Children's jokes

Children's short jokes

Laughter caused by jokes may affect the neuroendocrine system that controls blood sugar concentration. As the saying goes, "smile, ten years younger"! The following children's short jokes are compiled by me for your reference.

children's short jokes 1

1. Counting the stars

In the evening, Xiaoxiao came to Mao Mao and said, "Come on, let's count the stars in the yard."

Mao Mao: "It's so dark, can you count it? I think we'd better go to bed tonight and wait until dawn tomorrow. "

Second, the son watches basketball

The father holds his five-year-old son in his lap and watches the basketball game with rapt attention. Seeing the athletes desperately trying to grab the ball, the child asked, "Dad, basketball must be very expensive, isn't it?"

Dad was surprised and said, "Darling, what makes you think that?"

The child said, "If it's not expensive, why don't they each buy one?"

Third, the teacher who loves to lie

On the first day of school, Bobo came home from school.

"How is the new teacher?" Mom asked.

"Not good at all. She likes lying."

"how come? Don't talk nonsense. "

"In arithmetic class, she first said that 3 plus 3 equals 6; After a while, she said that 2 plus 4 equals 6; After class, she said that 5 plus 1 equals 6. " Children's short jokes 2

1. Rest assured

Mother and son went to the zoo and came to the iron cage where the lion was kept. Mother said, "don't get too close, son!" "

The son replied, "Mom, don't worry, I won't hurt it."

Second, compensation

A boy said, "Your dog bit me, and I want you to pay for it!"

another boy: "I'm really sorry. I'll hold the dog down now and bite it whatever you want!" "

Third, the balloon is gone

In the park, a child is always crying behind a pregnant woman. The pregnant woman finally got impatient and turned to ask, "What's the matter with you, son?"

"auntie," sobbed the child, "my balloon is gone. Did you hide it in your stomach? "

Fourth, wrinkles

A little girl was sobbing in the street, and an old lady with wrinkles came up and said, "Don't cry, don't cry! Crying more will wrinkle the beautiful face, and it will become ugly! " The little girl immediately stopped crying. wait for a while said, "Mother-in-law, did you love to cry when you were a child?"

5. How to keep mosquitoes from biting us?

answer; Put some oil on your body, and mosquitoes will slip off when you step on it.

put some glue on your body, and the mosquitoes will stick to it.

Play "Lullaby" and mosquitoes will go to sleep, so they won't bite.

6. Close to the sun

A basketball player who is 2.1 meters tall came from the court. He was sweating like a pig. Two primary school students on the side of the road met and talked about it. "Why do you think this uncle is so hot?" "Because he is tall." "Why is it hot when you are tall?" "Tall and close to the sun!" Children's short jokes 3

1. Between hands and faces

Mother: "Your face is still clean, but why are your hands so dirty?" Son: "I just wiped my face with my hand."

Second, the memory is terrible

How is your teacher? Her memory is terrible. Just now, she said 1+1=2, and now she says 3-1 = 2 < P > Third, why do you call students < P > Dad: "Son, you are in junior high school. Do you know why you call them students?" Son: "I know, we only learn things that are familiar to students!" "

Fourth, have a rest

My son did something wrong and cried for an hour after being reprimanded by me. I ignored him. When he stopped crying, I asked him, "Stop crying?" The son replied, "I don't want to cry. I want to have a rest."

5. Do you understand "things"?

One day, my aunt said to the children in her class (she is a kindergarten teacher), "You must be sensible!" Suddenly a child said loudly, "Teacher, I still know five!" " Children's short joke article 4

Boiling water is sick

Boiling water is sick and went to the emergency department. Guess what's wrong with boiling water? Because the boiling water is boiling! My lungs hurt!

What province are you from?

Grandma asked her granddaughter who went to kindergarten.

Grandma: What country are you from, Baby?

granddaughter: China people!

grandma: which province are you from?

granddaughter: mom gave birth to it!

teach literacy

a rich man hired a teacher to teach his son literacy. On the first day, the teacher taught me to write "one, two, and three". When the rich man's son thought that the original words were so simple, he told the rich man that he had learned to write. The rich man was very happy and asked him to write a "hundred".

Responsibility is more important than Mount Tai

He was walking home behind his wife's back, and suddenly he gently said to his wife, "Every time I carry you behind my back, I feel that I am carrying responsibility." She buried her head on his back shyly, and he stopped to catch his breath: "Responsibility is more important than Mount Tai!"

Real Hell

Wife: What if we all die and go to hell? Husband: I will pray to God to let you go to heaven. I am alone in hell! Wife: You have a conscience! Husband: I'm afraid we're both in hell and married. For me, that's the real hell.

The nonsense husband

pooped in the toilet in the morning, and his throat suddenly itched, so he couldn't help coughing a few times. The husband in the living room asked with concern: What's the matter? Oh, is it choking? I ...

narrow-minded child

My mother admonished her son, "As a man, you must have backbone. How can you kneel down and beg for help just to borrow toys!" The son smiled and said, "What does it matter? Then he will kneel down and beg me to pay him back! "

It was a white joy

My sister said excitedly, "Mom, I saw 1 yuan money on the bus, and I didn't pick it up!" Mom was furious: "Fool, why don't you pick it up?" My sister said weakly, "Because I was sitting on the bus and saw 1 yuan money in the pedestrian lane!"

Children who learn and use

Dad advised their children to drink milk, saying, "Drinking milk will make them as powerful as cows ..." The next day, the children stopped eating pork. Dad asked him why? The child said, "What should I do if I eat pork and become as stupid as a pig in the future?"

Good Holy Spirit's Pet

Children are talking about their pets at home. A: My grandpa's myna can talk. B: The Persian cat my mother bought can stand upside down. C: My father keeps a fox outside and quarrels at home every day!

Can you do what others can't do?

When Xiao Ming was at school, he studied poorly and his handwriting was scrawled, and no one knew his handwriting. One day, the teacher asked him, "Xiao Ming, can you do what others can't?" Xiao Ming replied, "Of course I can. For example, if I can read my own handwriting, others can't."

What is quick wits

Teacher: What is quick wits? Student: I got angry just because I was in a hurry, and I got hemorrhoids because I got angry.

This duel is too scary.

In Chinese class, our beautiful teacher held a idioms solitaire, which was divided into two teams. At the beginning of the teacher's speech, the other party said that he was the first to take the lead, and we had an idiot. He shouted at the top of his voice: Kill first, then kill ... At that time, the teacher's face turned green.

There are many odds

There are 11 boys and 42 girls in our class. At the class meeting last night, in order to open our imagination, the teacher asked the students: Students, please describe our class in one sentence. When a woman opens her mouth, she says: Yin flourishes and Yang declines. A boy wonderfully replied: Why don't you say it's run?

skipping rope

Last night, I saw a child skipping rope by the side of the road. While jumping, he was so tired that he could hardly breathe. I went up to him and asked him, "How many kids did you jump?" He said, "It's 25." I said it was good and awesome, so I left. I took two steps and heard him continue counting: "26,27,28!" " Children's short joke article 5

Le Ballon Rouge

My five-year-old nephew was playing with the hydrogen balloon I bought for him in full swing. After he accidentally got rid of it, the hydrogen balloon flew into the sky, so my nephew had to stare at the balloon and leave. In the evening, I took his hand to his grandmother's house. At this moment, I swung the red sun and fell to the west. Unexpectedly, my nephew shook my hand and shouted anxiously, "Little brother, look, my balloon is still there. Get it back for me."

Ask the dog to save some for me.

Duoduo was two years old and went back to her grandmother's house during the Spring Festival. Because there was no toilet at home, I pooped her in the yard. As soon as I pulled it out, a dog came to add it. Duo Duo asked, "Mom, what is the puppy doing?" Me: "Eating Baba." Duo Duo: Mom, ask the dog to save some for me.

Hair length and cleverness

Watching the Japanese cartoon "A Smart Break" with my son, I asked my son, "Baby, do you know why a break is so smart?"

The son thought about it, and Nunu said, "That's because there is no hair after a break."

I was surprised and asked him, "Does cleverness have anything to do with his lack of hair?"

the son replied, "don't you always say that mom has long hair and short knowledge?" If you don't have hair after a break, of course you are very smart! "

Uncle, this can stop

going to my buddy's big uncle's house during the Spring Festival, and there is an idiot boy at home.

I sat around doing nothing, and when I was waiting for dinner, I grabbed the bone on my hand. As a result, I pulled off a big piece, and it kept bleeding. The little boy ran and got some paper. I was very grateful to him, but I still couldn't stop the bleeding.

gc came, and he ran into the room again. Soon, he came with a piece of wsj, saying that my uncle could stop this, and he was a relative sitting at the table .......

There is no argument

Many primary school students have peed their pants, but I have never done it once. One day, when I came back from the toilet, there was some water in my crotch, so everyone made fun of me. I explained, "I really didn't, but I accidentally dropped a few drops when I urinated." One mm does not believe: "You will never drip there when you pee!" I can't argue.

three children are talking

I hear three children talking at once. The first child said, "I asked my dad to bring my tank and blow up your house." The second child said, "I asked my dad to fly a plane and blow up all your houses." The third child said with a bitter face, "I'll give you all the sugar." You two don't blow up my house. Or I won't have a place to eat. "

the first prize

is on the sports ground.

Child: "Dad, why are these people running so hard?"

Dad: "They are racing, and the first place has a prize."

Child: "The first place has a prize. Why do the others who don't have a prize run along?"

I want a change, too.

One day in the park, a white mother and a black mother came.

They all sit nearby and breastfeed.

Suddenly, the white child looked up and said to the white mother, "Mom, I want chocolate, too ..."

Bad things in the zoo

A policeman asked four boys what bad things they had done in the zoo.

The first boy replied: My name is George. I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.

The second boy replied: My name is Peter. I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.

The third boy replied: My name is Mike. I threw peanuts into the elephant pen, too.

The fourth boy replied: My name is Peanut ...

I want to be on TV.

My son is only three years old, and he saw a lot of food on TV.

So he said to me, "Dad, I want to get into the TV."

I said, "Why go in?"

son: "I'll go in and get some candy."

I said, "OK, then go in."

The son said weakly, "I dare not go in."

I asked strangely, "Why?"

The son replied: You should tune in when I go in.

Then who is hitting the moon

My son is watching the cat and the mouse, and the mouse hit the cat with a hammer and saw stars.

Son: "Dad, Dad, why are there little stars on the cat's head?"

Dad: "That's because he was knocked unconscious."

Son: "Then who is hitting the moon?"

dad: "hmm? No one will hit the moon. "

Son: "Then why are there so many stars around the moon?"

Dad: ...

Little guy's signature

Yesterday, I took my daughter to the supermarket to shop and pay the bill by credit card, and I had a whim to get the little guy's signature.

The cashier in the supermarket also kindly said that anyone can sign his name, so the little guy wrote his name seriously.

When the cashier just wanted to take it over after signing, she looked up and asked very seriously, "Do you still need to write Class 1, Grade 2?"

Draw a nose

Mom, I'm drawing a picture of Dad. Where is the red ink? What do you need red ink for? It's time for me to draw his nose.

black chicken is smart

Xiaozhi said: Do you think black chicken is smart or white chicken is smart?

xiaoyuan said: of course, black chickens are smart, because black chickens can lay white eggs, but white chickens can't lay black eggs.

Wang Li, a matchmaker at an early age

hasn't found a date yet, and her colleagues are very worried about her, saying, "Wang Li, what kind of boyfriend are you looking for?"

When my colleague's daughter heard this, she suddenly ran up to Wang Li, flashing her big eyes, holding her head back and saying, "Auntie, there are many little boys in our kindergarten. Will you come with me to find one?" Children's short joke article 6

The son excitedly said, "Mom, today is Children's Day. I want to eat Haagen-Dazs. "

Mom said, "No, it's too expensive.

If you shout for it again, I'll find you a wife! "

The son pouted and asked, "Dad, is the daughter-in-law so terrible?"

Dad rummaged through his pockets and sighed, "No daughter-in-law is single. With a daughter-in-law, it is brighter than a bachelor! " Children's short joke 7

It's almost Children's Day, and mother is going to take her son out to play

Mom: Xiaoming, where do you want to go most on Children's Day?

Xiaoming: Mom, I want to go to the amusement park. I have made an appointment with my classmates.

Mom: Son.