.

7. What is happiness? Happiness means that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters. But for me, happiness means that you are fattened, healthy and healthy, and then slaughtered, haha, little pig!

8. You are fat and I am thin, which makes you account for most of the weight in the balance of our friendship. Your height and my short make us in the vast sea of people. You always look back and look for me. When we communicate with each other, you always talk and I always listen. When can we live on the stage where you only earn money and I only spend money? Wish you a happy smile!

9. When you are in love, promise to marry each other in the next life; After marriage, I often complain that I built doomed love in my previous life. You say, are we, the gate building is opposite to the theater, not that enemies don't get together? !

1. In this spring season, the cat has found a lover, the dog has found a lover, and even the pig has his own other half. What about you, dear? You haven't found your dream girl yet, have you? Then you are really worse than a pig and a dog.

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